Seek To Add Value To Your World

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I could not stay away!  I was going to wait till tomorrow to post, but I had a thought and had to share!

I speak with readers and writers throughout the week and it is so gratifying to talk and converse and meet so many different types of people.  Meeting people is my favorite aspect of what I do.  One of the most common questions or dilemmas that is put to me is “How do I live a fulfilled life?”  And as I was sitting in the kitchen eating lunch the answer came to me with sudden clarity.

Most people seek fulfillment or seek to live a fulfilled life.  And this fulfillment desire is one of selfishness.  The truth in fulfillment is exactly the opposite of what most people think.  I propose the idea that in order to be fulfilled one must learn to do for others and focus less on self.

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There exists a truth in every human being, a true self, if you will.  I am talking about the You that speaks during the honest, soul emptying moments with friends or therapists, not the You that plays the part in the movie called Your Life.  Not the you that is always “fine” or the you that envies, lusts, desires, yearns, hates, etc.  This You looks to the outside world and desires for material things.  This You wants things, success, acceptance, love.  This You focuses on itself and its needs, wants, desires.

My belief is that until you put this You in its place and begin living a life focused on adding value to the world around you, you will not experience any type of fulfillment.  You must convert your thinking to that of a servant.  You must begin to help others.  You must deny yourself and devote your life to helping, giving, loving others above yourself.

Until this happens you will continue to seek that which you cannot have.  Some use the word “happiness,” but I refuse to use this word.  Happiness refers to an emotion and is not a state of being.  Happiness comes and happiness goes.  I have written in the past about my views on happiness, Stop Trying to Be Happy.  Fulfillment is the objective as it is unaffected by our mood or emotional state.  I can be sad that someone dies, but still live a fulfilled life.  I can be angry that someone has stolen my car, yet still be fulfilled.

Fulfillment can only be found when you step out of focusing on yourself and step into a world of focusing on others.  Find a way to add value to your world.  Volunteer your time at a local nursing home.  Sign up to be a Big Brother or Big Sister.  Register to be a driver for Meals on Wheels.  Serve lunch at the homeless shelter.  Volunteer to sweep the floors at the Battered Women’s Shelter.

Take your life and devote it to helping.

When you find a way to add value to the world around you,  you will no longer need to find fulfillment, fulfillment will find you.

50 thoughts on “Seek To Add Value To Your World”

    • I must say when I started the Dream Big project I did so to help others, but did not start off with this “help others” principle in mind. As I spent time writing the idea developed. My life changed when I started this blog to help others find whatever success they needed or wanted in their life. My mission is to help others from a place of sincerity and honesty and the rewards are amazing. I cannot tell you the number of nights that my wife and I have cried or laughed from an email or message from a reader. Fulfillment is an understatement!

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  4. I may not be easy trying to understand the world and in the grand scheme of things not very important. But what is important is understanding yourself. Why do I do the things that I do and why do I think about things this way? Find yourself and you will find the keys to the universe! Billy

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  6. Thanks Danny for writing this post. I was just thinking something on those lines myself these last few days.
    Two days back, I was asked or it was thrust upon me to vet a progress report for one of my colleagues who had taken a break from work. I did it about half way, and then realised I am doing it for someone who is always in this type of trouble and I seem to be always bailing her out. ( See how evil thoughts come into one’s brain). And then I tried to find ways to get out of submitting the report( the deadline was 12 pm the next day and the next day was the weekend off for us. I tried every trick in the book to get out of vetting that report but finally my ego gave in and I submitted it just before I left for home that day.
    Two days in a row now, I have been thinking about how to bring this issue up at a departmental meeting and find a solution to this recurring issue.
    Today, it struck me that as a Christian, I needed to go the extra mile, show the other cheek or share more than what I have in order to call myself a true follower.
    So I have decided not to do anything about it and to do it again if need be.
    Thank you for putting things in perspective for me, with this post. You will never know whose life you have touched, Danny.
    Susie

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  7. Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s how I have ALWAYS found a solid sense of fulfillment! Even now, faced with my diagnosis, I still am soldiering on and seeking to help others. I am in cahoots with my sister in law to help her launch a MASSIVE new charity for military vets that she and her partner are singlehandedly funding. Talk about fulfilling!!! My hubby and I will get to be the caretakers for the 500 acre facilities (I will be involved so long as I am still around) and our son will get to grow up in an environment doing something that he loves. I have never been more excited about something in my life!

    So Danny, even though I am dying, I am still utterly and completely fulfilled by the involvement in the project to help out our military veterans. You are 100% correct in this post my brother! Xoxo Melanie

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  9. I agree with this and have been taking action to do exactly this and get out of my own head this week. Being in the moment can be difficult when we have so many responsibilities, I took a step back & was fulfilled (and yes, momentarily Happy as well…but agreed this is not the goal) to stop & do for my girls, giving fully of myself. Time of course being the most valuable gift to give others.

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  11. Great article with beautiful thoughts. Real happiness is in seeing and feeling others to be happy. When you become a means of providing happiness and a better living atmosphere to others, you will be experiencing the real bliss.

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  14. The idea of stopping trying to be happy is spot on, I feel. It’s hard to break this self habit, but I’m going to try following your advice. In my case I’m going to work hard at my art and help to spread joy that way. Doing, rather than thinking about doing……

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    • Too many people think that happiness is their goal. and if they are not happy all the time they email me asking what is wrong with their life. When did we develop this ridiculous idea that we should expect to be happy all the time? Makes no sense to me.

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  15. Happy is not in my vocabulary. I don’t know the meaning. I grew up with uncontrolled Bipolar Disordered. Someone (maybe it was even you) explained the meaning of fulfillment and that is what this blog is doing for me. I am trying to help others and if I can figure out other ways to do it I will help win the war against stigma. Fulfilling not happy.

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