Let Me Ask You a Question – 12/15/18

How do you know when you are using a valid reason versus making an excuse?

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26 thoughts on “Let Me Ask You a Question – 12/15/18

  1. It really depends on whether you have a a moral center or not. Also, there is an internal nagging voice that lets you know that sometimes you are making an excuse – even with a valid reason. That’s when that murky confusion comes to play.

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  2. Sometimes, but only sometimes, the excuse is conscious, usually because we know that whatever it is we are explaining really is impulsive, stupid, embarrassing, wrong, or disapproved by the other person. Other times, it is just a way of avoiding thinking seriously about the question. And, yet other times it is the result of motivated reasoning and we choose to believe the justification. All that is generally after the fact. The truly valid reason is the result of forethought, premeditation and analysis leading to the decision to act.

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    • You used the word “justification” and I think this one thing is the key to the whole equation. Psychologists argue that justification is a defense mechanism to protect the self-image. Either the Id or the Ego needs to be protected and thus we justify our actions to avoid viewing ourselves as “less than”. Or something like that.

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  3. It will depend on who you are trying to gve the ‘valid’ reason to. Some won’t accept whatever you say whether it be a very good reason or just excusing you impoliteness.

    Me, I give up giving an excuse or quite valid reasons. I shouldn’t have to explain why I make a decision. My no is no. My yes is yes.

    What is important to me is probably not important to others.

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      • It is possible, but generally I am honest for example going to the shops, its not something I generally do due to my anxiety, however it is something I can do, when thinking about going to the shops, I have to be honest with myself whether I am sending my partner because my anxiety is sky high or because I am being a lazy mare. If I was to lie to myself on that it wouldn’t help my recovery at all

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