I want you to be determined and resolute in your mind that 2016 is going to be your Year of Growth. I want you to visualize in your mind the goals you want to achieve. I want you to feel the success. I want you to feel the emotion of being scared. I want to feel the excitement of beginning your journey. I want you to conjure up the emotions that success will bring and feel them.
All of these are things that I practice daily in my goal achievement. You must see it, feel it, know it and hold it well before you actually have it!!
These mental habits will help you on your goal quest. But, there are mentalities that many of us have developed that will not simply hinder this process, but they will destroy your chance of success.
I have compiled a list of 13 destructive mindsets I know will keep you from making 2016 Your Year of Growth. Be extremely careful and honest with yourself as you read this list. If you have any of these qualities in you, then begin the process of exorcising them immediately!
- Focusing on your past. Too many people are so focused on their past life that they are incapable of looking to the future. This doesn’t only pertain to failures. Your future can also be hindered by reminiscing too much on past good times. The past is the past; leave it there.
- Feeling as if life owes you. Let me be clear about this point: LIFE OWES YOU NOTHING! Feeling entitled will get you zero success; only disappointment can result. You must expect nothing for free, develop a plan and work with determination to create the life you want.
- Comparing yourself to others. This is one mentality that I lived for years and it left me empty and feeling inadequate. Drop this mentality immediately, determine what you want and what is important to you, not other people.
- Being a people pleaser. Stop striving to make other people happy or to make them like you. This is one that I have been guilty of in the past as well. It leads to insecurity and underachieving.
- Thinking there is a “right” time. There is no better time than the present to begin designing your life. I always say, “If you’re waiting on me, you’re backing up.” Because I am moving forward at warp speed. Break the mindset that there is a “perfect” time as it does not exist. This perception will leave you with regrets.
- Focusing on the negative. Thinking positively does not mean wearing rose colored glasses. I have converted myself to a more positive thinker over the last couple of years from an extremely negative thinker. I used the “I’m not negative, I’m a realist” statement often and it was a lie. I was lying to myself and my negative thinking and negative outlook directly contributed to my underachieving, negative life results.
- Perfectionism. Expecting to be perfect is causing you to procrastinate, waste time, use valuable energy and miss opportunities. Being diligent and vetting opportunities is one thing, but often times perfectionism delays the process and could cause you to miss the chance of a lifetime.
- Blaming others. When I managed people, I had very little respect for my employees that were quick to pass the buck. Blaming others robs you of taking personal responsibility and then learning from your mistake!!!! And it is only when we take responsibility that we can move forward. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PLACE IN LIFE; YOU! The more you deny this, they longer you will flounder.
- Allowing your habits to run wild. The one single action that turned my life around was designing the list of habits I knew I needed in my life to gain the success I wanted to achieve and then implementing those habits. I designed specific skills and habits that I knew would give me a greater chance of achieving my goals. I did not leave it up to chance. Do not allow life to run you, but run your life.
- Avoiding risk at all costs. Playing it safe will get you exactly what you deserve; an average life. At some point if you want to be more than a paycheck to paycheck person you are going to have to take risk. Small risk produces small results like a small fire produces small heat.
- Surrounding yourself with weak minded people. I could talk about this for years. I feel as though I am beating a dead horse by including this but I cannot omit a conversation about the company you keep. I want you to take inventory of your friends. Take a look at their lives; not necessarily the money they make, but their habits. How much of their language is positive? How much do they drink alcohol? How often do they party? Are they goal oriented? Are they organized? Are they charitable? Do they encourage you to follow your dreams? Then…take a look at their success. Are they advancing or are they stagnant? Do they watch lots of television? Do they have a mind of overachieving? Are they complacent? Are they contributors? Do they use their time and money effectively? Do they have purpose in their lives? It is tough for some people to distance themselves from “friends” that are not positive, supportive, successful and goal-oriented. But sometimes it is necessary. Trust me when I say that the pig will get you dirty before you get it clean.
- Believing “if ____ happens, then I’ll be happy.” This is a very common mentality. If I can get a raise, then I’ll be able to pay my bills and have a little financial breathing room. Then life will be much easier. Or, if I could just get my debt paid down, I will be stress free. Or, if I could just find a good boyfriend or girlfriend, then I will be happy. Or, if I had a better job….if I had more friends….if I lived in a better house….if I lived in a different place….if I had a better education. The “if_____happens, then I’ll be happy” mindset will never lead to you finding the growth and fulfillment you desire. There will always be something on the horizon to take the last “if, then” statements place. You will spend your life chasing an unattainable goal and it will result in frustration and failure.
- Lying to yourself. I left this one for last for obvious reasons. You will never achieve what you want if you lie to yourself. Self-lies comes in many forms and usually results in blaming others, making excuses and refusing to take personal responsibility. In the end, lying to yourself is a defense mechanism to allow you to deflect fault or failures and relieve you of taking personal responsibility. Notice the common denominator? Take personal responsibility! “It’s not my fault.” “Well, if they hadn’t done this, then I wouldn’t have had to do such-n-such.” “No one ever gives me credit.” “I just can’t get ahead because I’m just not good enough.” If you want to move forward, start with being honest and dropping excuse making.These are 13 poor mindsets of many, but 13 I consider the most damaging. Stop dragging around these anchors and you are sure to move full steam ahead!!