I Cry Today

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I divide my life into two distinct categories-my memories prior to 9/11 and life that existed after 9/11. I could not watch today without reliving the emotions of that day as I have every year since. As it is difficult to believe 15 years have passed it is even harder to believe there are college kids who only know of this day through the images that replay and the stories they’ve heard.

Life moves quickly. But for me time seems to stand still when I watch the images from that day. As if my emotions have been stored forever in a capsule that is opened each time I watch the events unfold. They are fresh just as they were that day. The pain is still real. The fear is still there. The overwhelming sadness still robs my soul of compassion.

I want to tell those jumpers that everything will be okay. But I know that is a lie. I’ll try to imagine the desperation they must have felt. The burning pain that must have existed to convince them the only solution was to jump. I want to catch them and hold them. But I cannot.

I cry today as I did 15 years ago.

I still battle the demons inside that wish death of those who perpetrated the attacks. I want them and everyone like them to suffer. But I also know this is not going to bring those who died back to life. So I cry this morning watching the replay as I have every single year since that day. I’ll think about how life is different now compared to then. I’ll thank God above for my wife and family. And then on Monday morning I will go to work and my life will start up once again. I guess that is how it is supposed to go. I guess this is how it is supposed to be.

Being childlike without being childish

Possibly one of my favorite attributes of children is how quickly they forgive and move on with life. Also, they make friends easily.

Flatlander Faith

“When I became a man I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

That would be things like:

-wanting to be the centre of attention
-wanting to be entertained
-wanting what somebody else has
-wanting other people to do what I want
-feeling sorry for myself when things don’t go the way I want
-trying to get even
-boasting
-whining
-not admitting when I have done something wrong
-blaming somebody else

“And a little child shall lead them” (Isaiah 11:6)

” Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3-4).

Childlike qualities:

-willing to trust
-taking delight in unexpected beauty
-feeling happy because others are happy
-feeling sad when others are hurt
-giving without counting the cost
-forgiving
-eager to learn

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Wickedness and Goodness

Great post. Bull fighting is a horrific event.

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controversialcook

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This image never fails to touch and disturb me deeply.

It shows a matador that during a Corrida has a breakdown, sat down in front of the bull that he was trying to kill and started crying. After that particular corrida (bullfight) the matador whose name is Alvaro Munera gave up bullfighting for good.

A poignant part of the image for me though is the bull shown already punctured and hurt by several spears inflicted on him by Picadores mounted on horses to weaken him. The bull is bleeding heavily and as he looks at the matador he seems to be saying: ”Why have you done this to me? What have I done to you to deserve it? I’ve never meant any harm to you.”

I went to a corrida during a  vacation in Spain when I was young out of curiosity to see what it was all about and I was…

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The Art of Forgiveness

Forgiving can be difficult, especially when we’ve been betrayed and/or been lied to. In the end all roads, mistakes lead us to learn a little more about ourselves.

Seeking a Life Full of Laughter

The hardest and bravest thing we do in life, is to forgive people who hurt us. Especially when the hurt is because the person failed to value, respect, or honor us as an individual.

The art of forgiveness means not only do we let go of the anger and pain by loving the person who hurt us, but also requires difficult choices. It requires us to do the right thing, not the easiest thing.

We are not perfect beings, and we all will be guilty of hurting others in our lifetime. Either through intentional action or thoughtless words, we all falter. Being able to forgive means we can learn to accept those faults in others, as well as ourselves. It frees us.

I have been in several situations in my life, where I had to put this art to the test. Each time it was with a pounding heart, shaking…

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