How Are You At Apologizing?

images (10)How are you at apologizing?  Do you recognize when you need to apologize for your actions or does it have to be pointed out to you?

I once had a blogger tell me she never apologizes.  She said she viewed apologizing as being weak.  Of course I disagree with her view on every possible level.  I view apologizing as a strength; one must possess some degree of self-awareness to do so.

When you have created conflict, do you take time to contemplate what you have done and how you can change your behavior?  How do you come to the conclusion that you need to apologize?  Is it because of the other person’s reaction only?  Or because you realize your behavior was uncalled for?

52 thoughts on “How Are You At Apologizing?

    • Are you self-aware enough to apologize to someone when you realize your behavior was wrong even if the person doesn’t have an adverse reaction? In other words, is your apology reaction based or principle based?

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      • The problem with this question is; I shoot from the hip, meaning the truth. If you ask me, “does this look goo”?, if I think it doesn’t I will tell you no, it doesn’t. At that point, I don’t think I hurt your feelings and would not apologize. If you don’t want the truth don’t ask me. If I come upon someone and say something rude then I do apologize instantly. Most of the people know me well enough to know that I will always tell the truth but I do have to check myself and remember if I have nothing nice to say don’t say anything. ☺☺

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      • The last part of your comment is the “self awareness” of which I am speaking. My wife can be very blunt sometimes and it can really offend people although she is a sweet and kind person. Self awareness is the key to know to keep the ole mouth shut sometimes. lol

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  1. I will be the first to admit when I am wrong. I will apologize and hope the relationship will return to it’s previous state. However, there are some people that do not accept apologies and act like you are evil for the duration of a forced relationship. (relatives) So I do not apologize when it is not necessary just to smooth things over with someone who thinks they deserve an apology when they do not.

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  2. Apologizing means you are acknowledge that even you are not perfect. It helps to build a better relationship with others. It says you are more natured and humble. It is sometimes difficult to apologize because of our human ego but apologize we must to make life more beautiful.

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  3. I grew up in a family of over-apologizers. Thats what we do. Doesn’t matter the situation. If someone says “this terrible thing happened to me today!”, we will, without thinking say “I’m so sorry”. Sometimes I dont think it’s necessarily admitting fault, but acknowledging a situation that has made someone upset.

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  4. If I am wrong I feel it and I apologize no matter what. It’s always good to let the person know you feel bad for what you did. In my case, I’m mostly the first to go for it. There was a phase when i felt bad for this because people felt it was my weakness if i apologized first. But after a lot of thinking I realized it is a good thing and now I feel good about it and about myself.😊

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  5. Apologizing is necessary to admit if you are wrong. And if you hurt 😭 someone’s feelings.. unintentionally..
    it’s a form of strength. And it sometimes takes great courage to..

    If I see and know I am wrong.. then I will definitely apologize..
    or if I hurt someone even though I’m right.. I will apologize for hurting them with an explanation as to why..
    I will apologize to save a friendship. .. or to resume a relationship.. which I think is not worth losing…
    But it takes a big person to apologize..

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  6. I think in my family, I apologise when I know I am wrong.. in a relationship it’s different.. with friends it’s different again.. sometimes I over apologise just to avoid a fight and move on..
    But what gets me thinking sometime is, does the person realise I really mean it when I apologise or am I not being taken seriously..

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      • When someone else has wronged you, but you apologize anyway to bring peace. I have been in situations where I have been called vulgar names and apologized for making a person feel that way about me, while not stooping to that level of cruelty. I have apologized for other’s actions when I have no control over them.

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      • You might be a better person than I. lol I’m not so sure I am willing to apologize when I’ve done nothing wrong. I tend to eliminate people who mistreat me from my life.

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      • Not sure that makes me a better person. When you allow certain types of people and behavior in your life, I tend to believe you start to mirror it. It is like the ripple effect, the creation of one brings forth bigger ones. With the proper exercising of limitations and boundaries, apologies can be made in sincerity and with the hopes of learning from error.

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  7. I believe that you should apologize if you did something wrong or you made someone feel a certain way. You can’t control someone’s response to it, but if you genuinely care about the message sent and the receiver was affected by your response then what’s the problem with apologizing for the message? When I was growing up, my mom never apologized. That hurt the heck out of me.

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  8. When I recognize it, I do apologize. In Al-Anon we learned to make an amends as soon as we realize we made a mistake. I am also a person that shoots straight from the hip, and experience has taught me that I sometimes need to soften the blow (and sometimes my opinion doesn’t even need to be voiced). I had to learn the difference between giving advice, and hurting someone’s feelings. Like another blogger said, when someone asks my opinion, I ask if they are just venting or really want it. I do warn them in advance.

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  9. I have a tendency to apologize to everyone for everything … I don’t sleep well if I feel I have wronged someone in any way, so I just apologize and make amends if there is even a shred of a chance that I contributed to somebody’s angst. 🙂

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      • Hmmmmm …. probably not, at least not that I can think of, though I have often enough apologized on behalf of somebody else. My significant other tends to be obnoxious when drinking too much, and i find that I am frequently apologizing for some thing he said. Probably not a good habit, but … 🙂

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  10. A, you are a man, so don’t have the gene that causes women to want to share and bond with other women . B, blamers also have something deeper going on. We are all in control, no one can blame us for their final actions. I always add that “you have to do what’s best for you because it is you that will suffer from the consequences. “Just like no one can make us FEEL a certain way without our permission. That’s why I clarify on whether it’s venting or if they are asking for advice before I offer.

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