I believe it is important to take stock in how one acts. It is easy to continue on as you have always done, oblivious to how it impacts those around you. Some will even justify their actions with statements like “that’s just the way I am”.
For me, that is not good enough and I expect more of myself than that.
The wise person doesn’t continue on as they always have. The wise person evaluates their actions and changes when they realize they need to change.
A while back I wrote a post called Life Lessons Learned at an Old Golf Course in which I talked about my youth growing up on a old, abused golf course called Sunset Hills. That
post is still one of my favorites and you should take a few minutes to read. Anyway, one of the cast of characters was a guy who actually worked for one of our sister courses Paradise Valley Golf Course.
Paradise Valley was a short, 9-hole course located in the north part of Charlotte on what is now a shopping center. It was a fun track and it was right across the street from UNC-Charlotte where I attended college so you can imagine my break between classes involved some golf. And almost every time I went over to Paradise Valley or the range a familiar face was waiting: Robert Earl Maybin, Sr. Or as I always called him…Bob.
Bob was a funny guy and to say he was a character is the understatement of the century. There isn’t a week goes by that I don’t think back on many things Bob would say. At this time I was around 19 or so and Bob would have been in his mid-30s. He was a portly fellow who wore a trimmed beard and smoked a pipe. My memories of him involved him giving me advice or telling me a story while packing that pipe. And the aroma was great. I even remember the type of tobacco he smoked which was Captain Black!
I worked with Bob until I left the golf course in 1998 and Bob would finally leave go back to selling cars. Bob and I kept in touch and actually became golfing buddies. We would play everywhere together. I was a PGA Professional at that time so I could get us on some of the top tracks in North Carolina. We would ride, play, gamble and laugh; mostly me laughing at him. Looking back on his stories, I don’t think Bob was trying to be funny, but I laughed anyway. He was a good friend.
Bob eventually moved to Myrtle Beach which disrupted our golf, but I would still visit him every time I went to Cherry Grove Beach, which was only 30 minutes or so from his house. We would meet at a little southern cooking joint called Magnolia on 26th and catch up. And it was as if we had never missed a beat.
In 2010 I tried to get in touch with Bob via text but I never got a response. I was afraid I knew why he wasn’t responding. About 6 months of texting and I found out from a mutual friend that Bob had passed away. It was tough to think that Bob had died and I wasn’t there at his funeral. I’m not sure why he died, but suspect it was a heart attack.
My memories of Bob are vivid. I wax nostalgic thinking back to those days at Sunset Hills gambling with him, learning about life and losing money. I smile when I hear his voice in my memories and it makes me 20 years old again to envision seeing him unloading his clubs from the trunk of his Firebird as I pull up in a golf cart to meet him.
I miss my friend and always will. RIP Robert Earl Maybin, Sr. You meant more to me than I ever told you and I hope you knew it.
I’m not sure if you are aware or not, but your habits are like seeds you plant in the ground, which one day will produce fruit. For those with better habits the fruit produced will be better health, more positive friends, more joy, more success, happiness, positivity, humility, love, patience, compassion, kindness etc. For those who have bad habits the fruit can be found in the form of negativity, anger, stress, envy, selfishness, violence and joylessness just to name a few.
If you want joy you have to sow joy in your life. You have to eat, sleep, breathe joy. If you don’t practice joy and develop habits of being joyful, then you will not understand what it is to be joyful. There is no magic wand to suddenly make you full of joy; you must practice it.
If you want more success professionally then you must practice the habits that will give you the best chance to be successful. If you want more positive, supportive friends then you must first practice being positive and supportive so you understand what characteristics to look for in potential friends.
If you want better health then you must begin to practice the habits that will allow you to gain better health. You must begin to get 7+ hours of sleep. You must begin to eat more vegetables. You must begin to exercise. You must avoid low-quality foods. You must begin drinking more water and fewer sodas.
All of these instances I have mentioned have particular habits associated with them and those habits are the seeds being sown. The results (i.e. better health, more joy, more patience, more compassion, etc.) are the fruits. And the reason the fruits are important is because wise people are judging you based on the fruits of your life; your boss, friends, family are all watching your habits. People are looking at your actions not your words.
One instance that immediately comes to my mind is the friend who continues to talk (complain) to me about something in their life that upsets them or something they are unhappy with. Most recently it was a friend who struggles with their health. I’ve listened for years to this person complain about how their body hurts-my feet hurt, my legs burn, my hips are killing me. Guess what I constantly see on their Facebook feed? Fast food photos, drinking sodas, funnel cakes, eating tons of processed foods, etc. I have watched this person’s actions (seed), which have produced a body which is breaking down (fruit). They are getting the result they should. They complain, but are not willing to begin sowing different types of seeds.
I will not be this type of person.
The gatekeepers of life will judge you based on the types of fruit you are producing, which is directly attributed to the types of habits you are sowing.
Maybe you aren’t getting what you want out of life because you are planting bad seed which is producing bitter fruit?
Fun was had last night at the wedding and afterward Evelina and I stopped by the German restaurant for a little night cap before heading home. As a result, I feel like my head was run over by a Greyhound bus. Sluggish and lethargic are the words of the day.
I’m not sure what is going on, but there is this huge fire thing in the sky. I keep seeing it peek through the clouds and I am concerned for all of humanity. I believe the end of the world is at hand and this giant fire is here to purge the world. Now I’m sad.
After watching the Tony Awards last Sunday (we actually finished watching them today) I guess it is fitting to have a Musical Blog Post!Another good song line would be “Time Keeps On Slipping Into The Future” (Fly Like An Eagle, Steve Miller Band).
I just can’t believe that it is half way through the month of June in the year 2017! I thought it was just yesterday that we were saying Happy New Year. But of course, that couldn’t be true because we are in our new place and only have been for a month…a MONTH, and we haven’t finished unpacking yet.
My husband’s nephew is graduating this week. I remember when we went to see them in the hospital just after he was born. I looked after him for the first year of his life. He is so tall, handsome and smart, but he wasn’t…
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I’ve realized that life can be pretty simple. It’s usually (not always) as hard as you make it. Many aspects of life work this way – relationships, “success”, self-acceptance, etc.
A major part of living a simple life is having basic principles that guide you. While I definitely don’t have the entire key to a good life, I can share some insight that I’ve gained from experience, and some that I’ve stolen from various other smart people over time.
This dragonfly lives simply. It striked some fab poses for me as well. Be like the dragonfly.
This will likely be a multi-post series, because that’s only necessary for something of this nature. Life is always changing, and I definitely don’t wish to impose any of these ideas on anyone. If anything, I hope they can inspire you or make you think at the very least.
(hold your applause…)
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The other night after work, I attended “Beer Tasting” sponsored by our employee club at work.
It started out innocent enough, with one beer, a small plastic cup and a lot of anticipation from the 15 or so participants.
The first beer was a Pilsner, which tasted all right, but our expectations wouldn’t just accept a normal tasting beer like that. We might as well have been drinking Tuborg or Carlsberg, which are known over the whole world.
Beer number 2, Belgian Tripel was a far cry from the first Pilsner. Things were looking up, and the chips and nuts began to fly as well.
I apologize for not setting things in the correct order, but there was talking, and laughing, and my boss to my right who felt that I wasn’t enjoying myself enough with those small cups of beer, so he helped me attain another state of reality.
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The other day I received an email in my inbox in which the person stated I am their favorite personal development blogger. I was incredibly appreciative, of course, and told this reader how grateful I am. The funny thing is I don’t label myself as a personal development blogger or guru. As a matter of fact, I try to distance myself from those types of bloggers.
It is interesting how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. The only thing I try to do is help others who might be struggling in the same ways I struggle. The personal development pages I follow leave out one important thing: being personal. They want to give life tips, but rarely do they ever reveal anything personal about themselves.
I see myself as a guy trying to be a better person who makes a lot of mistakes, but who truly cares. If that makes me a personal development blogger in other’s eyes then I guess I am. The truth is I would rather people simply label me as Danny.
