What Do You Do When Faced With a Big Decision?

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Danny

What Do You Do When Faced With a Big Decision?

Having options is supposed to be a great thing, right?!  But having options can create headaches as well, especially when an option presents itself unexpectedly.  And even more so when a great opportunity arises, but you are content in your current situation!

So what is one to do?

Any time I am presented with a big decision I tend to obsess for a short period of time and then I get to work on due diligence.  My first step is to mention the idea to my wife and get her gut reaction.  If her initial reaction is 100% negative I would probably not pursue or commit much time to consideration.  If her initial response is to ask questions then I begin step 2.

My second action is to make a pros and cons list.  I will make a couple lists, one for my current situation and one for the new opportunity.  This helps me weigh the opportunity versus current situation and assess whether it is worth considering.  The big question for me revolves around the idea of changing.  Do I feel like changing to this new thing or do I want to stay where am I doing what I’m doing?

The third thing I do is assess the risk.  If I were to take part in anything new in my life, what is the worst case scenario?  If this new thing were not to work out, what could happen negatively.  Could I end up homeless?  Could I lose my life?  Would I have to start over and rebuild?  The possibilities could be endless, but honestly there aren’t too many decisions that are truly life-and-death.  So for me, risk assessment has to do with security, safety and progress.  Will this new opportunity compromise the security of my family?  Will it put me or my family in harm’s way?   And will this new thing hinder or help our progress?

Fourth for me, I will bring these facts and thoughts back to Evelina and we will talk on a deeper level.  At this point the decision-making process becomes less objective and more subjective.

The last step is to ask myself if this new project “feels” right.  It is difficult to put into words what feeling right means.  It is a gut intuition.  If the decision doesn’t feel right then I run in the opposite direction.  If it does feel right AND I have gone through the process of due diligence then we move forward and consider saying “yes”.

Sometimes good opportunities happen at the wrong time and sometimes the timing is perfect.  I think the key is keeping your mind open to all possibilities.  Remember, there was a moment when Bill Gates could have said “No thanks, I’m not interested.”  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be the guy who says no to a possible life-changing opportunity!

Have a safe and happy Wednesday!

Danny

Why Should Anyone Care About Your Blog Posts?

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Danny

Why Should Anyone Care About Your Blog Posts?

On occasion I’ll get someone email me and ask how to get more eyes on their posts.  The common belief is that if more people see my posts, then they will view and more views will create more buzz and buzz will get me followers.  I disagree completely and here’s why…

The concept of mass exposure is an old idea.  In the old days companies had limited avenues through which to deliver their message-newspaper, radio, television, etc.  The marketing concept was to throw a giant blanket over a gigantic population base and see what results might come.  The other change in message delivery relates to the expectation of the recipients.  Today’s consumer is much more educated and more inundated with content.  The online world is flooded with too many messages from so many sources to the point that people have become somewhat blind to any messages at all.

Today’s marketing is different and bloggers must think differently.  In today’s market the focus is on relevancy and until you understand this key you will continue to struggle.  If a message is not relevant to the population, then people simply will not care.  If people don’t care, then they will not buy your message; they will not consume your product.  And it is this fact that most bloggers miss.

The truth is you don’t need the masses of asses.  You need specific followers who care about the types of topics of which you write.  If you write about being a vegetarian, then your ideal reader is going to be someone who is already a vegetarian or someone who is considering becoming a vegetarian.  Carnivores who are dead-set in their ways might read a single article, but they are probably not going to return each day to read your content.  So maybe a more strategic and effective plan will be to find other vegetarians.

This might seem like common sense, but I see this common failure in thinking everyday in business.  Business owners who want more customers think they need everyone and this is false.  They need the right “ones” as I like to say.  You need loyalty not one-time purchases.  You want people who return time after time to consume what it is that you are selling.

And it is the same with a blog.  Ask yourself, “Who is the person who is more apt to return each day to read what it is that I write?”.  Once you find that person then you need to find more of those types and build a loyal tribe.  If you produce quality content and put it in front of the right types of people, then you will have the highest likelihood of converting them into following you.  If they are not, then you have to judge your content.

Remember, people engage because they believe the same things you believe.

Some have also asked me about my tribe.  My tribe is made up of bloggers who are looking to connect with others so I created a “hub” where people on WordPress could meet others and possibly connect in order to grow their page.  It is a mutually symbiotic relationship.  A sub-set of my tribe is made up of people who are interested in growing personally and professionally which is why I post about my personal experiences of reaching my goals.  I seek out people interested in personal growth.  I have followers I’ve met via other personal development blogs.  I have followers who found me through personal growth pages on Facebook.  And I have followers who discovered my page via my SEO tactics on search engines.

The change in ideology needed is understanding your ideal audience which means you must get specific, not general.  Why would you spend your time advertising home owner’s insurance to people who do not own homes versus advertising to people who currently own a home?   The easier and more likely conversion is to current home owners.  Does anything I’m saying make sense?

A wrestling blog will be comprised mainly of people who enjoy wrestling.  A knitting blog will be comprised of people who are interested in knitting.  A cooking blog will be comprised mainly of people who enjoy cooking and recipes.

You can spend all of your energy trying to get people who don’t care to care.  And the risk is that those people might never care and you will be left with an empty energy tank.  Why not  find people who are already interested in what it is that interests you and then connect?

Just a thought…

Danny

Caution, Your Actions Can Hit You Like a Boomerang!

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Danny

Caution, Your Actions Can Hit You Like a Boomerang

A few years back Evelina worked part-time for this furniture store in Charlotte.  I was operating my vintage furniture business then and this guy (we will call him John) was one of my clients.  He mentioned to me that he needed reliable help selling in the store so I recommended Evelina.  It was a great part-time job for her while she finished law school and he paid her commission on sales which was really nice.

But as Evelina became more involved in his business she learned some things about his business practices which made us both hesitant.  First, he was not paying taxes.  Second, he was paying all of his employees under-the-table wages.  And, third, his store was not up to code for some of the painting and varnishing work being conducted.

At any rate the guy turned out to be someone we didn’t want to associate so Evelina quit and I stopped selling him furniture.  Which at the time was a big deal as he was my largest buyer, sometimes buying 30 pieces of furniture per month.  But for us the decision was an easy one.  Of course he refused to give Evelina her final paycheck and we didn’t choose to fight the battle, just wanted him out of our lives.

I tell you this because yesterday I got curious and looked him up on Facebook.  What I found didn’t surprise me.  His FB business page was shut down and as of July he was out of business.  Several local television news channels had run stories on him because he closed his doors while owing a lot of people money for inventory and owing customers money and product.

We filed a complaint years ago with the local tax office explaining to them that he was not paying taxes, but nothing was ever done.  I was a bit annoyed at this because I wanted vindication.  I wanted bad things to happen to this guy.  I know I’m not supposed to think like that, but I was mad and I’m being honest.

Now his actions have come around and hit him square in the forehead like a perfectly thrown boomerang!  He is being investigated by the Department of Justice which was a huge shock to me and lets me know he was doing some pretty shady things to get in that much trouble.

It just goes to show that it is better to conduct yourself with integrity than to cut corners and treat people poorly.  I hope he ends up in jail because he deserves to serve time.

Danny

When You Know the Right Thing To Do, But You Don’t…

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Danny

When You Know the Right Thing To Do, But You Don’t…

We have all been in a situation where we are trying to make a decision or a friend asks for advice and the right choice is obvious.  Often times the right thing to do is right in front of us we just don’t want to admit it or the right choice means going down a difficult road.  This happens often in sales and usually has something to do with us screwing something up and we have to call the client and admit our mistake.  Some reps want to hide details or even pass along the blame to a “corporate” mistake.

Doing the right thing should always be the first choice.  It isn’t always the easiest route and it isn’t always the most comfortable choice, but it should always be the choice.  When you know the right thing to do but you don’t do it then you bring in a whole new set of issues and problems.  It’s almost like opening Pandora’s box.  Then once the box is open you realize it would have been easier to just do the right thing from the beginning.

So here’s my policy…always do the right thing no matter what.  People will have more respect for you in the end.

Danny

The Hidden Pain of One Man’s Talent

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Danny

The Hidden Pain of One Man’s Talent

Many years ago I knew a man who had an incredible talent.  He knew the words to almost every song that ever came on the radio, especially 80’s music.  And it didn’t matter the genre!  Rap, pop, country, rock.  He could sing the words as if he wrote the songs.

One day we were having lunch and I was explaining to him how I admired his talent for remembering so many lyrics to so many songs.  When I asked him how he knew so many he began to talk to me about his childhood and I quickly realized there was a lot of pain behind his talent.

Come to find out the reason he knew so many songs was because the radio was his only friend growing up.  When other kids were outside playing he wasn’t, he was listening to the radio.  He didn’t have friends and got picked on a lot so he learned to avoid people and listen to songs.  I guess in a way music became his escape.

I had forgotten about this guy until this past week when for some reason his story popped in my mind.

There are times when we look at someone and we envy some aspect of their life.  We admire talents from the outside, but we often forget about the sacrifice behind the talent.  Sometimes talents are the facade covering up pain.  And it isn’t until we have a deeper look that we realize we should be slow to envy.

I have had coworkers say they wished they were as organized as I am, but I wouldn’t wish my curse on anyone.  My obsessive compulsion creates more stress inside my body than I would wish on my enemy.

I think the best practice is to be the best version of ourselves that we can be and keep our envy at a minimum.

Just a quick thought for a Monday.

Danny

There’s Way Too Much Average in the World

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Danny

There’s Way Too Much Average In the World…

I see it every day.  People going about their business, waking up, making the donuts, going home and doing it all over again the next morning.  Many people move through life like a zombie not expecting much more of themselves than doing what is required to make it through each day.  I don’t think like that.  I don’t allow myself to accept the status quo and I challenge you to think the same.

Life wants to beat you into submission and most often it occurs through the words of others.  People will try to convince you that your goals are not “realistic” or “practical”.  When kids are young they say they want to be an astronaut or President and most people will tell them, parents included, that they should aim a little lower because there aren’t a lot of astronauts or only one person can be President.  Kids then grow up seeing other people working normal jobs and they decide they will become an accountant instead of an astronaut.

We learn so much by watching the world around us and sometimes this is a bad thing.  We learn to take the safe route.  We learn that dream living is only for kids, not for adults.  Banking is realistic.  Accounting is realistic.  Mid-level management is realistic.  Being an astronaut, not so much.   Being the CEO of the bank is not realistic.  Becoming the President of the United States is not realistic.

We learn to think average and to expect average.  But what if we changed the way we think and changed what it is that we expect from life?

Last night I voiced a new dream I have with Evelina and we agreed that we wanted it.  So now we (I) are revolutionizing our thinking and our mental preparation to achieve our new lofty financial goals so that this new dream comes true.  If I told most people what this dream is they would poo poo it so I am not telling anyone except my wife and it will stay that way.

Don’t let other people put their limitations on you.  Don’t accept limits.  Don’t accept average thinking.  Dream big.  Plan big.  Prepare big.  And be ready to work hard to make your dreams come true.  When someone tells you it cannot be done, then dig in even harder.

Hope you have a great Wednesday friends.

Danny

I Can’t Make You Want It…

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Danny

I Can’t Make You Want It…

I had one single goal when I started blogging and that was to pass along some of the things that I did to turn my life around.  Prior to November 2014 I considered myself an underachiever.  I would wake up each day and whatever happened, happened.  For the most part life happened to me, not the other way around.  But then I underwent a transformation.  I spent a year completely redesigning my habits and my thoughts to change careers and find more success.  I restructured my thoughts so that I happened to life, not the inverse.  I stopped drinking alcohol, stopped watching television, started watching what foods I ate, started reading books to help me expand my mind, and most importantly, started making my bed each morning first thing.

All of my habit changes changed the way I looked at the world, but it also changed how I saw myself in the world.  I began to envision the result I wanted to achieve.  I began seeing myself in a successful position and eventually a new career opportunity presented itself and I scooped it up.

The key was I made up my mind that I would change.  But I can’t make others want to change the way they see themselves in the world.  I believe you can create your own ending, that you can write the script you want.  Then combine that with preparation and hard work and you can transform your life into what you desire.  The catch is you have to believe it, I can’t believe it for you.  I learned this principle from the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

I consider myself fortunate that my eyes were opened to this fact and I want so badly for others to realize it also.  But it is not up to me and I cannot make people rethink their existence.  Each person has to live their own life and all I can do is talk about my experience and hope that one other person experiences the awakening I experienced.

And for that reason I type each morning hoping that my story might help someone in some small way.

As Bob Wiley said “Baby steps onto the elevator.”

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Danny

Is It Possible To Be Ultra-Successful and Have Balance?

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Danny

Is It Possible To Be Ultra-Successful and Have Balance?

Have you read or heard people talking about having work-life balance?  I have and I’m not sure I buy the concept.  In my experience it is the proverbial situation in which you can’t eat your cake and have it too.  Maybe I’m wrong, but I haven’t witnessed a lot of ultra-successful people who have a lot of balance; professional athletes come to mind.

We make sacrifices every day we get up and go to work.  We decide that paying bills and providing for our family is worth leaving them for 8-10 hours.  We give up that time in order to get ahead.

But when I look at CEOs, professional athletes, entrepreneurs, etc. I don’t see a lot of balance.  I see a group of people that work hard to achieve their goals and sacrifice a lot of personal time in order to do so.  Typical entrepreneurs are not taking 3-4 vacations per year, but they are working a lot of nights and weekends totaling 70 hour weeks.

I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it.  At the end of life I have to believe that they wish they had spent more family time.  Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe they do not regret all of the personal time sacrifices.

I don’t know.

The one thing I do know is that if anyone wants to achieve a goal, tremendous sacrifice will be required.

Danny

Stop Smiling for Every Damn Picture You Take or Someone Takes of You!

Lifting Taboos

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I grew up in a family where the outside was more important than the inside. It didn’t matter how much sexual, emotion, physical, verbal, spousal, sibling, or narcissistic abuse was in the home. It didn’t matter if incontinence pervaded the family, night terrors prevented us children from getting a good night’s sleep, 20+ dogs barked all night making a peaceful sleep impossible, exotifying of the adopted kids made us feel uncomfortable and took over our lives.

What mattered was what people saw on the outside.

“Say Cheese!” we heard our parents say. Even if we were not feeling it. Even if our lower parts hurt because we were being molested.

It didn’t matter that our ear lobes hurt because our father would pull them super hard if we didn’t listen. It didn’t matter that our noses hurt because we were forced to place our noses on the refrigerator for long…

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Emergency – Word of the Day Challenge

Cyranny's Cove

The Word of the Day is Emergency Please create a pingback to your post by including a link to this page in whatever you are posting. If you want to participate create a pingback to link your post. Not sure how to do that? See how to create pingbacks here. https://en.support.wordpress.com/comments/pingbacks/

via EMERGENCY — Word of the Day Challenge

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Happy 174th Birthday Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Waldina

Today is the 174th birthday of the man that originated the quote “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Nietzsche. A lot of his quotes ring true with me and I have placed them throughout his biography below. The world is a better place because he is in it and still feels the loss that he has left.

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NAME: Friedrich Nietzsche
OCCUPATION: Philosopher, Scholar
BIRTH DATE: October 15, 1844
PLACE OF BIRTH: Röcken bei Lützen, Germany
DEATH DATE: August 25, 1900
PLACE OF DEATH: Weimar, Germany
CAUSE OF DEATH: Cancer – Brain
REMAINS: Buried, Röcken Kirchhof, Röcken, Germany
EDUCATION: University of Bonn, University of Leipzig, Domgymnasium, Schulpforta
ASTEROID NAMESAKE: 7014 Nietzsche

BEST KNOWN FOR: Influential German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is known for his writings on good and evil, the end of religion in modern society and the…

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5 Signs You’re Actually the Toxic One in a Friendship (Goalcast.com)

juantetcts

If you’ve ever had a toxic friend, you know just how difficult and draining it can be.

There are different kinds of toxicity, from energy vampires all the way to the far end where the abusers, narcissists and sociopaths exist. But every kind of toxic person creates a burden that can be difficult to overcome.

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But what about when the problem is not the other person but it’s you?

Sometimes, when toxicity is more subtle, like the overbearing negativity of someone who has recently had their dreams crushed or the miserable loner who takes the anger they feel for their ex out on everyone they meet, it’s hard to notice.

Plus, toxicity is contagious, and when you’re infected, you become toxic yourself.

You may have noticed your friends distancing themselves from you recently, maybe one of them has even called you out directly. Maybe you can recall a…

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Summer to Fall Transition Lookbook!

RAFA FARIHAH

Here it is! The back to school fall lookbook everyone has been waiting for. I spent forever filming this in the heat so I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you think in the comments below. Check back in a few hours and I should have all the outfit links in the description box. Please give it a thumbs up! Subscribe if you haven’t!

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10 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Lose Weight ~ Healthline.com

The Purple Almond

As someone who is in the nutrition field as a profession AND trying to desperately lose weight on a personal level, I know just how hard it can be to stay motivated on the journey to health and happiness. I recently took a “vacation”, which also led to a “vacation” from my weight loss regime. I’ll talk more about that in my Fit by 50 journal. Suffice it to say, I’m starting from scratch and looking for motivation, the perfect topic for today’s “Walk to wellness” article.

fit-woman-making-smoothie-thumb source: healthline.com

I set out to research the topic and found a ton of information. This article from healthline.com, is perfect, and includes 16 ways to say motivated. I’m going to summarize my 10 favorite ways below. (1)

  1. Have realistic expectations: I’ve had problems with this area before. As tempting as it is to set lofty weight loss goals, with…

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