42 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question – 4/13/18”
For me, it depends on what they did or what happened. Sometimes it is very hard for me to forgive others.
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It can be hard for me also. But after years of holding on to stuff it only does me damage. It wears on my mind so therefore I’m learning to leave it in the past and move on with my future. I put it on them and release myself of the emotional burden.
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For the most part it is!! 😁
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Good for you. Holding on to stuff is a bit unhealthy.
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Yes. Who needs the weight of holding onto grudges?
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I think it is for me… I feel that holding grudges hurts me more than the person I hold it against.
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It definitely wears on you after a while.
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Generally, yes, but it can take some time. Often, I think, we first need to forgive our self for getting into the situation. Holding a grudge is a way of not doing that. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean not seeking justice or amends, and definitely not forgetting.
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I just clear my mind completely. For me “not forgetting” is a way to continue to hang on to little remnants of the situation. I try to forgive and forget and move on.
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Yes. I forgive without them asking, but generally cut-off communications. If they ask for forgiveness, I will continue communications. If they repeat the offense, I cut them off. Forgiveness comes easy when we realize that it doesn’t mean being the offender’s beating pole. “Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent” is advice that is heeded. A serpent is cold-blooded. It knows when it’s too hot to remove itself where it is cool, and if it’s too cool to remove itself where it can be warm.
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I am a fan of removing people as well. I don’t have a lot of patience for people who repeat bad actions.
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It takes effort, humility, and often sacrifice, but in the end it’s always worth it.
Easy? No. Necessary? Yes!!
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I agree with you.
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I wouldn’t say it is easy, but I’m far less than perfect myself, so it’s only fair to forgive others.
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I just don’t see the value in investing my energy into holding onto stuff.
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There is no value. Hold on to the lesson, not the negativity.
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We agree.
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I don’t hold grudges but, yes there is a but, If I get an apology I let it go. If not and we are not speaking then that’s their choice, not mine. I can move on with no regrets. If I am wrong I will always apologize. If they accept fine, if not I move on with no regrets.
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Have you always been like this or has this perspective developed over time?
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Always, I know it sounds odd but it’s true.
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No, not really. Well, I guess it really depends, now that I think about it. What trust did they break? Is it repeatedly repeated? Did someone cheat on me, or did they show up late for something? Lie to me over and over, or eat the sandwich I brought for lunch? The formers in those examples? Forgiveness wouldn’t come easily. The latters? Eh. No biggie. Ya’ know?
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This question is a fun one. I know some people who will bring something up from years ago that I don’t recall, but I can tell they’ve been holding on to it forever. Human behavior is incredible. Most people believe they do things which their actions show they do not. I am waiting for someone to say, “No I hold on to stuff for years.” lol You are one of the first to be honest and say no.
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It’s not easy to forgive someone for a truly bad act. I just cut ’em out of my life. Problem solved. 😃
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I do the same. I don’t have the patience or time to deal with people .
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Nope. My tolerance for bullshit has been low for a long time. 😃
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I think as we get older we come to the realization that we don’t have to put up with nonsense.
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Nope. Not for a second. 👍🏻
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No I hold a grudge for decades, but I usually forget about it till someone reminds me. I also keep telling myself how stupid it is
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At least you are honest. Most people answering this question say “yes”, which I know not every person is being honest.
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I struggle with this as I’m a very emotionally charged person so my feelings tend to cloud my responses.
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So are you saying it isn’t easy for you to forgive?
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Yeah that would be accurate
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It should be easier than it is for me. But nonetheless I do forgive. Often for selfish reasons…I just want to move on and not put any more energy into whatever the slight or wrong was.
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I am finding therapy to be really helpful in talking through past situations and then verbalizing my forgiveness. Even without the person there it helps.
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I agree. We have to let it go ourselves first.
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Not if they have hurt me deeply. I tend to carry the resentment to the point where it only hurts me. Not good
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That was the point of my post yesterday. When we hold on to things it only negates our ability to truly find joy and peace. All of those little things add up and they build up like a clog in a sink. I think we all need some spiritual and emotional Liquid Plummer.
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Agreed. I’m a true example of what all that negative stuff can do. It’s cost me dearly.
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Yes. Unreserve\dly YES. I have not always been that way; but, age has matured and softened me a lot.
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Being able to forgive will make you healthier in the long run.
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Yes, I always remind myself “Never to let anyone live rent free in my mind”
For me, it depends on what they did or what happened. Sometimes it is very hard for me to forgive others.
It can be hard for me also. But after years of holding on to stuff it only does me damage. It wears on my mind so therefore I’m learning to leave it in the past and move on with my future. I put it on them and release myself of the emotional burden.
For the most part it is!! 😁
Good for you. Holding on to stuff is a bit unhealthy.
Yes. Who needs the weight of holding onto grudges?
I think it is for me… I feel that holding grudges hurts me more than the person I hold it against.
It definitely wears on you after a while.
Generally, yes, but it can take some time. Often, I think, we first need to forgive our self for getting into the situation. Holding a grudge is a way of not doing that. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean not seeking justice or amends, and definitely not forgetting.
I just clear my mind completely. For me “not forgetting” is a way to continue to hang on to little remnants of the situation. I try to forgive and forget and move on.
Yes. I forgive without them asking, but generally cut-off communications. If they ask for forgiveness, I will continue communications. If they repeat the offense, I cut them off. Forgiveness comes easy when we realize that it doesn’t mean being the offender’s beating pole. “Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent” is advice that is heeded. A serpent is cold-blooded. It knows when it’s too hot to remove itself where it is cool, and if it’s too cool to remove itself where it can be warm.
I am a fan of removing people as well. I don’t have a lot of patience for people who repeat bad actions.
It takes effort, humility, and often sacrifice, but in the end it’s always worth it.
Easy? No. Necessary? Yes!!
I agree with you.
I wouldn’t say it is easy, but I’m far less than perfect myself, so it’s only fair to forgive others.
I just don’t see the value in investing my energy into holding onto stuff.
There is no value. Hold on to the lesson, not the negativity.
We agree.
I don’t hold grudges but, yes there is a but, If I get an apology I let it go. If not and we are not speaking then that’s their choice, not mine. I can move on with no regrets. If I am wrong I will always apologize. If they accept fine, if not I move on with no regrets.
Have you always been like this or has this perspective developed over time?
Always, I know it sounds odd but it’s true.
No, not really. Well, I guess it really depends, now that I think about it. What trust did they break? Is it repeatedly repeated? Did someone cheat on me, or did they show up late for something? Lie to me over and over, or eat the sandwich I brought for lunch? The formers in those examples? Forgiveness wouldn’t come easily. The latters? Eh. No biggie. Ya’ know?
This question is a fun one. I know some people who will bring something up from years ago that I don’t recall, but I can tell they’ve been holding on to it forever. Human behavior is incredible. Most people believe they do things which their actions show they do not. I am waiting for someone to say, “No I hold on to stuff for years.” lol You are one of the first to be honest and say no.
It’s not easy to forgive someone for a truly bad act. I just cut ’em out of my life. Problem solved. 😃
I do the same. I don’t have the patience or time to deal with people .
Nope. My tolerance for bullshit has been low for a long time. 😃
I think as we get older we come to the realization that we don’t have to put up with nonsense.
Nope. Not for a second. 👍🏻
No I hold a grudge for decades, but I usually forget about it till someone reminds me. I also keep telling myself how stupid it is
At least you are honest. Most people answering this question say “yes”, which I know not every person is being honest.
I struggle with this as I’m a very emotionally charged person so my feelings tend to cloud my responses.
So are you saying it isn’t easy for you to forgive?
Yeah that would be accurate
It should be easier than it is for me. But nonetheless I do forgive. Often for selfish reasons…I just want to move on and not put any more energy into whatever the slight or wrong was.
I am finding therapy to be really helpful in talking through past situations and then verbalizing my forgiveness. Even without the person there it helps.
I agree. We have to let it go ourselves first.
Not if they have hurt me deeply. I tend to carry the resentment to the point where it only hurts me. Not good
That was the point of my post yesterday. When we hold on to things it only negates our ability to truly find joy and peace. All of those little things add up and they build up like a clog in a sink. I think we all need some spiritual and emotional Liquid Plummer.
Agreed. I’m a true example of what all that negative stuff can do. It’s cost me dearly.
Yes. Unreserve\dly YES. I have not always been that way; but, age has matured and softened me a lot.
Being able to forgive will make you healthier in the long run.
Yes, I always remind myself “Never to let anyone live rent free in my mind”
I love that. What a great analogy.