26 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question – 12/15/18

  1. Age I guess, when I was younger I seriously thought I made decisions for valid reasons, but looking back I can see that some were really excuses. It comes with maturity and I’m kinda getting there 😀

  2. It really depends on whether you have a a moral center or not. Also, there is an internal nagging voice that lets you know that sometimes you are making an excuse – even with a valid reason. That’s when that murky confusion comes to play.

  3. Sometimes, but only sometimes, the excuse is conscious, usually because we know that whatever it is we are explaining really is impulsive, stupid, embarrassing, wrong, or disapproved by the other person. Other times, it is just a way of avoiding thinking seriously about the question. And, yet other times it is the result of motivated reasoning and we choose to believe the justification. All that is generally after the fact. The truly valid reason is the result of forethought, premeditation and analysis leading to the decision to act.

    1. You used the word “justification” and I think this one thing is the key to the whole equation. Psychologists argue that justification is a defense mechanism to protect the self-image. Either the Id or the Ego needs to be protected and thus we justify our actions to avoid viewing ourselves as “less than”. Or something like that.

    1. I especially agree with the latter statement. I avoid excuses or at least try to be aware enough not to speak them out loud. If you surround yourself with quality people, they can see it before you ever say a word.

  4. I have learnt not to make excuses. I have learnt to be assertive , if I really don’t want to do something , be part of something or go somewhere I just say thanks but NO thanks. I am of course very polite about it.

  5. It will depend on who you are trying to gve the ‘valid’ reason to. Some won’t accept whatever you say whether it be a very good reason or just excusing you impoliteness.

    Me, I give up giving an excuse or quite valid reasons. I shouldn’t have to explain why I make a decision. My no is no. My yes is yes.

    What is important to me is probably not important to others.

    1. I am referring more to you and not how others perceive you. How do you know inside yourself that you are using a valid reason or making an excuse?

      1. It is possible, but generally I am honest for example going to the shops, its not something I generally do due to my anxiety, however it is something I can do, when thinking about going to the shops, I have to be honest with myself whether I am sending my partner because my anxiety is sky high or because I am being a lazy mare. If I was to lie to myself on that it wouldn’t help my recovery at all

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