88 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question- 11/21/16

      1. Because someone who is that negative might have a reason to be so. This idea sometimes excludes the reality that is mental illness, a reality that manifests itself in the shape of a global epidemic. I wish people would understand that it is very easy to give up on someone who’s frustrated all the time, but that person doesn’t have some genetic defect that makes them that way. They have a story behind every word that hurts you. I know it’s hell. But being with people always is. It’s hard. And there are people who just want you to be with them and watch them fall. Accepting that you can’t fix everything, but you can at least make sure they’re not alone.

      2. So are you saying to stay with that friend even if they criticize you constantly, are generally negative, talk down to you and berate you simply to keep them from being alone?

      3. Everything else is different. And then there’s “are generally negative”. You don’t have to stay with a friend no matter what. But don’t put depression in the same bracket as being an asshole. And I’m sorry but people who are generally negative are often depressed.

      4. You bring up a good point about depression. Unfortunately I’m not trained to speak about depression so I try to stay away from it. Not because I don’t take it seriously, but I would never want anyone to get the impression that I am giving professional advice. I hope that made sense.

      5. Actually, it made a lot of sense. I have so much respect for people who don’t just dismiss mental illness just because they don’t have extensive experience in that world.

      6. I work for a newspaper and yesterday we had to report on a story of a young girl who jumped from an interstate bridge into traffic. It was horrific. I went home and cried with my wife at the thought of someone who lived so many years trapped in a world of depression or mental illness. What some don’t understand is she didn’t die from suicide, but depression. Suicide was the side effect. My heart is broken today and I’m tearful even typing this. 🙁

      7. Very few people understand this. It is so easy to say “silly little girl”. Many say it’s selfish to leave those you love , forgetting that it’s really just selfish to expect someone who is dying everyday to live. It’s not living. It’s keeping tour nose just a little above water.

      1. No one. I don’t waste my time on fixing people. My friends have their own general life problems but are generally successful, thoughtful and fun people.

      1. Some people are afraid to do life on their own terms. I suppose that if I didn’t have the support from my family, it would be a pretty scary thought. Sometimes it may just be a matter of familiarity and comfort. Some people may not know what it’s like to be treated well or that it’s even possible or that they deserve better. There are people that are convinced that that is the way they are supposed to act, that teasing and taunting are just normal ways of socializing. I’ve seen that myself. Don’t understand it either.

      2. Yeah, that is sad. I guess I have some of those patterns also, but mine are based on a loving family growing up. We are a product of our upbringing.

  1. It depends on someone’s speed and reflex action. For me one hundredth of a nanosecond. However if I’ m in top form way before he/she manages to pu me down

      1. Thanks Dray, I think a friend should be concern enough to be honest and let us know our shortcomings but also gentle enough not to damage our self esteem..also, real friends lift each other up not the other way around 😉

  2. I believe that the moment you realize that they are constantly putting you down is the moment you need to get them out of your life. You will only have that realization after they’ve done it for a while so there is no need to give them another chance and another chance. Real friends don’t put you down. They do everything to lift you up.

    1. Very good point. If you’ve known someone for a while then that timeframe was more than enough time to stop. No more time allowed once you realize there criticisms.

      1. Exactly. I think many people offer chance after chance and don’t realize how much it actually hurts them. It’s a big step to kick someone out of your life but if they hurt you, they don’t deserve to be there.

      2. The way I approach new people I meet is to put them on an unspoken probation. I allow them a small opportunity to earn the right to be my friend. The more they prove themselves the more time they get. Slow introduction into my life.

    1. I always say “they are better at what they do than I am at combating it, so I choose to eliminate them from my life. In the end there is a better chance of them changing me than me changing them.”

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