A Friday Thought…

Today is a sad day in my family.  My Grandmother, who we affectionately refer to as Maw Maw, passed away on Monday and we will lay her to rest this afternoon.  She was a kind southern woman who would dish out discipline without hesitation; with love of course!  I have great memories of her and laugh often remembering funny stories as she loved, loved, loved to laugh!

I do not like funerals.  I don’t like the way people act; quiet, whispering, awkward.  And as I prefer to laugh and cut up, funerals are my kryptonite.  Death is not an easy event to deal with as we are not exactly sure what happens after life ends.  We try to reassure ourselves with the idea that something amazing occurs, but I have no idea.

The ancient Hebrews and early Christians like Paul believed that the soul went to a place called Hades after death; kind of soul waiting room.  Some Eastern thought has the life-energy (soul) reformed and reborn into this world until the soul experiences enlightenment.  A later Christian theology has the soul skipping Hades and moving straight into heaven.

It really doesn’t matter what happens.  For us, that person is simply gone.  And we are left to ponder the meaning of life, the meaning of death, ourselves and what happens after death.

Time has a way of healing.  Eventually, we forget the small things about someone, then we forget the sound of their voice, then details of the face.  It is natural.  It is the brains way of protecting us from the pain; by slowly scrubbing our memory of details.  Time heals right?!

As you go about your day, take a few moments and thank someone, hug someone, have your emotions moved.  My thoughts immediately go to the words of Jimmy Valvano as he received the Arthur Ashe Award in 1993:

When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it’s the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.

Jim Valvano died shortly after this speech from cancer.

Laugh, think, have your emotions moved to tears.  I am sure I will have all 3 covered today.


R.I.P Maw Maw



54 thoughts on “A Friday Thought…

  1. In your Grandmother’s Death you might be consoled to think of it has her birthday. I don’t like funerals either – don’t go – the one I went to as a child for my beautiful aunt Carol was one of the worst days of my entire life. Being with my cocker spaniels Sam and Blondie when they left for the rainbow bridge and my husbands Grandma Patty are the only times I’ve been with a loved one in death – still in their bodies. Almost soul crusingly painful. I prefer to remember those I’ve lost as I remember them in the best of our times together. It is in those memories I hear their voices – laughter, remember holding their hands- their warmth. Time and a great pair of walking shoes have been one of the best healers – being with the best therapist in the World…Momma nature. She’s large enough to take on the greatest of sorrows. One day at a time Dray…hugs, love and light to you today.

  2. Oh Danny my dear brother, I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m weeping from your pain. I can feel it from this far away. Nothing that I can say will make things better nor will they make this easier. Just kiss your beautiful wife, hold your family tight, remember the fun times that you had with your maw maw and try to seek solace in something that brings you happiness once the funeral has ended. In my family we just never have funerals. We throw parties. That way it’s okay to laugh, cry, drink, eat, swap crazy stories, and be rowdy and raucous. But every family grieves differently and everyone has their own set of customs. I’m sending you love and hugs from Minnesota. Be well my dear friend. ♡ Melanie

  3. My deepest condolences with you and your family, a loss is always hard, emotionally as well as physically. May you have the strength to cope with this, and may she rest in peace.

  4. I hate funerals too. Our family tradition is to hold a (much less formal) memorial instead. My mother threatened to get up and walk out if we held a funeral for her. We didn’t, but it would have been worth it to see her one more time.

    Sympathy for your loss.

  5. So sorry Danny. Death is never easy. I love your post. It is so true. Death stirs up so many thoughts and emotions and for a small time, a few seconds in time, we remember what matters. We want to live better and love better as we are reminded tomorrow is never guaranteed. I do believe those three things are so important. It’s those days, when you are moved so deeply, that stay etched in your memory forever. I will be thinking about you and your family today. Rest in peace Maw Maw.

  6. That’s a great quote. I hope you and your family find peace. I lost my grandmother to cancer 14 years ago come October. I dream of her often. I dream of her playing with my kids, whom she never met. I think it’s her way of looking after me and letting me know she’s happy and well, wherever she is. I’m grateful for the dreams, at any rate.

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