Musings on My Father, on His Birthday (Part 2)

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Nutsrok

Five kids

Back left, Linda Swain Bethea, holding Connie Swain Miller’s hands, Middle Back Billy Swain, Back Right Phyllis Swain Barrington holding Marilyn Swain Grisham.  Picture made about 1961

parents wedding pic

Bill Swain and Kathleen Holdaway Swain, June 29, 1945

https://nutsrok.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/musings-on-my-father-on-his-birthday-part-1

When I reflect on my father’s life, it is odd to think I am several years older now than he was when he died at fifty-seven.  He had retired, all five of his children were grown and on their own, and his life was no longer a struggle.  He had realized his dream and had large herds of cattle on two farms.  He had mellowed out and life was good.  He died only three weeks after being diagnosed with a brain tumor in December, 1981.

When puzzling out his behavior, I now realize Daddy’s moods were bipolar.  He was extremely quick to anger, irritable, easily offended.  The worst thing his children could do was to…

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Dear Dad

This is Survivor Road!

survivor road

I know you died almost 5 years ago today, but this isn’t something I’ve wanted to do. Until now.
I had actually meant to call you earlier that week. I had been thinking about the days you spent teaching me to ride horseback – and the first day I soloed in your airplane after you spent countless hours patiently teaching me.
But I didn’t call. Because I also remembered the other stuff. The pain, humiliation, never being good enough – being the butt of all your jokes… The other things never spoken of. My own son still didn’t understood why I never took him to see his grandfather after his grandmother passed away. And he was angry with me for a long time when he realized he’d never see you again. Someday I may share with him why.
I want you to know Dad, the pain hasn’t left – the…

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July 1993

Meet Michael’s Origins!

Michael Rios

It was a warm summers day as most days are in California. The conifer tree in front raining it’s needles and cones. The rose bush displaying new blossoms filled with red, white and pink petals producing perfumes of heaven.

The walnut tree lives in back, a gigantic one at that, starting to shows signs of maturity a few more months and they will be ready. The peach trees that are in back as well showing signs of seasons end.

People coming and going some with smiles while others more serious.

A lady took Mom to the back of the house to talk, while my brother Steve and I stepped out in front near the Conifer tree. The air was still as we talked to each other. It was peaceful on this warm day in July.

Out of nowhere, a strong wind came up. I did not feel it on my…

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