A Really Sad Reminder That Life Does Not Last Forever…
In the last 2 months I have lost 2 friends from high school. I wouldn’t say either were close friends now, but back in high school they were in my larger circle of friends. The latest friend to die was a girl named Tonya (name changed for privacy reasons) and her death has hit me fairly hard. When I was in high school my mom’s company did business with her mom and dad so she and I would talk here-n-there between classes and had kept in touch via Facebook.
She was a kind person who would often comment on my blog and/or FB posts with words of encouragement and always seemed interested in how I was doing as I dealt with the impacts of MS. She leaves behind a husband and 3 daughters ages 10, 13 and 17.
She was in relatively good health and went to bed one evening and died in her sleep. I cannot imagine how her family is feeling at this point and attempting to imagine their position leaves me feeling empty and incredibly sad.
I guess if you must die now that is about as peaceful a way to go as any other.
Tonya was my age and it is hard for me to accept I have gotten to the point in life when my friends are beginning to die. In a way it forces me to contemplate my own mortality. What have I done with my life? Am I wasting the time I have remaining? Am I spending enough time with my family? But more than these questions, I have been sad. And the sadness I feel is real and subtle. It isn’t a crying my eyes out sadness, but a foundational sadness, a tangible shaking in my soul, quiet type sadness. It is hard to explain, but it has disturbed my complacency.
This coming week Evelina and I will attend her funeral and I will see many friends from high school. Her family will bury her and life will begin to move again. Her husband will return to work eventually, her kids will return to school and life will continue on; minus a husband and a mom. The reality is their life will never be the same. October 31st will always have a different meaning. It will be sad in many ways. It will bring about happy memories. But life will never, ever be the same.
One day I hope someone has good things to say about me. It is difficult for me to imagine not being alive, but I understand there will come a day when all of my questions about the after-life will be answered.
I would prefer the after-life continue to be a mystery for many years to come.
Danny
Hi Danny, it’s really sad that you have to lose two friends.Our heart felt condolences .Let us do our best in the remaining part of our life.
Let us all of us wish and pray ‘death takes us peacefully..
Death-the last sleep ?
No-it’s the final awakening. ‘Walter Scot’
LikeLiked by 2 people
The final awakening…I like that.
LikeLike
That friend will continue to live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew her.
LikeLiked by 3 people
She definitely will. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart goes out to you! I understand what you mean about foundational sadness. Yes, life will go on, but each of us can be more aware of how we each affect another. We Are All Connected. OM ❤️🦋🌀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve lost several old friends that I know of, and probably classmates I haven’t kept track of. What you’re feeling is familiar, and my heart goes out accordingly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May the mystery remain so, for as long as you are content with it, and may your questions be peacefully answered when the time is right.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I appreciate it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The death of a friend is something that can really bring us up short and cause us to reflect on how transient life really is. It is a reminder to enjoy each day as best we can and to forgive often not spending our time in regrets and resentments. And just btw I think people will speak well of you when, about 100 years from now, you shuffle off this mortal coil.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you Anne!
LikeLike
At my age it is worse. The most sad is the young lives that disappear. At my age it’s a given. Sorry for the gpfamilies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Death is inevitable, but it brings me down a bit to think of her youngsters growing up without a mom.
LikeLike
🦋 Sadness is all around us and I feel for you today.
A beautiful post shared so well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🦋
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have expressed what I too feel very often. I wonder if it is a factor of age. I too am at that point, and I feel sadness and often regret and I so often ask myself those vey same questions.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sorry. It is definitely a sad reminder, that life is short. Enjoy it and appreciate life and all it has to offer while you can. Tell your loved ones you love them everyday, for you may not get another chance tomorrow. Live life to the fullest. Don’t live with regrets.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have been thinking about her death and subsequently, my life, every day. It really puts everything in perspective.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sure does. Hang in there. It gets better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This stage of life is hard to deal with. Each new day is a potential encounter with mortality. For me the thought of a life with no legacy is worse than death. Ideally, when death comes, I will have accomplished my goal.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And I just got a text that another old friend died last night! I guess these things happen in 3s.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s kind of unusual, these days, I think.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve lost several good friends in the past handful of years so I know how it feels. Hard to imagine I will never see them again. Makes me realize I have a lot of things I need and want to do before I go too.
LikeLike
Death is not the end Dray it’s the beginning of something beautiful and nothing to be feared. We all reunite eventually 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
But it is still sad for those left behind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is especially when they are so young, I got the news that my mum has between four and eight weeks to live yesterday which obviously makes me sad too but at least she is 87 but still very sad. We can’t chose what life span we have Danny we just have to accept it. We need to live in the moment and enjoy every day that we have.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sorry to hear about your mom. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
You will be in our prayers at my home. I totally understand loss. This past September 29th I lost my youngest son at age 48 to a heart attack. My oldest past away at age 31 in 1999 from the same. All my biological siblings are gone. I lost my father at age 9 on my birthday. He died of a heart attack as well. My mom died at age 87 in 2003. I still have a daughter living in Florida. I try to make sure we talk at least once a week.
We never know when it’s time to go home. The Lord calls us at his discretion. I’ve begun to think of death as graduation from this life to the next. It helps me keep in mind to hold dear the happy memories and not revisit funerals. Knowing I’ll see them again, it is easier to think more of a temporary separation. God bless.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so sorry that your son passed away. You are correct in that it is so easy to take things for granted when we don’t know how much time we have remaining.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Danny, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your friends. I understand how this situation can feel. Many of the people that I have lost over the years have shook me hard. It is generally a hard experience. On the bright side, 2 of them had introduced me to God and led me to this path of Christianity. Since knowing God, many of my questions regarding the after-life has been answered. I also feel confident that God would follow through in his promises to us because God does not lie. All we need to do is hold on tight to him and make him the center of our lives. I am so so sorry to hear about what you are going through Danny, I hope you can begin to feel better soon. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you.
If you are interested in knowing more about God from my perspective, I have a post about that here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/ And Here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/a-few-things-that-i-have-learned-about-god/
Stay strong brother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome
LikeLike
I can relate to your feeling right now .. I was in a similar situation some time back !!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mortality is not a fun subject, but we will all face it some day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
true …
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a few friends from high school so I understand how you feel. I experienced the same thoughts, wondering about my own mortality, if I’m spending enough time with family and have I realized my purpose and potential. These are all good things to think about. It reminds me of Ecclesiastes 7:2 which says, “Better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting, for that is the end of every man, and the living should take it to heart.” Here’s an article that may be helpful: https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&issue=2018-11&pub=g18&srcid=share
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hope all is well.
Danny
LikeLike