The world is changing rapidly. Just when you think you have the latest television technology something new is released. Mobile phone technology is advancing so quickly that soon we will not actually have to have the device on us to call others. We get news at the moment it happens. We are connected more than ever before; and yet humans have never been more depressed.
Change is not always a good thing, but it is the only thing that remains the same. We can fight it, resist it, deny it, doubt it, but change is happening regardless.
Staying “busy” is one of the biggest distraction on the planet, but it doesn’t always mean one is doing their best or being productive. And many wear “busy” like a badge of honor all the while failing to realize they are stuck in the same spot; like a car spinning its wheels stuck in mud.
I get a lot done in a week, but am cautious not to fall into the trap of running around doing extra stuff just to feel busy. I also avoid using phrases like “I’ve just got so much to do” or “I’d love to but I don’t have time”. I’m not a fan of the “no time” excuse. When I sense I am struggling with time, I take a moment and conduct a process check; basically take a time out. Then I look at how I’m using my time and most often I find that I am not working or scheduling my time effectively.
At any rate, if you struggle with being “busy” I encourage you to conduct a process check on your use of your time.
I was hiking at Clifty Falls State Park near Madison Indiana when I came across this beautiful scene. I caught the sun as it slid beneath the rugged hillside that surrounds Little Clifty Falls and the bridge that spans it. Timing is such a major player in photography and once again I ended up at the right place at the right time !!
Getting criticized isn’t easy, but if it is constructive it can help you be better; that is, if you are open enough to hear. There are times when Evelina will challenge me with constructive criticism and my first reaction is to defend. Isn’t that normal? Don’t we all react defensively when faced with criticism?
I think the key is to take some time and consider the merits of any criticism to judge it objectively. If you put your ego to the side you might learn something about yourself. After all, others might not see you in the same light that you see yourself; and that’s not always a bad thing.
I like helping others although I will admit I don’t always like people. For the most part I don’t like crowds and it seems that our society is becoming more self-absorbed and selfish. I know there are a lot of quality people in the world, I just don’t see a lot of them on a daily basis.
I have a personal mission statement that states: “seek to add value to the world around me.” This means each day I work to be patient, teach, lead by example, practice generosity, etc. I don’t always achieve this mission statement, but it is usually at the forefront of my mind.
Do you have a personal mission statement? I’d love to read your comments if you do. Also, in a general sense, do you like people?
One of the joys of blogging is it serves as a source of therapy. I’m able to purge out things that I would normally hold in. To me it has always been a little weird that I share things on my blog for all to read that I don’t share openly to people who I know in the “real world”.
To continue the practice of transparency, I wanted to tell you guys and gals that I have started seeing a therapist. I’ve been kicking the idea around for a couple of years, but finally found a practice via Google that I felt comfortable in seeing. My first appointment was this past Thursday and it went well. I will admit that the dynamic of telling a stranger my inner thoughts is a bit uncomfortable, but I think it will be great for me in the long run. In its basic form therapy is simply talking and I love to talk!
To protect identities I will call my therapist Dr. Kate as I’m sure I’ll refer to her here-and-there. Our first session was a get-to-know-you type talk about what I hope to achieve through talk therapy and a little bit about my background. My goals are to understand how to be a better husband to Evelina and to work through some of the root causes for some of my more neurotic behaviors. I’m laughing as I type this because I didn’t realize how much I hold inside that I don’t say out loud. The vast majority of our thoughts never leave our mind; a fact I had not ever considered until this session. Most of us live a life in our mind that others never, ever see. No wonder there is so much depression in the world.
At any rate I’ll be documenting my journey and some of the things I learn about myself. Hope you enjoy the ride.
Quite a few of you have emailed me asking about the post I wrote a few days back about Seth Godin’s concept of building a “tribe” and engaging with people who care. One of the toughest things to do in life is to get an idea or thought or invention to spread through a population. As bloggers this is a common goal: “I want to get my page to more people.”
But what if this is the wrong goal? I’ve always said you don’t need everybody, you just need the right bodies. If you manage to find the right group of people to connect with AND they buy-in to what it is that you are doing, then they will do most of the work for you. Ultimately what you have to do is lead them.
I see 2 common mistakes among bloggers who desire to grow: they don’t find their tribe and/or they don’t lead their tribe. Topics on which one could build a tribe could be: golfing with hickory shafted clubs, love for a particular genre of anime comic books, a fan club for a specific race car driver or the love of a particular band. In my opinion the passion needs to be specific, not general. iPhone enthusiasts stand in line, in the rain, all night to be the first to have the latest Apple phone product and then tell everyone in their life what they did and how awesome the new phone is. No one forced them to do anything, they choose to do it of their own freewill because they have passion for the latest Apple smart phone innovations. Their passion is much more specific than technology in general or mobile phone technology for that matter. The passion comes from their love of Apple and more specifically, the iPhone.
Do you see my point? Sometimes bloggers spin their wheels in a mud pit of frustration because no one will listen to them all the while posting content that is incredibly similar to what thousands of other bloggers are already posting. The fact is that if you are ordinary (too much like everyone else), then you are invisible. Maybe you need to get more specific and say something that no one else is saying and then get that message out to the right group in order to begin building your community?
Carol Graham is one of my most favourite people on Facebook. She works tirelessly for other authors and her radio show is heard all over the world. It was one of the nicest radio interviews I’ve ever done, such a lovely friendly lady. Carol has not had an easy time of it but she’s a survivor.
Carol Graham has survived the challenges of major illnesses, devastating personal losses and financial ruin more than once, yet has refused to become a victim.
She writes for several monthly columns in various publications. She has been published in many anthologies including a best-seller. In 2015, Carol received the Woman of Impact Award from Focus on Women Magazine and Author of the Year for her memoir, Battered Hope.
Carol hosts a bi-weekly show “Never Ever Give Up Hope,” is an international keynote speaker, jewelry store owner and a certified health coach. Carol has…
“Man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.” – W. S. Gilbert –
No, I seriously don’t think that quote by Gilbert is a fair one. As much as I like our funny simian cousins, especially in their natural habitat, I don’t believe that monkeys can define friendship the way we do; at least not consciously.
In my book, friendship is a relationship between two or more people who hold mutual affection among them. This mutual affection can be caused by lots of things. It can be caused by the needs to be able to trust someone, the needs to receive affection and sympathy, the needs to share ideas and experiences, and many others. However, there is one that I always think is the most important reason of all, and that’s the needs to be yourself, and thus to be able to express your feelings and make mistakes…
My favourite time of year is approaching. I kid you not I love Christmas! Not for the commercial aspect of gifts, but for the quality time I get to spend with my friends and family it means a lot. I also get to cook up a storm in the kitchen, I love cooking. To get into the holiday swing Not Just For Christmas a romance novella is on sale on Amazon .99p and .99$ for a limited time.
About The Book:
In Not Just For Christmas readers are taken on a romantic journey set in London, during the festive season following two characters originally opposed to each other fall in love. There’s enough warmth and sensuality to keep readers warm at any time of year.
As Christmas draws near thirty five year old social worker Ava Green, finds herself desperate to not be alone at her favourite time of year…