Let Me Ask You A Question – 7/26/17

gce5rz8mi

Let me ask you a question…

How much of your self-worth/self-identity is attached to how you look?

58 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You A Question – 7/26/17

  1. Tough question. This must differ with age, when I was younger I would have said most of your self identity comes from how you look but as we age I think we learn that there’s so much more than how we appear to others and vica versa. So I think the percentage lowers as age increases.

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    • Then why do people of all ages continue physical upkeep? You say the percentage lowers. Is this to imply that on some levels we always have some part of our self-identity attached to how we look?

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    • I don’t see attaching self-worth to how one looks as being vain. Would you choose to be disfigured? And if you were disfigured would that boost or lower your self-image? I think the honest answer is it would possibly lower your self-image; which I think would be a natural, human response. Maybe I’m wrong though.

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      • For some, there is vanity involved, especially when their appearance no longer agrees with their self image, whether due to some disfigurement, or simply age or illness. I accepted long ago that I do not fit the “hot dude, matinee idol” sort of standard, and never was a clothes horse either. Balding started early too, but did not proceed to the full extent, just pattern. So, what is my external self image? I am an elderly, semi bald (but long haired with pony tail) mildly over weight, average height, jeans and t-shirt semi hippy, sandal wearing (weather permitting) sort of character. Why? Because it seems comfortable and I can get away with it and not worry about my self image particularly much.

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      • I don’t think it is possible for humans to completely separate their self-identity from the way they look. The two will always be interconnected to some degree.

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      • Hmmm- That gets me to wonder how our distant ancestors formed their self image before the invention of effective mirrors. They could see many parts of their bodies and clothes (if any), but not their faces or back sides. The rich, at some stage could commission (possibly flattering) portraits and sculptures and the powerful could rely on the flattery of courtiers.

        Another distortion to consider is the body images of many who suffer from eating disorders and can look in a mirror at a dangerously under weight body and see fat.

        So, there is an enduring question of how accurate or not anyone’s self image may be.

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      • I am sure our ancestors used water to view their own image? And the accuracy of one’s self-image sends us down an entirely different rabbit hole. lmao.

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      • Down a rabbit hole indeed! And, there we might fine a bottle and a cake – “Drink Me” and “Eat Me” and shrink and grow like Alice. Her self image proved rather unstable. LOL

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      • Later, still down that rabbit hole, Alice met the caterpillar:

        The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
        ————
        ‘Who are you?’ said the Caterpillar.

        This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’
        ———————
        Self image and change at play again, but isn’t that pretty much what self image is about, that question from the (apparently stoned) caterpillar? 🙂

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  2. Hmmm… A lot of it. Looking good makes me feel good, it boosts my self confidence. Nevertheless, I look good for myself, the only other person whose opinion matters is my bestie of course. But on a general note, I keep the mentality that those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind. On some occasions though, it’s not how I look but how I feel that brings out the self love in me, what this means is that I can go to the market wearing the most ugliest trousers and an unflattering shirt with my hair looking like I just woke up from a bad dream (that’s not looking good) but on days like these, but if I think it’s good enough for me, then it’s good enough for me and doesn’t decrease my self worth or identity.

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      • Oh yes. I would not want to lose a limb or become disfigured in some way. The fact is that we are all ‘disfigured’ by time.

        When I was in my teens we called it getting ‘old and ugly’ as if such a thing would never happen to us.

        To some extent success is the ability to adapt to life’s losses and to find a way to turn those losses into gains.

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  3. All of it (is that the right answer? Ha) I only look like a mess when I am a mess. Maybe that’s vanity? Now if you look at my photo, that’s with some hard work could you imagine the mess without it lol. So yes all of it if I look worthless I feel worthless. Great question 🙂

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  4. My self-esteem has almost always been based on my abilities, creativity, and good character traits. I’ll admit that at some points with my bipolar disorder my character (or rather behavior) was far from ideal. That lost me a lot of friends, particularly female friends. Men tended to be more tolerant of my behavior (or I didn’t act up as much in front of them), and seemed to judge me on the other traits I mentioned.

    As far as looks, I have always been satisfied with mine. I’ll admit that as a teen I went through a gawky period, but that didn’t bother me that much. As a young women through today I feel I’m pretty lucky looks-wise. Men have always thought I was attractive physically. I’m not a super model, for sure, but kind of a girl next door type of attractive. I’m au natural and confident in being so. Little make up. I don’t think I really need to paint up myself to feel confident.

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    • I am pleased that the vast majority of comments have admitted that part of their self identity is connected to their looks. I don’t believe it’s possible as a human being to have your looks completely disconnected from the way you view yourself. What do you think about that?

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  5. The older I get, the less importance my appearance or what I look like has. One just cannot fight time so instead of complainig about something that obviously can’t be overcome I focus on improving other facets of my personnality. I still like to dress good and wear my jewels and nice clothes but I have no illusions on how old and decrepit I look like now since I reached the age of 50. Besides I have far more important problems now. I’ve been dumped, betrayed, humiliated and left alone by most of the people who really mattered to me so I just wanna die the faster i cam and as painless as could possibily be!

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