I had my fourth therapy session yesterday with my psychologist, Dr. Kate, and it went well. We are working through some things that are really difficult. I’ll just go ahead and throw this out to the universe and let you guys know I have been diagnosed with a disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. It is not OCD, but a disorder centered more around rigidity of thinking, order, scheduling and ridiculous amounts of anxiety. I’ll drop a OCPD link here for those who would want to educate themselves.
It creates a lot of arguments at home between Evelina and I, which is why I began therapy in the first place. My goal is to be the best husband I can be and for a lack of better words I thought it just might be that I’m an as*&hole. Come to find out there is a specific reason behind all of my compulsions and it has to do with the way my brain is wired.
The honest truth is I’m not sure how to feel at this point because the realities are all so new and we are dealing with it on a daily basis. The good thing is I finally have a name for this thing that lives inside me that rears its head in the form of a 5,000 pound ball of anxiety. It also explains why I see life mostly in black and white and my way of doing things is the right way and the only way.
I’ll be talking more about it now that I’m more comfortable with it and seeing that there is no recover or cure it will be something that I’ll need to purge out via this blog.
So welcome to my life of learning to live with OCPD: a brand new journey!