54 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question – 10/24/18

      1. Tough call. I honestly don’t know. I think it would depend on the circumstances and what was done. Sometimes, it might be best to cut your losses. If the person was that horrible, maybe it would be easier to think of the person that they loved as dead, and to think of the person, the monster, or horrible creature whom they have become as a stranger. I don’t have kids, so I really can’t answer that one. But very thought provoking question.

  1. I might be a desperate romantic, but I believe love can change people. And that some ”bad” people could probably become a better person, if given love and attention. But that might be the pink goggles talking…

      1. Sometimes, but view it from the giving end not the receiving end. If you had a family member that you loved so completely and they did something awful, would you completely cut them off and love them nevermore?

      2. Play hypothetical though. If you had a kid who did something bad, would you continue to love them or no love?

      3. Of course…how many parents love their children who are addicted to drugs? They have hope there will be change. They pray for healing. They still love their child. They may not be able to near him/her, but love doesn’t die.

      4. My point, to continue it further, is to then ask, where you would draw the line with loving the child? What would someone have to do for you to say “I’m not sure about this anymore.” ?

  2. A person who behaves badly, maybe even very badly and consistently, may deserve love, but that doesn’t mean a free pass on their bad actions. In fact, it could be said that in such a case, that allowing or imposing the consequences can be the loving thing to do, not in the spirit of vengeance or as a “this hurts me more than it does you” thing, but in the honest spirit of wanting the best for them. That said, it ain’t easy.

    1. True. Reading about Jeffrey Dahmer comes to my mind. His parents loved him despite the things he did and the monster that he became. I couldn’t imagine having a kid who the world viewed as a serial killer who ate people and having to find a way to love him.

      1. I think we should. I don’t think we do. And I think loving the unlovable is really really difficult.

  3. No. I know that will draw some angst and some comments that I lack compassion. But I know that there is evil in this world and it manifests itself anyway that it can. they don’t care about you, your loved ones nor anyone else. they could care less about how their actions impact others because the only think about themselves and no one else. don’t expect any sympathy from me if you’re found out.

    1. I kind of agree with you on this one. I can’t see me offering much love or sympathy to someone who kills people or touches kids.

      1. I get that but I believe people are more than what they do and if I was the mother of someone who did something horrific, I’m not sure as a mother I could not love my child. Do they deserve that love? Who am I to judge? Do I? I get your point though.

      2. When it comes to kids, I am conflicted and can only imagine what I would do. I can’t see not loving the child, but believe it would create the ultimate conflict.

      3. No I don’t think you overthink. This is a really really tough question and I think you did a wonderful job. 🙂

  4. I don’t blame Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents for what he did because he was an adult. And maybe some killers are redeemable. But can you imagine a big man molesting an infant or child or a killer killing them? The victim gets no say in what happened to them and if they survive, they’ll have those memories or injuries for the rest of their lives. If they are killed, their families suffer for the rest of theirs. Nah, can’t say that I could deal with that person if he/she was my child. Let them go on about their business and live their lives without me, for my own sanity.

  5. I think no matter what your child does you will always love them, I think that is something inbuilt to us. However, that doesn’t mean you will like them or if it was something really terrible you wouldn’t cut them off. You would still love them and I would take a guess, that as a parent you would feel guilt at whatever they have done, wondering what you did wrong

    1. It would be really hard though if they turned out to be a serial killer. Maybe a parent would compartmentalize into loving the person they were and forgetting about the person they became?

      1. I think you would still love your son or daughter, but hate the person they had become.

        I think a good example is Jamie Bulger, I don’t want to put a lot of details here (its horrific) but Jamie was a 3 year old boy who was murdered by 2 11 year old boys. Both sets of parents visited the 2 boys in prison.

  6. If one believes in any kind of Unconditional love from a prime source, that love is free to all. Nothing can or must be done to earn it but I do believe in our state of human existence we can limit ourselves in accepting and sharing that free love.

      1. Of course. It is the only means of salvation. They may not deserve empathy or help or understanding in many cases. But love is the only thing which connects us all. When someone is beyond change or reformation, they likely won’t notice the love given. But to harbor hatred and withold love would only hurt oneself. Forgiveness is not for the receiver. It is a gift for the one who forgives.

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