I Cry Today

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I divide my life into two distinct categories-my memories prior to 9/11 and life that existed after 9/11. I could not watch today without reliving the emotions of that day as I have every year since. As it is difficult to believe 15 years have passed it is even harder to believe there are college kids who only know of this day through the images that replay and the stories they’ve heard.

Life moves quickly. But for me time seems to stand still when I watch the images from that day. As if my emotions have been stored forever in a capsule that is opened each time I watch the events unfold. They are fresh just as they were that day. The pain is still real. The fear is still there. The overwhelming sadness still robs my soul of compassion.

I want to tell those jumpers that everything will be okay. But I know that is a lie. I’ll try to imagine the desperation they must have felt. The burning pain that must have existed to convince them the only solution was to jump. I want to catch them and hold them. But I cannot.

I cry today as I did 15 years ago.

I still battle the demons inside that wish death of those who perpetrated the attacks. I want them and everyone like them to suffer. But I also know this is not going to bring those who died back to life. So I cry this morning watching the replay as I have every single year since that day. I’ll think about how life is different now compared to then. I’ll thank God above for my wife and family. And then on Monday morning I will go to work and my life will start up once again. I guess that is how it is supposed to go. I guess this is how it is supposed to be.

23 thoughts on “I Cry Today

  1. Thank you Danny for this moving tribute. The jumpers were by far the most horrific sight for me on a day of terrible events. I can’t watch the falling man video, it’s so horrible. Dona nobis pacem on this sad anniversary day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am from the Netherlands, but 9/11 is a date that we will never forget either. There were tributes on the news and people mourned as well. Such a horribly sad event.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I watched a documentary about it recently and I started crying, crying so hard. My kids didn’t understand. They tried. I tried to explain… but there are no words that can describe the horror, the disgust, the hate felt 15 years ago and then again every time you get reminded of the people who must have felt such big horror and lost their lives. Families who lost their loved ones, knowing about the terror they must have been through. I cried as if I’d lost someone. I see myself, my feelings in your post.

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  4. There are those moments that stop us dead in our tracks – where we remember every detail, suspended in time. 9/11 was that for me, as was the lethal flight of the space shuttle Challenger. Thanks for this fitting tribute, Dray!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think 9/11 is still raw for some of us when we stop to think about it or something just reminds us about it out of the blue. What happened shook our nation, brought devastation to so many, and still haunts our hearts. But, it is important to keep moving forward. Never forget, but also continue to live. I loved reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sad but true, life these days is often viewed as before and after 9/11…
    Here in Canada, I recall knitting and being glued to the newscasts.
    Then when the dust finally settled, I noticed that I’d knit my first heart! πŸ˜₯ πŸ’œ Jackie@KWH

    Liked by 1 person

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