Question of the Day – 9/28/16


Question of the Day:

Do you buy into not taking score in youth sports?  Or do you think it is important for kids to learn you will not always win?  

39 thoughts on “Question of the Day – 9/28/16

  1. I have shared my feelings on this before but I will say it again – learning to be a gracious loser is an invaluable lesson in life. Although, learning to be a gracious victor is equally so. We do our children no favours by protecting them from real life 🙂

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  2. No, I don’t buy into not taking score in youth sports. Kids should be motivated to score and win. But they should learn also that it’s okay to lose. What’s important is they’ve done their best. They will also learn what reality is like… that life is not a bed of roses and fluffy pillows.

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  3. It has been shown that no competition makes for nice children and weak adults; who crumble at the first rejection. For their sanity and a rounded adult we need to teach that you won’t always win but you can pick yourelf up and continue. Too many stress related suicides are a product of feeling a failure; because competition is not there so doesn’t teach that it is fine to not be first.

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  4. I was in Little League as a kid and didn’t much like it, and couldn’t have cared les about the score or who won. Still, in games in which a score is kept, it is part of the structure of the game. I do think that adults too easily fall into the error of making winning the end all and be all, and then shaming and berating kids, coaches, and umpires (etc.) when the team looses. That is not a service to the kids. I think my personal disinterest in competition came from being an only child. I had no siblings to teach me the importance of it. I don’t consider that a problem. I remember being in pep rallies in High School and thinking all those people were stark raving mad and, “Its a stupid football game and they aren’t even playing in it.” There is only one sports event I hope to see in my lifetime, the Cubs winning the World Series, just because its been so long and my parents lived their whole lives without that happening. I don’t know if many Cubs fans will be able to manage the upending of their basic identity in that case, but still I’d like to see it happen.

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  5. I think it’s important for kids to learn valuable lessons and learning how to deal with losing is one of them I have to agree with bobcabkings that there are far too many “adult” who make winning everything even at that level and that is a total disservice to the kids. kids need to learn to be good sports even with losing and parents need to learn that their kids aren’t going to win everything.

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  6. Here is what I have experienced over the last couple of years. My kids do sports. My son competes for about 5 years on a high level in Taekwondo sparring. My daughter plays soccer. While with her officially no score is kept, for him it’s about scoring, counting the points and winning the fight. In theory. The club he trains with also aims at teaching them that giving their best is above winning. Going out there, giving your best, improving your skills is what counts. In some cases it’s even harder to win. Like when you go up an age category and your opponents have already fought in that category. They are more settled.

    In my daughter’s case, where they don’t keep score I realized the following: As much as you don’t want to keep score, you still count their goals. You count their wins. And the girls do too. They earned their win. They earned every goal shot. They count the goals scored and the ones they got scored on.

    While I think it’s a good idea to not put too much focus on winning but rather on development and enjoying the sport they do, it is part of which ever sport they do. And they all know it. I think it makes sense to keep away from it while they are little and only start off to not discourage the beginners. Having said that, as I said, they all know if they won or not. But I guess the pressure from the outside is off, as everyone not involved doesn’t really know. So it cuts out the bullying.

    My take: Let them develop their love for their sport and in doing that their engagement and their skills for as long as possible before you start keeping score officially.

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  7. I have seen so many instances in youth sports where everyone gets a trophy and everyone is told they are great. Then, when they get to the 7-year-old and older level, sports suddenly turn incredibly competitive and there are hurt feeings and self-esteem issues. Life is competitive. I think, when kids are 3 or 4, teaching them the basics of the sport is important, but, by not keeping score, we are only prolonging the inevitable. Try to find a company or an educational institution that doesn’t thrive on internal competition. I’ll bet you can’t.


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