Unfortunately I need to go see my neurologist. I have noticed over the last few weeks that my symptoms are flaring up much more than usual. This usually means a new lesion is causing an exacerbation. When this occurs my limbs experience more pain than normal, which is incredibly uncomfortable.
Right now I am experiencing lightning flash pains in my legs that take my breathe away at times. Also, I have been losing feeling in my left hand, which is a brand new symptom for me. I’ve had hand pain in the past, but I’ve never experienced numbness. The most annoying symptom is the return of the headaches. I don’t want to go back on meds, but I also don’t want to burden Evelina with my constant complaining about the pain.
It has been a minute since I updated everyone on the MS front so here goes. I have been off all my medications for about a year. I will take the occasional pain pill, but I try to limit those because they are dangerous. I stopped taking my injections of Copaxone in May of 2016 simply because I was worn out from giving myself an injection 3 times per week for nearly 3 years.
Without the medications I simply have to tough it out. It isn’t easy, but I prefer the pain to all of the side effects of the pills. I’m not sure which is worse, MS or the medicines used to treatment MS.
My two primary symptoms that I deal with are fatigue and lightning flash pains. The fatigue I manage as best I can and have learned to rest a lot on the weekends. There are still times when I am asleep at night before 9. I joke with Evelina that I’m just getting older and eventually you’ll find me at the cafeteria at 4:45 pm eating dinner.
For my fellow MSers you understand the flash pains. They are the ultimate in shooting pains in my hips, legs, elbows and hands. They hurt pretty bad, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Like I said, for now I’ll deal with them versus taking carbamazepine.
All-in-all I cannot complain too much. I am sure there is someone in this world who would gladly switch places with me. Isn’t life funny like that? We think we have struggles until we read the story of someone who is fighting an incredible battle.
I hope everyone takes time be thankful for the simple pleasures of being able to walk. It it so easy to take it for granted.
I know a lot of my readers suffer from chronic pain and I try to be an example of how to fight back. Today I went for a quick walk. I didn’t want to and my body yelled at me every step of the way, but I know I have to do it. I look at exercise like this…if I don’t force my body to move, then MS wins. I know a lot of you don’t exercise because you have told me so. You have said it hurts too bad. You have said you are too tired. I get it.
I almost had to call Evelina to come and get me, but I didn’t. I willed myself to finish what I started because in the long run it will benefit me more than sitting around doing nothing. Do you think I want to? No, I would rather sit and do nothing.
To those who tell me they cannot I would challenge you to begin thinking about what you can do instead of what you cannot do. If you can only walk to the end of the driveway then do so. If you can do arm lifts from your chair, then do so. If you can swim in the pool, then do so. Do what you can do, but don’t settle for doing nothing.
And it begins by putting one foot in front of the other.