It is hard to explain really. I don’t think I will ever really be able to articulate how much faith I have acquired ever since I left religion, God, Jesus, and church in general.

Leaving took time. This feeling, this discovery, this realization did not really happen over night. It happened over time.

Growing up in a cult-like environment, I thought I had to fit a certain mold. I had to pray a certain way and singing in church was never an option, it was an obligation. I felt somehow that if I didn’t pray in a particular manner, or say “amen” as much as my adoptive parents did, somehow, I was not filled with the Holy Spirit.

There are scenarios of us at the table praying before we eat a meal and feeling inadequate. Feeling insufficiently prepared to be part of a spiritual world that justified slavery with a…