Is Happiness the Thing That’s Making You Miserable?

DannyIs Happiness the Thing That’s Making You Miserable?

It is easy to have a smile on your face when life is going according to plans.  It isn’t so easy to keep a reasonable attitude when life drops you in a pile of manure.  And I don’t think it is expected of anyone to lie in the manure with a beaming smile on one’s face.  Sometimes you are going to feel a little melancholy and that is okay.

I’m not sure who started this “you need to be happy all the time” idea, but they need to be shot.  Figuratively speaking of course.

Happiness is an emotion.  And like all emotions it comes and it goes.  Sometimes you will be sad and there will be periods of time when you will be happy.  But you should not expect to be happy all the time; it simply isn’t a realistic expectation and having a goal of happiness might be what’s making you miserable.

Instead of happiness I focus on fulfillment and joy.  I work everyday to find more things that make me feel full.  Full of self-pride, full of confidence, full of self-esteem, full of joy, full of wonder, etc.

I find ways to get full by eating a little healthier, working a little harder, seeking out new experiences, loving my wife to the fullest extent, reading books that challenge my brain and, of course, writing my blog.

I seek to be full of joy, not happiness.  I strive to increase my fulfillment, not to be happy all the time.

The goal of happiness is what makes so many people feel as though they are broken or “less than” and that is unfortunate.

Here’s a thought: stop trying to be happy all the time.  Start focusing on joy and being a little more fulfilled.


19 thoughts on “Is Happiness the Thing That’s Making You Miserable?

  1. used that expression “they ought to be shot” ; ) I think I used it once and it was like an oxymoron since I was writing about something violent. I doubt my mother was using it as a figure of speech

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so true. Too often, we are led to believe that happiness is about self-satisfaction, but that’s all wrong. This belief leads us to an endless quest for self-satisfying activities and we end up frustrated and even more unhappy than before. You’re right when you say happiness is an emotion. It comes and goes, nobody is meant to feel happy all the time. Like you say, it’s better to focus on joy and fulfillment, and most of the time these come in the form of service and kindness towards others. If you want to feel happy, start making other people happy.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Maybe. If we live with the idea that we are going to be happy all the time, we miss the point. Living in the moment, whether it’s a good or not the greatest is where joy dwells. When we find the joy in the present moment we’ve found contentment and that is where true happiness is found. Happiness is not an emotion, it’s a state of being. Ohhh, where did that come from, I have to remember that!

        Liked by 1 person

      • But happiness IS an emotion and will come and go; it is situational. This is my point. People who expect to be happy all the time will only experience disappointment.


      • I think that we are talking about happiness from different angles and perhaps I’ve been misunderstanding your question. Yes, people that look for happiness from sources outside themselves in the form of people or things will eventually be disappointed. In that context happiness is situational. It won’t be found no matter how hard someone looks. No person or thing will make you happy until you find a place of contentment and peace within yourself first. This is where true happiness is from and getting to that place takes a lot of work.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: What is Happiness? | Element

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