The One Way I Believe Self-Help Fails


The One Way I Believe Self-Help Fails…

In my opinion “self-help” fails in one major way: it focuses on improving your shortcomings instead of directing you to simply be the person you want to be.  I hope that makes sense, but just in case it doesn’t I’ll clarify.

Almost every self-improvement blogger I know espouses a basic premise that you can eventually be and achieve all the things that will make you fulfilled, but for now you need to improve yourself.  In order to get what you want you must change something.  I’ve even said it in the past.

Stop wasting time, stop procrastinating, stop eating junk food and on and on and on.  The list never ends.  We are all familiar with the language.

But doesn’t this approach put more emphasis on the negative instead of the positive?  It seems like self-improvement focuses so much on what I lack; on my deficiencies.   And aren’t we always going to have deficiencies?  So it hit me that one could get caught in this ridiculous loop of constantly focusing on faults and this doesn’t feel right to me any longer.

What if you simply determined what it is that you know you do really well and focused on those aspects of your life?  If you are a people person then find things to do that will allow you to highlight that ability.  If you love being creative then be creative.  If you love numbers then be content with playing the numbers game in some fashion.

What if your focus became to simply become the person you desire to be?  Full of deficiencies, faults, mistakes, shortcomings, etc.  The path of “I must fix this problem now, then I’ll fix this problem and after that I’ll be happy” will lead to frustration and misery.  The journey promises to be full of adventure and insightful experiences, but creates an unreachable, ever-moving destination; a destination that never existed in the first place.

It seems to me that focusing on the positive is much more effective and enjoyable than constantly focusing on the negatives.


27 thoughts on “The One Way I Believe Self-Help Fails

  1. Finally! Someone had the .well, you know, to say it! Every single time I start reading a “self help” blog post, book, article, whatever, they all start with the you need to change this attitude. Um, seriously, no I don’t. I may have annoying characteristics but there is so much more to me than that, and when I am focused upon the good strengths, my wonderful attributes I can accomplish so very much. Rock ON Danny!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think you are correct. For years I was told I was too fat, not smart enough, etc. I grew up like that, married into it, and believed it. I was always trying to change, dieting, etc, but the mind set remained. I was 5’5″and weighed 125 after an unhealthy diet. I look at pictures of me before that, when I was “overweight” and now realize I looked great. It’s only now that I can look back and think and see the me I really was, instead of the person I thought I was at the time, because of others opinions. People aren’t perfect, but they need to believe in themselves instead of what outside influences think they should be. I only learned that I was “ok” after my life changed drastically and I had to rely on myself and found that I could. I guess this is a confession of sorts? Crazy isn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s