You should never, ever compare yourself to others…
One of the lowest points of my life was around 2005 while I was working in the golf business. I had a decent job at a good club and I was completely miserable. I was surrounded by members who had more than me. They had better jobs, better homes, better cars and more money. And I spent the vast majority of my time looking at them with envy. I wanted everything they had, but more importantly I didn’t want what I had.
I spent many years comparing myself to others and feeling completely inadequate. Those years of comparing my behind the scenes to their highlight reel nearly ruined me. I drank heavily and lamented my lack of achievement. It was not a fun time.
What I would eventually realize was that if I continued to compare myself to anyone other than myself then I would always be miserable. So I changed my thinking.
I began to compare me to me.
I decided that I would focus solely on becoming everything I wanted to be not on becoming what other were or what others had. I realized that if I wanted something I would have to go get it. I would have to change. I would have to leave golf and go challenge myself. And that is what I did.
But of all the life changes the single most important was the changing of my mind; I changed the way I thought.
Change begins in an instant and that instant is the exact moment when you decide in your own mind that once and for all you are going to take action.
That was my experience when I decided I was no longer going to compare myself to others.
Danny
The comparison game is a recipe tonne miserable. There’s always some who’ll have more. But, there’s a hell of lot who have less. The universe listens, and gratitude is generally rewarded…and a heck of a lot less stressful.
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Exactly. Now I only compare myself to myself and doing the best I can do. It is a positive outlook whereas envy is a negative view.
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Yep.
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Bravo! You began to believe in who you could be. In turn you became the best you can be. Best of all was the satisfaction of knowing you got there yourself. Envy and greed are ugly and have no place in self worth. We have to reach a point of knowing and not liking the path we are heading to be able to change. You did that and now you can cope with anything.
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Envy is so dangerous. It comes from a place of insecurity and discontent then leads down a dark hole.
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So true.
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It is easy to understand the danger of comparing oneself to others. Mozart wrote his first symphony at about age 7. I haven’t written one yet and I’m more than twice his age when he died.
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It is dangerous. I fell into the pit due to it for a few years. It was dreadful.
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Very true! Whenever you start comparing with others you’ll end up less happy with what you have.
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It becomes an incredibly slippery slope.
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Reblogged this on fiercefabulousfunny and commented:
Truth! Never compare yourself to others
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Thank you for sharing, Velma!
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You’re welcome!
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Beautiful story, it certainly is essential for us all to come to this same conclusion and change… to love and care for ourself especially first❤️ love barbara x
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A slightly different view point, one of my friends, has four boys, an amazing husband (he really is) a lovely house and she has started on a course that will lead her into a job she will love, its all her. Without knowing her story, you might say she has it all and is living the life, what most people probably don’t know is the road she has travelled to get there, abuse, massive mental health problems, court trials (for the abuse.) Which is why I don’t tend to compare myself to others, I don’t know the road they have travelled to get what I might want
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Such a good point. Thank you for leaving this here for others to read. Most excellent!
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Thank you, you will have to wait a decade for another excellent point
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I love this! It’s hard these days not to compare especially when we see a lot of people on social media flaunting things that we might want to have or wish we could get. Recently, a friend of mine was so upset at a family member of hers because he went around posting pictures on his social media of new clothes, sneaker and was going on small vacations. Little does anyone know that outside of social media, he’s behind on his car payment and can barely make rent monthly. She’s been helping him but after seeing all the money he is using on other items, she has stopped. It’s a shame that people would rather “look good” to other than feel good inside about what they already have in life to be thankful and grateful of.
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This is a great point. You never know what the person that you are comparing yourself to is going through. It isn’t as nice as it looks.
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Beautiful write-up!
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Glad you like it!
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