110 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You A Question – 1/24/17

      1. It happened this evening. I was being interviewed this afternoon on living resilience with PTSD and just freaked out before the interview. My son volunteered to be my “therapy dog” and took me to interview, git me to relax before the interview and when they called me in for my segment, he said, Im her therapy dog can I come in too. Lots of smiles because of our sense of humor, but tough to know that my son had to help me so much today. But grateful that I learned to accept it too. Have a good evening! 😊

      1. Hmmm, really good question… I probably would give in if I really couldn’t take care of myself, but it wouldn’t be an easy decision to take!

    1. Me too Steve. My recent trip to Disney revealed that there will be a time in the future when I might have to swallow my pride and use a scooter. It pains me to say it but I can’t keep hobbling around because it is just too painful.

      1. I hear you. I use a wheelchair and boy, was that a hard decision. It took my wife to say she was taking a holiday with our children and I could either stay behind or hire a wheelchair and come.
        I think it’s a balance between being as independent as possible an having a life. I have friends with MS who that think using a chair is giving up. It’s not. I work 30hrs a week and write in my free time.
        A scooter may give you back some of the life that was lost. Look at it that way.

      2. I need a knee replacement and have had six surgeries on my knee. Right before our last planned trip to Disney I ended up having another, unplanned, knee surgery. I was devastated at the thought of having to use a scooter around. But you know what- I swallowed my pride and used the stupid scooter and it was much better then missing the trip entirely!!!!

  1. That’s really hard. I am now in the position of being a caregiver/companion. So that puts another spin on things. And I have always been fiercely independent. But I hope when the time comes, I will rest in the knowledge that I am loved as the recipient. As the saying goes, it is better to give than receive.

    1. That last part is kind of where this question came from. I had a friend tell me once that when you are not a good receiver, you rob the giver of the joy associated with being generous. His point was that charity and generosity require two parties: giver and receiver.

      1. No it isn’t and if you let people help you, you sometimes see the real beauty in people, the real goodness. But I have difficulty in trusting people and that’s kind of sad.

      1. I’ve never wanted to be carried, ever. And, in my current mindset as a dad to 3 under 14 and child to parents in their 70’s, I’m still in CARRYING mode. Plus, in my career, I see precisely what being carried looks like, and it ain’t pretty.

      2. No, you’re correct. But I’m not ready, and, when the time comes, if I live long enough, I will not like it. But, none of us know what life has in store for us. I’m just a caretaker/carrier by nature, and taking is not who I am. Id have to accept it, but sure wouldn’t like it.

      1. I am honestly TERRIBLE at it. I’m in Latvia right now and I was ill before leaving. My friend offered to come and help and it was a HUGE step for me to allow her to come and help. But what a blessing it has been to have the help! 🙂

  2. I am already being carried depending on what you mean. I have to live with my dad and I can’t pay rent or utilities. My SSDI pays my bills and feeds me.

    1. I would say that is allowing someone else to carry you. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You must be a good receiver of help sometimes as you must also be willing to be the one to help.

      1. Thank you. Makes me not feel like a loser. I actually helped my dad with my mom while she was still alive and I still had the use of my body. My back couldn’t take the strain.

    1. This goes in the same category of being a good receiver of good deeds. It is much easier to DO the good deed than it is to be the recipient of the good deed. Some people are not good at allowing others to help them.

  3. I’d like to say yes, but when the time came I honestly don’t know. I’m pretty stubborn, so it’ll probably be a no regardless of if it’s in my best interest. Lol

  4. My husband has physically carried me on days when things were non-wheelchair accessible and I have been carried by the strength of others emotionally when my strength was worn thin. I love to be carried! I find it humbling and empowering at the same time

  5. Yes. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that this does not mean you are inadequate. I work in a company that is full of brilliant ‘Type A’ young people. One of the things that I constantly coach them on is knowing when to drop back and be a ‘Type B’. You can’t lead every project or be an expert on every subject. Sometimes you have to recognize that the other person is more qualified and drop back and support or follow them.

    1. Wow, what a powerful bit of advice. I am type A also and tend to want to do things my way and lead. I have learned the support/follow skill in the last few years.

  6. It’s tough especially for someone who’s used to be doing stuff on her own but I guess. Why not. I’m just a very sensitive person and I never want to feel that I am imposing on anyone or that I am causing anyone hardship.

      1. I know what you’re saying. It’s just not easy for me coz I’m so used to doing things on my own and working hard for things I need and want and I feel blessed and fortunate for that.

      2. And you are and I agree completely that it can be hard. Sometimes the beginning of change is when we stop acknowledging how hard something can be. Not telling you what to do, just throwing that out there for thought. 🙂

  7. Of course. It’s one thing being strong and giving your all. But it’s another thing to admit that you are exhausted and can’t do it on your own anymore. It needs strength to admit this too. So yes, I will let the right people carry me if I need them to. But only if I realize that no matter how much I put in, I won’t be able to do it on my own any longer.

      1. I guess it’s one of the tough lessons to learn that sometimes you just can’t do it on your own. It needs guts to admit it. And it needs even more strength to admit it and ask for help.

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