Let Me Ask You a Question – 2/24/18


Let me ask you a question:

What is bullying and what isn’t bullying?

39 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question – 2/24/18

  1. Using a bit of legalese, bullying is a “conscious pattern and practice” of verbal and/or physical abuse and intimidation of a person by one or more others. In that sense, a lot of what is described as “sexual harassment” (as different from sexual assault and unwanted advances) in schools and work places would be a form of bullying. Isolated incidents of hostile interaction would not fit the definition.

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    • It is difficult to distinguish. Your illustration is exactly my point. Disagreeing isn’t bullying, but there are school systems encouraging students to report all of this as bullying just to be safe. Then a kid gets labeled a “bully” when in fact he/she are not.

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      • I saw a great quote the other day that “being taught not to talk about politics and religion has led to a lack of understand about politics and religion. What we should of been taught was how to have a civil conversation on a difficult topic” Its that type of thing we should be teaching the children, but, and I say this as someone who’s child was being picked on, its started off with being called names and ended up (in a week) with my son getting slapped in the face and punched in the stomach. If, instead of getting its not bullying they are just being children or boys will be boys, and the parents and the school had nipped it in the bud early during the picking on phase and treated it has seriously my 5 year old wouldn’t of had a bruise on his cheek for a week

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      • I imagine that is a tough situation. When I was coming up we were taught to bully the bully. Take your fist and put it right it their stomach. but I guess you can’t do that these days.

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      • No, especially in this case, where my son is a massive 5 year old and the other child in case is a tiny 5 year old, so if my son had done that, he would of done some serious damage. My son can pull me off my feet and I am 9 stone


      • Exactly, where as I personally think he was just protecting himself, but as the bigger child, he would of been the problem, where as the smaller child seem to get a pass, well till I got pissed off and put a stop to it.

        I will say that the parents in this case, were slow to respond, but once they got onboard, they worked very hard with the school to make sure nothing like this ever happened again, and I can’t even be 100% sure the school were telling the parents about the name calling side of it, but once it got physically then they were in there straight off

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      • I would be so pissed. Those poor kids who pick on others are doing so because they aren’t getting some type of love at home. Or something is missing in their home: love, attention.

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      • I agree they can be dangerous, but whether he suffers from something like a Napolean Complex is the thing I debate whether he is too young, obviously due to privacy laws, I don’t know whether he is maybe on the spectrum or just a mean little boy. However like I said the parents dealt with it very quickly from the hitting, I just wish it had been dealt with before it got to that point

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      • I know personally that there are whst used to be called bad seeds. I kow that’s a horrid expression, but it is true. The type if boy who ends up being Ted Bundy or worse

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      • The court system is favoring the child always, because of parental abuse, etc of course, but they are now finding that younger and younger children who can’t be in regular society have no place to go, at least permanently. Even though they are dangerous, there’s just no facilities to handle them.There are judges here in WY who are trying to change this because we as the public are dealing with more and more youngsters every year that can only be held temporarily even though they are a danger to others, siblings, classmates , even teachers. Here in WY you have to be thirteen to be held in what used to be called juvenile detention. Then they are usually restricted until eighteen years of age. Most end up in jail after that, or mental facilities. It is not talked about much because it’s a taboo subject and unless you have dealt with it in some form directly you probably wouldn’t believe a small child could inflict this type of harm. I know they can.

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      • We have a case going on here at the moment in the UK. That has been ongoing for 30 years now, Jamie Bulger, he was killed in 1993 by 2 10/11 boys, the case shocked the whole nation. In 2001 both boys were realised as they were found to no longer be a threat to society, given new names, moved to a completely different part of the country and a worldwide ban on the press was given so they couldn’t realise any details. One of those boys was sent back to prison in 2010 and then again very recently, the reason indecent child images. The reason I mention this, is because I was only 10 at the time of the murder, but I remember the shock that went through the country and I think it was the first time, it was thought possible what children were actually capable of, when previously it was thought no child would do that type of thing

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      • Children learn from adults. Even their fantasies come from things produced by adults. Some children admire villains more than heroes.

        It’s been said by professionals that adult child abusers were abused as children. The children learn that fear, pain, mockery, etc. controls. They apply that to their peers and when opportunities arise as adults, they continue the same behavior.

        As the saying goes, hurting people hurt others. When there are dysfunctions in thinking processes, children can grow up believing that they have the right to hurt anyone for any reason, even if they have to create circumstances giving them a reason.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bullying is uninvited physical and/or verbal abuse that occurs more than once. It generally includes mockery, condescending name-calling, and can also include lies and rumors with intent to subject the person to public ridicule or isolation from others.

    Bullying is not responding to a bully by telling them to leave the targeted person alone. Bullying is not, for example, telling someone that they shouldn’t wear a certain clothing style. However, if the criticism is uninvited and done before an audience with intent to ridicule, it can be considered bullying.

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  3. This is a tough question that leads to something deeper. We are living in a society where we are teaching our children that they are all the best at everything and are all unique and special. At some point in their lives, they are going to learn that this is not true. There will always be those that are smarter, faster and better looking. Competition will bombard them at every turn. I think there needs to be a balance. Not everyone that bests you at something or calls out your flaws is a bully. When I was a kid, I was awkward with a larger than average nose. I was picked on constantly to the point that I began to call attention to it through humor before anyone else could get to it. This was disarming and I still use this self-deprecating humor today to my advantage. I think we should arm our kids with a bit of realism and not call everything bullying. That being said, the prevalence of social media and electronic devices today makes bullying more prevalent. Bullies can come after you 24 hours per day.

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    • The social media aspect is alarming. I believe society 50+ years from now will look back on our time with disbelief that we gave our children access to such things. Much like we can’t believe people once used mercury in hat making.

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      • Speaking of social media on the internet, it came about due to capitalism. I go back to the time when there were maybe 2 internet service providers and both were dial-up. One was Compuserve. It was marketed to give business people a means to communicate by email and share files. Its subscription was limited in hours per month and if subscribers went beyond the allowed hours, they paid dearly.

        Back then, if you wanted a computer, you had to go through a firm that customized IBM compatibles or to Radio Shack or through Apple. Very few homes had home computers and getting software was an additional expense because the computers came with no programs other than DOS such as Edlin for word processing.

        Then came companies selling computers retail, and AOHell carpeted magazines and mail with disks for free trials. Microsoft loaded computers with programs that were once sold as separate software. Compuserve partnered with AOHell so their subscribers could assess Compuserve forums. AOHell was the initiator of anonymous handles whereas Compuserve assigned account numbers. Anonymous people found that they could be rude, make personal attacks, and at the end of the AOHell trial period, simply load another free trial disk, choose another anonymous handle, and wreck havoc again.

        The consumers could not afford to pay their bills, so along came unlimited hours. With unlimited hours came people sitting at computers looking for things to get involved in online. Then came social media, such as forums, followed by Facebook. Follow that with cell phones and other devices that can now access the internet, and we are where we are today.

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