I originally published this several months back, but thought it would be a good revisit for newer readers of the Dream Big community. Enjoy!!
Have you ever wondered what your funeral will be like? I know it sounds a little depressing and maybe a bit morbid, but I can’t help but wonder what people will say about me when I’m gone. A few years back I had a tough run as I lost 5 friends and a cousin in a 12 month period. I remember the conversations where everyone talked about the deceased and told funny stories to make the pain feel less. Death usually hits me hard as I tend to over-analyze life and mortality sends me into hyper-over-analysis-of-the-meaning-of-everything-and-anything! Needless to say it took a very long time to recover from that year, that is assuming I have.
But listening to people talk at funerals makes me think about what type of person I want to work to be now, so that folks are saying quality things once I’m gone. I want to be known as a hard working, self-made man. Honest, fair, kind, fun, giving, a listener and loving. I want to be known as a friend. I want my wife to say I was a great husband, mate and best friend. So if those are the qualities that I want to be associated with, I have to live my life in an honest, fair, fun and loving way!
And if I want my wife to say I was a great husband and friend then I must focus on practicing the qualities that will make me a good mate. Most of us want to be thought of as likeable, loving, kind, friendly, etc. and there are lots of nice people in the world. But, how often do we stop and take inventory of our actions to compare what we do, to the type of person we desire to be? It is not a good practice to trust your own view of yourself, to assume that you actually are as awesome as you see yourself! Learn to be self-aware and recognize areas that need changing and change!
If you want to be known as a giver, then you need to drop .50 cent in the can next time you pass someone in need. If you want your significant other or spouse to think of you as a great mate, you need to show patience, respect, stop acting poorly and start loving more.
Like lots of things in life, most people like the idea of achieving, but not the work associated. We want to be rich, but would prefer to hit the lottery. We want to be great parents, but prefer to vegg at the house versus play at the park. We would like to be our own boss, but are too afraid to take the risk to do so. We would like to be philanthropic, but make excuses as to how we have no time. It is very difficult to change, but it is change that is required!
I am a creature of deeply rooted routines that shape my days and help me focus. Recently, I have changed 3 major habits that fall into the “bad” category. One of these is complaining when my wife asks me to do something. It is such a habit that I didn’t realize when it was happening. To change this I decided to say yes to anything I was asked to do as soon as I was asked. I wanted to become a yes man before my mind had a chance to react negatively. I am getting better, but still have to focus and stay committed to changing my actions. Needless to say, I am a work in progress!
My goal has always been to help people realize how to be better, more successful, fulfilled individuals. Think about the type of person you want to be at the end of your journey and start making small adjustments to your attitude and habits. Over time you can become that vision you see in your mind. Love more, give more, help more, hug more, support more, hold more…these are all good traits to start with.