While conducting personal research on qualities to look for when choosing a partner, I fell into this article on arranged marriages. I first learned of this practice as a young adult and immediately dismissed it as ridiculous and empathized with women who didn’t have a voice in choosing their partner and were forced into marriage without love being a part of the equation. Thirty years and a different mindset later, I’ve learned that a major disadvantage is lacking knowledge of what love really is, and choosing partners for the wrong reasons based on skewed value systems. Of course, if the family background is one of dysfunction, like mine, it’s possible you still might do a little better in your choices than your parents based on what you saw growing up. I automatically ruled out the absence of a job and a lifestyle that increased the odds of jail time. The…
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A Really Sad Reminder That Life Does Not Last Forever…
In the last 2 months I have lost 2 friends from high school. I wouldn’t say either were close friends now, but back in high school they were in my larger circle of friends. The latest friend to die was a girl named Tonya (name changed for privacy reasons) and her death has hit me fairly hard. When I was in high school my mom’s company did business with her mom and dad so she and I would talk here-n-there between classes and had kept in touch via Facebook.
She was a kind person who would often comment on my blog and/or FB posts with words of encouragement and always seemed interested in how I was doing as I dealt with the impacts of MS. She leaves behind a husband and 3 daughters ages 10, 13 and 17.
She was in relatively good health and went to bed one evening and died in her sleep. I cannot imagine how her family is feeling at this point and attempting to imagine their position leaves me feeling empty and incredibly sad.
I guess if you must die now that is about as peaceful a way to go as any other.
Tonya was my age and it is hard for me to accept I have gotten to the point in life when my friends are beginning to die. In a way it forces me to contemplate my own mortality. What have I done with my life? Am I wasting the time I have remaining? Am I spending enough time with my family? But more than these questions, I have been sad. And the sadness I feel is real and subtle. It isn’t a crying my eyes out sadness, but a foundational sadness, a tangible shaking in my soul, quiet type sadness. It is hard to explain, but it has disturbed my complacency.
This coming week Evelina and I will attend her funeral and I will see many friends from high school. Her family will bury her and life will begin to move again. Her husband will return to work eventually, her kids will return to school and life will continue on; minus a husband and a mom. The reality is their life will never be the same. October 31st will always have a different meaning. It will be sad in many ways. It will bring about happy memories. But life will never, ever be the same.
One day I hope someone has good things to say about me. It is difficult for me to imagine not being alive, but I understand there will come a day when all of my questions about the after-life will be answered.
I would prefer the after-life continue to be a mystery for many years to come.
To some degree we all judge other people. So, let me ask you a question:
What is something for which you are quick to judge others?
Let me ask you a question:
Who was your best friend in elementary school?
Sometimes I get super excited like a kid getting ready for a visit from Santa. When I get to play Santa with special gifts for someone I love it takes it to a whole other level. I will literally stop people on the street to tell them what awesome treat I have in store for so-and-so. I seriously feel like I am bursting at the seams with excitement and anticipation. It is a spectacular feeling. There’s an innocence and excitement to it that fill me with a childlike wonder and joy.
A couple of years ago my husband had a milestone birthday. I was trying to find ways to celebrate him in a way that he would enjoy. He is hesitant to have people over because he gets stuck in perfectionism, then the social stall kicks in and the end result is we rarely have adults over. So I knew…
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Ive often felt like I’ve failed my friends. Infact, i know i have. Ive been the one that chose a relationship over a friendship, I’ve ditched people to move away and on to something else (usually only to return with my tail between my legs!), so its fair to say that through my own poor choices I’ve lost what i once considered good friends.
We naturally change friends as we go through life. We meet like-minded individuals and then our minds grow and develop, sometimes leaving said friendship faltering behind. Its not every time we lose a friendship that we actually feel that its a loss.
And then theres times when your completely taken off guard and all of a sudden those you considered your close friends seem to be withdrawing themselves from your life. The chatting slows, the tone changes, meet ups are few and far between. And no…
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I can’t believe it’s been fifteen years. December 29, 2002 to be exact. Fifteen years ago today, my dear sister in-law Joanne was killed by a drunk driver. Joanne was an ER nurse on her way to work when she was cruelly taken away by a drunk driver at 6 o’clock in the morning. I had spoken to her briefly on Christmas day, she was busy and I knew I could catch up with her later. Later never came.
Nothing is more jolting than the phone ringing at 7 am, especially when your family lives out of state. My mother called me to tell me the terrible news about Joanne. She had been killed in a car accident. I could barely breathe, Joanne and I were very close. She had been a part of my family for 17 years. I remember when I first met Joanne. I told my brother…
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