Blog Tips, Advice and Blogging Strategy – 4/7/16

I received an email last Saturday that didn’t sit well with me at first, but I have taken several days to process the criticism.  So today I am going to write about emailing other bloggers and what I consider appropriate.

To begin, the email criticized me on two levels: writing syntax and my casual tone (notably my use of “lol”), especially in the light of considering myself an “expert in self- improvement/life skills.”  I spent several days thinking about the email and suffice it to say, the criticisms still are not sitting well, namely because I didn’t ask for them.  The criticism was volunteered which still baffles me and feels like someone calling only to tell me my dog is ugly and hanging up.

There are many ways to respond to criticism, but I choose two responses.  First, I always thank the person for taking the time to express their criticism.  I try to refrain from responding emotionally.  Secondly, I take a few days to read and reread the email.  Why?  I never assume I am right.  Especially when it comes to writing.  I am not an expert writer and I am comfortable with making a few mistakes here and there, although I work to limit the mistakes.  If you take criticism for what it is, evaluate yourself, judge the critical merits and then use the criticism to make yourself better, then you are being an adult. View criticism in the same light as a work evaluation; it isn’t always easy to hear, but can make you better if it has merit.

With all of that said, here is my advice to you should you feel the need to email another blogger and criticize their work/page/style.

DON’T.

It is not your place to be critical of another blogger’s style or page.  If you feel the need to do so, then simply stop following that blogger’s website or limit your interaction with said blogger.  And to be clear, my reference is to criticizing another’s writing ability or style, not a topic with which you disagree.

If you have followed my page for any length of time you will know I have never claimed to be an expert in any field, much less writing or personal development.  The truth is I am not even an expert in dealing with myself.  I have used my example of making errors and experiencing success as an example for others, should they choose to change.  I do not make claims about what I am, nor will I.

I am one man trying to make a difference in one other person’s life; that is all.

Don’t forget to take a few moments and visit my Partners’ pages located in the sidebar and connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr!

I learned a long time ago that I am not going to make a “fan” out of every person that visits my page.  I have friends that don’t like my page and I am okay with that fact.  You must learn this lesson if you are going to blog and blog honestly.

I will end by saying, if you ever find yourself emailing another blogger to discuss how they run their page (i.e. style, writing ability, syntax)…stop and delete your email. It is not your place and you will be out of line. Email about a particular post with which you disagree or email about a topic that you enjoyed. Don’t criticize style unless the blogger asks for your opinion.  Just my two cents.

 

122 thoughts on “Blog Tips, Advice and Blogging Strategy – 4/7/16

  1. I love the way you handled this situation without giving any real “airtime” to the criticizer. It is far too easy these days for people to say whatever comes to their minds without putting themselves into the place of the recipient and using appropriate filters. Unsolicited critiques given in a manner that is hurtful is not cool and only serve to bring people down rather than to build them up.

    Liked by 3 people

    • You bring up a good point that I don’t think about, which is the popular issue. I guess because I don’t see this page as being “popular” I miss that reason behind some emails. I guess some people just want to hate. Not sure why, but they do. Maybe it is envy?

      Like

  2. I know it stings to read emails like that, but I love the way you handled it! There are always going to be haters…I believe you are doing a great job and you are absolutely making a difference in many lives (including mine!) ~Leigh

    Liked by 2 people

    • Leigh, you have made my day. I will admit that I have received several emails since I started my Partners program, like the one I wrote about today. It seems as though there is a small segment of bloggers that hate I am defiling the sanctity of blogging by making a few dollars. The funny thing is I have made $90! lol By no means am I getting rich. I find it absurd.

      Like

  3. Very well said. I don’t take criticism very well. Though, just like you, I think why go out of your way to tell me only bad stuff? Maybe you just keep that to yourself or stop following me if you don’t like the way I write/post. You are awesome, keep doing what you are doing. I’m going to share this post 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Yep, completely agree with you Hugh. And good on you for not responding emotionally or straight away. Sometimes a bit of time to cool off is a good thing. But really, if someone doesn’t like our style, just stop following. I don’t really get it, but they’re obviously got too much time on their hands.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The honest truth is the emailer could have valid points and it is important to consider the merit. With that said, I would never write to another blogger and criticize their style, but that is just me.
      Danny

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Danny, as a fellow self help writer, I’d have a hard time receiving an email criticizing my writing style too!

    Appreciation of a personal style is, well personal! If someone doesn’t resonate with someone else’s style it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or the other person needs to change!

    I know I don’t resonate with a lot of people, but I write in the way that I know how to! If it doesn’t resonate with someone, then I’m probably not what they need!

    It would be impossible to write a one-size-fits-all style which everyone could relate to or connect with!

    I’m glad that you’re taking a negative experience and turning it into something everyone can benefit from! Kudos!

    Peace,
    Tamara

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I admire you for taking two days to stew about it. My fingers would be itching to get to the keyboard to answer that email. But you are wise to calm down first before answering. I need to work on that kind of patience and restraint.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have learned to valuable responses to emails…from Steve Pavlina I learned to type “you could be right” to emailers that I simply don’t want to continue a conversation, and “thank you for your input” from a friend of mine. So if you ever get one of those you immediately know that I am politely telling you to leave me alone. lol

      Liked by 1 person

  7. So remember when you were a kid and your mother would say, “If you can’t say anything nice…” I pretty much feel that way in this situation. But if I had to guess, I’d say this “emailer” was envious of your audience and reach. My guess is that person’s following is smaller than yours and rather than learn from you, he/she chose to put you down. File this under “ignore.” And, your $90? Feel the pride. You’ve just earned more than probably 90% of all bloggers!

    Liked by 2 people

      • It surprises me too. Blogging/freelance writing is not a charity, not necessarily a non-profit enterprise. I would think most bloggers, many of who are, like me, indie published authors trying to make a buck, would be happy to support anyone’s way to make a living. It’s not like you’re out there doing something despicable or illegal or even morally questionable! All of which, by the way, have nothing to do with your syntax!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow, Danny… I am just baffled as to why someone would even email such a letter. Who do they think they are anyway? You handled this extremely well. And thank you for the advice, although I would never do that to another blogger or writer for that matter. Have a great weekend, Danny.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lori, a wise friend of mine once told me “just because you have an opinion, doesn’t mean it’s right.” I always think about this when I am at a party listened to adults go back and forth. So few are interested in getting it right, they just want to be right. I don’t bother with most opinions as 90% of them are uninformed.
      Danny

      Liked by 1 person

  9. In my experience, perfectionist-people like to find fault. “Judgey” types, who should have had my Grandma saying to them like she to did me, at a young age, “Don’t be finding fault.” in her Irish lilt. I hear her saying that to me sometimes in my mind.
    It’s helped me become a good listener/reader.
    I have had a couple of people go off on me about my spelling errors. Another went off on a review I did of a restaurant that I liked. That one scared me because I could feel the deep anger in the words coming off the screen. In both cases I ignored them, deleted the responses and went on about my business.
    Thanks for sharing this moment in blogging.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is terrible. I don’t understand what motivates a person to do this sort of thing to another person besides the anonymity of being online and not face to face. I don’t believe that it’s useful or helpful to anyone to criticise anyone’s blog, writing, or give negative reviews on books. If you don’t want to read something, don’t read it. I’m really sorry this happened to you! Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

    • Alexis, I appreciate your thoughtful words. It has happened to me on many occasions in the past but this was a bit different as it wasn’t a response to one of my opinions. I don’t understand why people feel the need to share unsolicited advice or opinions.
      Danny

      Liked by 1 person

  11. IMHO (lol), there are two kinds of criticism, the kind intended to help, which I call constructive criticism, and the kind intended to hurt, which I call malicious criticism. I used to get horrible criticism, which I call “hate mail.” I never respond to hate mail. It doesn’t deserve a reply. If someone is reading my work and taking the time to write me, it means I’m being read — a good thing. Writers must have self-confidence. Without that, we cannot write at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sheila, I was glad to see your name pop up in the comments because there might not be another person I know more qualified to speak on this subject. I believe you have been a writer for many newspapers and have gotten your fair share of “hate mail.” And I agree wholeheartedly with your last statement about self-confidence. I came to the conclusion that I am going to have haters and I am okay with not winning over the entire world. Some people simply are not going to like me or what I write. It is inevitable. Thank you so much for jumping in a giving the perspective of a writing professional!
      Danny

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow that is such odd criticism, especially when most of the blogging world is casual with their writing. You can’t please everyone and props to you for dealing with it so well! I hope more people will double think emailing a blogger with negative opinions.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Well said Danny. I couldn’t agree with you more. I love the way you write and the fact that you are honest and stay true to who you are. That is one of the reasons you were among the very first people I followed.

    Shannon

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: 04.07.16 – End of Day Notes | As the Fates Would Have It

  15. What in the hell? Some people amaze me with their idiocy. If you wanted to hold the letter T down on the keyboard and post it that’s your right. We choose to read what we want, amazing the level of stupidity with people sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. First- LOL@someone calling only to tell me my dog is ugly and hanging up! That caught me by surprise and I really did laugh out loud at work.
    Second-I agree with everyone who said you handled it well, because you really did.
    There are several blogs I’ve stopped following because I didn’t agree with their content, either too negative or just plain annoying fonts that made their blog difficult to read. Mind you they did have a lot of followers and interaction on their page, but it wasn’t for me. So instead of calling to tell them their dog is ugly and hanging up(lo), I just unfollowed.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Excellent thoughts! Before advice is ever given one should think long and hard about why you want to give the advice, what advice you will give, and how. In most situations advice should be saved until it is asked – I say most as there are circumstances where giving advice may stop one from making life destroying decisions. When advice is not given in the correct manner it merely comes across as being hurtful.

    I am researching the topic of confidence and would love it if you would take the time to answer my survey. Confidence can increase or decrease by way of a simple email. If you are able to take the survey, thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Thanks so much for sharing this. I believe you have handled it very well. I do not understand why some people feel the need to judge other’s writing. I believe they forget the main reason for blogging and no one it forcing them to follow any blogs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • After a couple of days of processing I came to the same conclusion. I cannot imagine emailing another blogger and being critical of syntax. It comes across a bit pretentious.
      Danny

      Like

  19. Ouch! That’s rough but I think you handled it well, Danny. Sitting on it for a few days always help to water down the emotions and rationalise it. Perhaps the person thinks he/she is just “helping “?
    But u’re right in stating that it’s not anyone’s place to criticise especially when it comes to style. It’s a personal thing and would always be subjective. There’s always a choice to follow or unfollow. Discussions are ok but not attacks.

    To me this reflects more about the person than you. And you responded well.Yayy! To you! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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