Is the Way You Manage Stress Holding You Back?


Is the Way You Manage Stress Holding You Back?

I am going to be completely transparent here and say that I don’t deal with stress well.  I tend to over-analyze and dwell or things that are directly in front of me.  I work through the question tree, anticipating any and all outcomes and what my response will be.  I worry.   And it is not a healthy way of dealing with stressful situations in my life.

How do you manage your stress?

Do you dwell?  Or do you let stress run off you like water off a duck’s back?

If you are the latter then congratulations.  Unfortunately for me my mind does not operate like that.  So because I realize I have “down the rabbit hole” thinking, I must find cues to remind me to control my thinking.  I cannot allow stressful situations to send me into a death spiral of over-analyzing.

Here’s what I do.  When my mind begins dwelling and hyper-focusing on one thing I tell myself the following: “There is nothing you can do right now except what you can do.  Control what you can control and let the rest be what it is.”  This is a reminder to me to let the future go and stop worrying.

For a long time I allowed myself to make excuses to justify worrying and having an out-of-control mind.  “It’s how I’m geared.”  “It’s just how my personality works.”  “I don’t worry, I get my mind prepared.”

All off the following are just a few of the excuses I used to justify my mind.  I am finding that I can change how my mind works, but it takes discipline and a desire to change.  Every day I go through a process check to make sure I am not allowing my mind to control me.

It isn’t easy and I’m not always successful, but I will eventually get this under control.  The key is I acknowledge that I have a problem with handling stress, I have a process to change my behavior and I am committed to changing.

“I cannot control the future, I can only control right here, right now.   The future will be what it will be so let it go.”


13 thoughts on “Is the Way You Manage Stress Holding You Back?

  1. Yes i do exactly the same thing you describe I don’t worry, I plan, so at 3:30am I am awake and planning, as you say, going through scenarios that never actually materialise. Unless I am on top of everything I feel the need to plan, or is it worrying hmmm. Great post😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think I overthink too. 😂
    Usually when I’m stress, I spend time alone. That’s when I overthink. And like you, I also focus on my circle of influence — those areas in my life that I can do something — and take a leap of faith into action.

    Thanks for sharing this! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am getting much better at dealing with stress. Last winter I worked with a sport psychologist who really helped me deal with stress surrounding my competitions. This involved a plan leading up to the competitions and strategies for the days of the competitions. For other stresses such as family illness or misfortunes I try to turn it over if there is nothing I can do to help. The serenity prayer helps me a lot. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I am the same as you. I over analyze every outcome and prepare for every situation. I’m my cousin once told me that worrying is debt paid on a debt that you may never own. I wrote it down and hung it on my wall and try to remind myself of it constantly. To me, worrying is what prepares me. It’s what gets my butt up and fight for what I need, makes me study harder on an exam, it’s what creates actionanable items that’s usually end is a result that benefits me or at least prepares me for all outcomes. Without worry, I would be blindsided. So she told me to stop calling it worry. What I’m doing is preparing, not worrying. But between me and you, I’m worrying and preparing and still having a hard time eliminating the worry part of it.

    Liked by 1 person

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