I have an opinion about life and success with which I know a lot of people disagree. I know this because every time I have stated my opinion I get countless emails telling me how wrong I am.
There are many levels to success-losing weight, making more money, being a better parent, becoming more organized, etc. My opinion is that those who do not succeed simply do not try hard enough. I can hear the roars now, but stop for a moment and think about your failures or shortcomings. Those things you truly desired you worked hard and reached your goal. Those things you didn’t achieve you had waning desire and did not work as hard. I have experienced it and so have you.
So when I get emails from readers asking why they haven’t been able to achieve a certain goal I always ask them about their effort level. And this is the time when people get defensive when they should really be focusing on introspection. I’ll give you an example.
Several months ago I posted that I would be closing my furniture business and beginning the search for a new career path. And that process was frustrating as the good jobs seemed to be far and few between. One day I was lamenting to Evelina and she questioned my effort level. To her it didn’t seem as though I was committing myself 100%, yet I was complaining about the difficulty in finding a new job. Of course I was immediately defensive, but after I had spent some time thinking about what she had said I realized she was correct. The following week I decided to commit 8 hours every day to finding a new career and to send out 10 resumes every day until I found employment. Soon I was contacted by the newspaper and after a few interviews I had found my new work family.
I did not like listening to the harshness of her words, but my wife was correct. I had spent a couple of months half-assing my job search and my results reflected my efforts. Once I was honest with myself and upped my efforts my results changed completely. In past posts I have used the phrase “change your mind, change your life” and this is exactly what happened to me.
So any time someone says to me “I have been trying to lose weight, but I just can’t seem to remain committed” the first thing I think of is desire and effort. There are many things one can do to stay committed like joining a support group, Weight Watchers or sessions with a counselor. If someone wants to make more money or get a better job they can take night classes to further their education and become more qualified. Sometimes your best isn’t going to be enough and you need to learn to invest in the help of an expert(s). This is where many people fail because they get to the end of their knowledge and when that isn’t enough, they quit. You have to push through. Those who want to achieve will utilize every and all resources to get what they want. If you need to lose weight and you can’t seem to get over the hump, then go speak with a counselor and get it sorted. If you want that job, but can’t beat out the competition, then go take night classes and get some additional education. I can hear a few of you saying these words are easy to say but not easy to do. The truth is it’s not easy and that’s why many of you fail and quit.
Ultimately you can do anything you want to do. The factors involved will be desire and effort. You have to find the thing(s) you really want and then work your tail off to get those things. But sitting around and paying lip service does nothing and at some point you are going to have to exhaust every possible resource to get what you want and if you don’t it falls directly on you and no one else. For many this personal responsibility is hard to accept, but it does not change the truth in this principle. The difficulty for me is I cannot implant desire into other people and I cannot convince others of this truth. Personal responsibility is one of those things that each person must learn for themselves.
Those who get results simply out work and out desire everyone else-period.
It would be easy for me to use MS as my reason for not doing a lot of things and not one person would challenge me. I could sit around every day, claim a disability check and ride out the rest of my life. But I don’t want that life. So I choose to work hard toward specific goals I have set for myself. I choose hard work over pain. I choose achieving my goals over making excuses. My body hurts every day I get home. I am overtaken some days with exhaustion.
The pain becomes a heavy burden, but I would rather deal with the pain that comes from taking action than become a person who allows excuses to rob me of achieving. Eventually you have to try harder.