Maybe being self-absorbed is the antithesis to self-awareness?
Maybe being self-absorbed is the antithesis to self-awareness?
Any time I scan Facebook I can’t help but think of a quote from Steven Furtick. But first here’s what makes me think of the quote.
I see so many smiling faces. Pictures of parties. Posing. Smiling. Family pics. More smiling. More posing. Everyone is doing it. Vacations. Exotic locations. Amusement parks.
Furtick said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Boy, what a powerful statement and so true about modern day society.
I am curious to see the psychological effect social media has on kids over the next 20 years. Constantly seeing everyone else’s highlight reel compared to your behind-the-scenes. The impact could be devastating.
I’m not sure if you are aware or not, but your habits are like seeds you plant in the ground, which one day will produce fruit. For those with better habits the fruit produced will be better health, more positive friends, more joy, more success, happiness, positivity, humility, love, patience, compassion, kindness etc. For those who have bad habits the fruit can be found in the form of negativity, anger, stress, envy, selfishness, violence and joylessness just to name a few.
If you want joy you have to sow joy in your life. You have to eat, sleep, breathe joy. If you don’t practice joy and develop habits of being joyful, then you will not understand what it is to be joyful. There is no magic wand to suddenly make you full of joy; you must practice it.
If you want more success professionally then you must practice the habits that will give you the best chance to be successful. If you want more positive, supportive friends then you must first practice being positive and supportive so you understand what characteristics to look for in potential friends.
If you want better health then you must begin to practice the habits that will allow you to gain better health. You must begin to get 7+ hours of sleep. You must begin to eat more vegetables. You must begin to exercise. You must avoid low-quality foods. You must begin drinking more water and fewer sodas.
All of these instances I have mentioned have particular habits associated with them and those habits are the seeds being sown. The results (i.e. better health, more joy, more patience, more compassion, etc.) are the fruits. And the reason the fruits are important is because wise people are judging you based on the fruits of your life; your boss, friends, family are all watching your habits. People are looking at your actions not your words.
One instance that immediately comes to my mind is the friend who continues to talk (complain) to me about something in their life that upsets them or something they are unhappy with. Most recently it was a friend who struggles with their health. I’ve listened for years to this person complain about how their body hurts-my feet hurt, my legs burn, my hips are killing me. Guess what I constantly see on their Facebook feed? Fast food photos, drinking sodas, funnel cakes, eating tons of processed foods, etc. I have watched this person’s actions (seed), which have produced a body which is breaking down (fruit). They are getting the result they should. They complain, but are not willing to begin sowing different types of seeds.
I will not be this type of person.
The gatekeepers of life will judge you based on the types of fruit you are producing, which is directly attributed to the types of habits you are sowing.
Maybe you aren’t getting what you want out of life because you are planting bad seed which is producing bitter fruit?
I understand effort is relative. As I listen to comments and watch people’s actions I notice there are people who truly believe they are working hard, but when compared to my work ethic they certainly are not. Then you can take my effort level and compare to others and you get the same result. As in life most things are completely depending on comparison; unless of course max effort is defined as one doing the best they can do.
When I think about effort I can also understand why some learn to only give a little. Maybe life has taught them that their best effort will not always result in them “winning” therefore they decided early in life that the effort was not worth it. Maybe some people don’t like to put in max effort because they want to fly under the radar. I know several people who have this attitude.
There are no guarantees, but that shouldn’t deter us from working to our max ability.
Let’s be honest, unless you are a sociopath devoid of emotion there’s going to be a time when you are hurt by someone’s words. I am no different. As a matter of fact, things others say can have a dramatic impact on me. I don’t like the feeling of knowing someone out in the world doesn’t like me.
I have learned that I will never be able to control what other people say or do, but I can control how I react. I have to constantly remind myself of this fact.
Sometimes success isn’t found when you find the right path, but in finding the right person. For me this was definitely the case. I spent many years throwing ideas against the proverbial wall only to experience failure after failure. I lacked focus and ambition. I was a wisher, not a doer. I saw things I wanted, but was not able to construct the path to get to the goal.
All of that changed when I met my wife Evelina. In her I found my focus and successes would soon follow. I cannot explain why this happened except that she believed in me more than I believed in myself and she did not allow me to make excuses.
All those years I was looking for the right thing to do, when all along I needed the right person.
I opened up Facebook this morning to check the Dream Big fan page and the first post I see on my personal page is “I hope today is a better day than yesterday”. Apparently this person had a bad day yesterday and was speaking to the universe in order to gain favor and have a great day today. I wonder, though, if having a good or bad day is up to us or up to happenstance?
I believe we are each the author of our own life. We have the power in our mind to maintain perspective and keep a positive view of things which in turn helps to make every day a better day. To hope for a better day, in my opinion, is all about attitude. You either allow events to impact you so greatly that you take on a bad mood…or you let events run off you like water off a duck’s back. Of course I am talking about daily life stuff, not death, critical injuries, miscarriages, disease diagnoses, etc.
I try to maintain the perspective that I am in control of the way I respond to what happens around me throughout the day. I cannot control what happens but I can control me.
This last couple of weeks have been good for me on several levels. Vacation gave me some time to rest and evaluate where I am in relation to my goals. I was also able to evaluate my effort level. I had fallen in a bit of a rut and I needed a little kick in the seat to get inspired. I’m not saying I had become lazy because I work diligently.
The truth is my effort was not at the level required to get me to my goals; and I have huge goals. I have set my sights on being one of the top sales professionals in my company and my efforts were not reflecting “top of the list” effort. So from here on out that changes.
I believe that people underestimate themselves and I see it every day in people’s work ethic. Most people demonstrate a “good enough” attitude and effort. That is why there are so few at the top and so many closer to the bottom.
I am not a bottom-feeder.
On occasion I will have someone read my page and then ask me about my political or religious views; 2 things I do not openly discuss. The usual question revolves around my feelings about the current Trump presidency or some policy or issue the media is cramming down our throats. Here’s my political statement: I don’t care.
Now before you freak out let me explain. I don’t care because I am not able to determine the truth. The liberal media lies. The conservative media lies. The politicians lie. Facebook is a lie. Facts are not truth and fake news is the norm. And because of all these factors I have completely disconnected from it all.
I know there are some who read my page who are deeply rooted in politics and I respect that fact. It just isn’t for me. I read pages whose authors are knee-deep in arguments against Trump and I don’t see any fruit in their life except frustration. “You’d sing a different tune if Trump affected you more!” Well to be honest the immigration laws affect Evelina and I on serious levels seeing that she is not currently a citizen. The U.S. can deport her at their discretion.
The truth is I don’t discuss my political views because people are crazy. Social media has created a group of people who want to argue simply to argue. And I have noticed the more liberal a person’s world-view, the less open-minded they actually become-which means more arguing. The conservative political agenda is to protect commerce and the liberal agenda is to argue against anyone who disagrees. Both are liars.
All politicians lie. The media lies. Therefore why would I spend 2 seconds of my energy participating in a world of liars?
No thank you is my answer.
I have added quite a few followers since my last “facts about me” post so I thought I’d tell you all a little bit about me (check out my bio page for more):
I enjoy these types of posts and hope you enjoyed learning a little about me. Have a great week folks!