Life can be difficult, but sometimes we fall victim to believing things that simply are not reality. And the problem with this thinking is what we allow ourselves to believe does become OUR reality.
Maybe events from our past have led us to believe all people are dangerous. Or maybe we believe that we have no control over what happens to us. And then there are some who believe life is truly out of their control.
And it is for these reasons that I beg people to be aware of the inventory of thoughts in their mind. It is easy to believe life shapes us instead of the inverse and it is because of this that I believe many of us truly are victims-of our own thinking.
I have put some thought to it and believe I have come up with a fairly accurate list of 6 mindsets people have that will always lead to underachieving.
- Looking to the future while neglecting the present. I see this mindset a lot. Let me explain to you that the future will not be what you want it to be unless you begin working diligently in the present to prepare yourself.
- Failing to understand that your life is shaped by your habits. Too often people live their life haphazardly and do not take the time to implement the specific habits they need to bring them more success like healthy eating, exercise, being organized, setting goals, etc.
- Jumping from one “passion” to another never giving any one of them a chance to take root. People who jump from one thing to the next rob themselves of valuable experiences and leave their life unfinished. Their life becomes a collection of unfinished hobbies, tasks, jobs and relationships. Pick something and see it through to completion.
- Allowing yourself to use excuses in an attempt to justify one’s shortcomings. I have spent a ton of time talking about making excuses. At some point you have to take responsibility for your position in life.
- Believing that there are no real repercussions to living a neglectful lifestyle. Don’t jeopardize your future by being irresponsible today. Put down the cigarettes and lay off the cheeseburgers!
- Ignoring the connection between the body, mind and spirit and achievement. The successful people I know all spend time educating themselves on how to grow mentally, spiritually and physically. They understand success in anything is tied to being healthy in all three aspects of being.
I wish I could implant in people the power of thought, but I cannot and unfortunately most people will live in a fog. The mass of the population think luck and chance play a larger role than they actually play. There are things each of us can do each day to prepare ourselves for the life we want to live.
Expect more of yourself and begin to hold yourself accountable. Begin getting your body in better condition. Start getting your mind sharpened. Meditate or pray and get your spirit aligned. Stop living an out of control life. Quit staying busy in order to distract yourself from the important things in life. I know I can get a bit “preachy” sometimes, but it is only because I care. I care even if I don’t really know you. I want everyone who reads my page to find the joy and success they want.
I just wish more people realized joy and success don’t always happen by chance-sometimes you actually have to put yourself in position to receive them.
Have you ever given thought to the power your words have over your life?
A couple days ago I was on a sales call with a coworker to talk with a veterinarian about doing business with the newspaper. She was there to speak about the benefits of print media and I was there to discuss how we could help them improve their online presence.
On the way back to the office we had a great conversation about the principle that people become the words they speak and the power of the mind. In the past year she has lost significant weight which led me to ask her what brought about her wanting to change. Her explanation was simple-she changed her mind. She expressed to me how her physical body had come to represent how she perceived the world around her and how she perceived herself…mentally. She went on to explain how years of negative talk had developed into negative habits which led down the slippery slope of gaining weight. And I found this explanation to be insightful.
She believed she had become the words that she spoke and outlined how she developed a specific plan to change the words she used, the foods she ate and the ways she thought. If you have followed my page for any length of time you know this type of conversation is right up my alley! She eliminated using the word “hate” especially.
We talked about the power of the mind and how people use negative words without truly thinking about the power those words have over their lives. Using powerful, self-motivating, positive words have the ability to aim one more toward a positive and successful life. While using negative words and negative mental images have a powerful ability to bend one’s mind into believing and perceiving life to be overwhelming, tough and too difficult to succeed.
Diane Setterfield expressed the power of words in her 2006 novel
There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.
“Inside you they work their magic.” What kind of magic is working inside you? What words are you allowing to come from your mouth to manifest their reality in your life?
I don’t believe it is by happenstance that the vast majority of wealthy/successful people practice positive speaking. I also don’t believe it is happenstance that the majority of negative speakers experience limited success, limited joy, limited happiness and limited fulfillment. Some will disagree, but I have experienced it first-hand so you will never convince me that speaking negativity is more productive than speaking positivity. Once I changed my speaking and began to focus on using more productive and positive words, my mind began to change. My world-view began to become more positive. My life began to change for the better. Slowly but surely my life did change and I am better off for having put in the effort. Don’t believe me, then sit down with my wife and let her describe the man I was 5 years ago compared to the man I am today.
Most negative people will defend their negativity-I sure did. I proudly described myself as a realist. I thought by being true to my belief that people are genuinely awful in some way made me a martyr. Or maybe it made me feel more enlightened? As if my suffering somehow made me superior to those idiots that lived under rainbows. And I was wrong.
My negative thinking, negative speaking days are mostly behind me now and I am grateful that I put in the effort over the last few years to change. And my wife is especially thankful. As I have said in the past, my blogging style has transcended attempting to change people. All I can do is tell my story and hope someone out in this big world reads something I scribble, identifies with my words and decides to make a positive change. That’s all I can ask for. It does give me pleasure to read emails each month that express the impact my blog has had on someone’s life. To think about the impact blogging can have is powerful-and humbling.
My hope is that someone reads this today or tomorrow or maybe years from now after I am long gone and decides to focus on turning their frown upside down. That would make me smile. And I like to smile these days.
Have you tried and tried to change the way you speak negatively to yourself, only to fail and fail again?
Making any change can be hard, but changing this habit after years of reinforcement can be especially difficult. The way you speak to yourself can affect so many parts of your life and can be the foundation for a good day or a bad day; or a happy life or a sad life. For this reason I have come up with a quick list on how to change the way you talk to yourself.
…you must become aware of how you speak to yourself. Sometimes people talk negatively to themselves and don’t realize how negative they really are. Begin to pay attention to the particulars of your self-speak. Do you tend to be negative towards yourself? Do you use foul language? Do you berate yourself when you mess up simple tasks like dropping a pen? Are you quick to point out small failures to yourself? All of these things will have a dramatic impact on your day and your life!
Once you have become aware of your negative self-speak…
…decide you are no longer going to tolerate the negativity! Get angry at your internal voice. Decide once and for all that you have had enough and set this habit as the sole focus of your life. Imagine your internal voice as a real person. It makes sense that years of having someone over your shoulder pointing out every flaw, every mistake, every failure and never saying something positive would create a negative self image. And that is exactly what happens to us when our internal self-talk is negative. Eventually we believe our negative voice and begin to live that negativity. And in order to combat this you must get mad about it. If your self-talk were a real person doing the same, eventually you would get fed up with their antics and tell them to get out of your life. You need to use your emotions to break this cycle and begin fresh.
…you must begin to think intentionally. If you have followed my page for any length of time you will have heard me use the phrase “live an intentional life.” By this I mean you should not leave life to dictate terms to you while you sit idly by helplessly being washed against the shore. You must determine a plan for exactly how you want to live your life and then stick to that plan. In this instance you must develop a self-speak plan. Begin by reading lots of positive materials. Listen to positive media. Place yourself around more positive people. Begin to do more positive things. For instance, you could start your morning by reading a few pages from an inspirational book. Or you could listen to a book on disc from a motivational speaker as you get ready for work in the morning. In the evenings you could go for a nature walk to cleanse your mind and reconnect with nature. Design a plan for change and use positive information as the foundation.
…begin to speak more positively to others. The mission here is to reshape the way you think about life in general. You see, the effects of negative self-talk permeate one’s being and that negativity needs to be flushed from the system. The more you change the way you see the world around you, the easier it will be to change your internal dialogue. The more positivity you focus on, the better you will be.
You must also…
…begin to compliment yourself and focus on your accomplishments regardless of how small. Human beings have a tendency to over-emphasize failures and to under-emphasize accomplishments. What I advise you to do is begin hyping every single accomplishment you have in the day. Keep a scorecard of the times you compliment yourself versus the number of times you critique yourself. Turn it into a game and challenge yourself to change.
Also, when you…
…experience a small failure deemphasize its importance by saying things like “that’s no big deal,” or “I can take care of that.” Take the venom out of the failure. I knew a girl once whose internal self-talk was so bad that she called herself names when she would drop a pen or trip on the carpet or forget to do something. Stupid, dummy, idiot were a few of her favorites. It got so bad that she even began calling herself names quietly out loud! It is important to begin training your mind to keep these small set backs in their place instead of turning mole hills into mountains.
Understand that it will…
…take time to change your negative internal voice to one of a more positive nature. Don’t overreact if you fall back into a negative mindset. It will take months, maybe years, to retrain your mind to speak to yourself more positively. Think about your self-talk as an old wagon trail. Years and years of taking the same path has created deep ruts. And it can be difficult to dislodge the wagon wheel from those deep ruts. So in order to avoid falling in those ruts you must decide to take a different route all together. In our case, we have to decide to change the way our mind perceives the world in general and then how it perceives us as an individual. Once you train your mind to think in a different way, then the route will be much less treacherous and much more enjoyable.
You deserve to live in your own body without having your internal voice bully you each and every day. And you need to realize you deserve freedom! Begin paying particular attention to those alone times and how you speak to yourself. Is it positive and encouraging or negative and demeaning? If it is negative I want you to know there is hope, but you have to initiate the change. Your mind will fight you tooth and nail and it will take time to change your behavior, but with a lot of effort, focus and intentional living you can change that voice to one that is much more pleasant and kind.
I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback so be sure to leave them in the comments. Also, be sure to connect with me via Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest and Tumblr! Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!
As most of you know I live each day of my life with multiple sclerosis. My type of MS is secondary progressive which means that I have symptoms present daily with no remittance. I take it in stride understanding that there are many people worse off than I, therefore, I focus to stay thankful. With that said, the daily effort required to deal with this disease is great and the attention and love my wife shows me is even greater.
In my post My Life Living With MS, I talked about the fact that Evelina is my angel, my support and my strength. I am not sure what I have done in life to have her at my side, but I am greatly appreciative!!
Each day my wife assists me with a few simple tasks with which I struggle, tends to my medications and vitamins, prepares meals and reminds me of all the things that I forget. The job is truly a never-ending burden and she simply goes about her day with no complaints, which I find amazing.
Now that I am working a new job Evelina makes sure I have clean clothes and new ties. She keeps me organized and focused to take things with me that I will need throughout the day. Any success I find in the future at my job at the newspaper will be because of her. And for that I will be forever grateful.
So to my wife I say I love you, I appreciate your burden of love and you will always be my beautiful. My words will always fall short of expressing my feelings, but I hope you always know what you mean to me. Thank you for making my Dreams come true, I love you to the moon!
Do you believe your dream life is a possibility?
In the year and a half of operating this blog I have learned a lot. I am beginning to understand why more people don’t experience high levels of success, whether it be personally or professionally. Success requires tremendous effort which most are simply unwilling to exert. Okay, I’ll say it…most people are lazy. And it is a sad truth because it means many people will die having never experienced their dream life.
If more people understood the power small changes and the power of starting right now, then more people would experience the life they want. Dreams do not occur in a sudden event, but are the result of lots of small actions which accumulate of a period of time. But, in the end, people will continue to wish, procrastinate and fantasize instead of taking small, steady steps toward what they want.
To combat the ‘wish’ mindset I have compiled my list of 4 reasons why right now is the best time to chase your dreams:
1. Whether you do or do not, time is going to pass anyway
Many years ago I decided I needed to get in better shape. I had recently quit my job and would soon begin competing full-time as a professional golfer. I decided to keep my workout routine simple by committing to push-ups and sit-ups because I could do both of these in a hotel room which would be convenient as I traveled. At any rate, I began my workout and stuck with it for 60 days. I could not tell a difference on day 1, but on day 60 I had a six pack and my arms were defined. Time passes so slowly sometimes and change is so anticlimactic that we don’t see the changes for a long time. But changes are happening. People undervalue the power of taking small steps and quit because they don’t see dramatic results quickly. Life does not work that way. Think about a change you considered making a year ago that you didn’t. Now, think about the progress you would be experiencing now had you started way back then. Don’t let another year pass, go ahead and start now.
2. The “right time” will never come
Evelina and I have been working to start a family and the idea of having a little baby is scary! After all, I am forty-something and kind of set in my ways and the time never seems to be right for bringing a kid around; meaning, the hot water heater just went out or an unexpected bill came about or we have to buy a different car. The truth is there will never be a perfect time to have a baby. The perfect time is the moment the baby arrives and then nothing else matters. So it is with making changes in your life. “I can’t start eating healthy now because it is summer and vacation is right around the corner.” “I can’t start paying down debt because I need to find a better job making more money first.” “I can’t go back to school now because…” The excuses are easy to find, but the truth is the time will never be right if you don’t want the time to be right. The right time to make changes is right now, but many don’t accept this fact, which means most will never make the much needed changes.
3. You will never have enough money
This one goes hand-in-hand with the “right time” excuse and the premise is the same. Start now and stop waiting on more money. It is a proven fact that the more money you make, the more money you spend so it’s not gonna be there even if you do get a higher paying job or a promotion. Having more money is an excuse I get a lot and it is the weakest of all reasons for delaying action. Those that use this excuse expect me to believe that if the money truck pulled up to their house tomorrow, then they would be in a better place to start making positive changes in their life. As if money is going to be the catalyst or cure-all for their woes. I am sorry to report that this simply isn’t true. A report filed by the FINRA Investor Education Foundation revealed that 6 out of 10 Americans are saving absolutely nothing or WORSE! Meaning they are spending more than they make! So having more money will only mean the vast majority of people will spend more, not less. The truth is you are never going to have enough money so drop the excuses and get busy making changes!
4. Life isn’t going to get easier
“I just need to get out of school first, then I’ll do xyz.” OR…”I just have to get these kids back in school, then I’ll do xyz when I have more free time.” It is always nice to look to the future for relief. As if there will be a time in the near future when life will calm down a bit which will allow you the much needed freedom to achieve all the goals of which you have dreamed. This is a lie. Life is not going to slow down once you graduate and you will not have as much free time as you imagine once kids go back to school. These are excuses we all make to relieve ourselves of the responsibility in the here-and-now. Life is not going to magically get easier in the future nor is it going to ease up. By the time you graduate it will be time to find a job and when the kids go back to school something will arise to consume that newly created “free time.” The more you buy into the lie that there will be a time in the future that will be better suited for change, the longer it will be before change happens. Open your eyes to the reality that now is the only time you have!
In the year and a half of speaking and operating this blog I have heard just about every excuse in the book. The simple truth is those that desire to get ahead and succeed, do. Meanwhile, those who want to make themselves feel better about not moving forward will continue to draw from their book of excuses. There really isn’t a gray area. You either do or you don’t.
Right now is the best time to start making small changes in your life. Want to lose weight? Eliminate sodas as your first small step. Want to pay down debt? Stop buying Starbucks as your first small step. Do you want to be more organized? Begin making your bed every morning as your first small step. Now is your time for victory. Now is your time to succeed. Now is the time you begin to believe in yourself.
Simply start now.
Tessa has another page called Always a Writer!!
My sister, Myra, is always getting me in some kind of trouble with my friends. Today she promised all of us she would use the Ouija board to give us “readings from beyond.”
How bad could that be? Sounded like fun to me.
We gathered at the arranged time, Myra, my 3 friends and I. The board was already set up. Myra sat there, the queen of drama.
Myra instructed us to put out hands lightly and touch the planchette. No pushing allowed. She would be the guide.
She went into some kind of ecstasy, a trance of sorts, and the planchette began to move. “I know what you did,” it spelled out. An intake of breath from all of us including Myra.
“You will be punished,” came next from the planchette.
We didn’t wait any longer and pushed away from the table and ran screaming.
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It’s the Meet and Greet weekend!!
Ok so here are the rules:
- Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
- Reblog this post. It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!
- Edit your reblog post and add tags.
Feel free to leave your link multiple times! It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want. It is up to you!
- Share this post on social media. Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.
Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and Meet and Greet your tails off!
See ya on Monday!!
I am pleased to welcome the latest blogger to become a Dream Big Partner: Aria-Bella Rises:
Here is an excerpt from the Aria-Bella Rises About page:
My name is Julia, otherwise known as Aria-Bella and this is my blog about my spiritual journey and everything in between as I navigate this human life. By writing about the highs and the lows, I am hoping to inspire others, give them a feel good moment,maybe a few aha moments as well as well as make them realise they are not alone.
I hope you enjoy your time here at Aria-Bella Rises
You will find the Julia’s logo in my sidebar for easy access and on the Dream Big Partner’s page at the top of my web page so be sure to check out her page and tell her Danny sent you!
You need to follow Aria-Bella Rises!!!!
I am sure most of you have heard about past lives and how they can affect you now – positively and negatively. That you have been here time and time again, learning lessons and having your soul grow from this.
For me this is also true, but it has a twist. You see, this is my first ever human incarnation. It is my first time walking Earth on two feet as a human, so how does it affect me if I do not have any past lives?
I may not have had any past lives but I have guided countless lives before joining Earth myself. I am a Guardian Angel who helped with their lives and then helped them cross over peacefully when the time came for their souls to go back.
As a Guardian Angel – it was my duty to help take some of the burden of the…
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