My Week 212: Doing The Math


Math Story 1

The other day, Ken and I were having a discussion about the newest educational fad: Growth Mindset. This is fancy term, based on “brain research”, that people can learn to do things if they BELIEVE they can do them. So you can see why it’s so fancy and all—pretty complex stuff. And you can also see why Boards of Education are spending money like crazy to teach people how to implement it in the classroom. I’m sure there’s nothing more motivating to a struggling student than yelling at them “If you can see it, you can be it!” (Growth Mindset sounds suspiciously like the lyrics to an R. Kelly song. He believed he could fly, although I don’t think that worked out too well for him). I wish my high school math teacher had quoted Boyz to Men to me—for sure, I’d be a quantum physicist now, instead…

View original post 969 more words

Stop Smiling for Every Damn Picture You Take or Someone Takes of You!

Lifting Taboos


I grew up in a family where the outside was more important than the inside. It didn’t matter how much sexual, emotion, physical, verbal, spousal, sibling, or narcissistic abuse was in the home. It didn’t matter if incontinence pervaded the family, night terrors prevented us children from getting a good night’s sleep, 20+ dogs barked all night making a peaceful sleep impossible, exotifying of the adopted kids made us feel uncomfortable and took over our lives.

What mattered was what people saw on the outside.

“Say Cheese!” we heard our parents say. Even if we were not feeling it. Even if our lower parts hurt because we were being molested.

It didn’t matter that our ear lobes hurt because our father would pull them super hard if we didn’t listen. It didn’t matter that our noses hurt because we were forced to place our noses on the refrigerator for long…

View original post 1,319 more words

A Matter of Perspective: Changing The Way We Think About Our Chronic Illness

Reclaiming HOPE

A Matter Of Perspective: Changing How We Think About Our Chronic Illness

I have a dear friend whose grandson is exceptionally bright and observant. Whenever we see each other, I look forward to her “Colton Stories.” The last one went something like this: He started asking his grandparents if they drove on the grass. Whenever they told him no, he would say, “Mama drives on the grass.” Of course, his mom denied it, but they just could not convince him that she didn’t drive on the grass. It took them a while, but they finally figured how why he was so convinced that she did. From his vantage point in his car seat all he could see beside him was grass. He didn’t have sight of the road so he thought it wasn’t there.

My favorite part of the story came at the very end…. My friend was on the way to the mall with Colton and his mom and he pointed…

View original post 494 more words

Happy 174th Birthday Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche


Today is the 174th birthday of the man that originated the quote “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Nietzsche. A lot of his quotes ring true with me and I have placed them throughout his biography below. The world is a better place because he is in it and still feels the loss that he has left.


NAME: Friedrich Nietzsche
OCCUPATION: Philosopher, Scholar
BIRTH DATE: October 15, 1844
PLACE OF BIRTH: Röcken bei Lützen, Germany
DEATH DATE: August 25, 1900
PLACE OF DEATH: Weimar, Germany
CAUSE OF DEATH: Cancer – Brain
REMAINS: Buried, Röcken Kirchhof, Röcken, Germany
EDUCATION: University of Bonn, University of Leipzig, Domgymnasium, Schulpforta

BEST KNOWN FOR: Influential German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is known for his writings on good and evil, the end of religion in modern society and the…

View original post 661 more words

5 Signs You’re Actually the Toxic One in a Friendship (


If you’ve ever had a toxic friend, you know just how difficult and draining it can be.

There are different kinds of toxicity, from energy vampires all the way to the far end where the abusers, narcissists and sociopaths exist. But every kind of toxic person creates a burden that can be difficult to overcome.


But what about when the problem is not the other person but it’s you?

Sometimes, when toxicity is more subtle, like the overbearing negativity of someone who has recently had their dreams crushed or the miserable loner who takes the anger they feel for their ex out on everyone they meet, it’s hard to notice.

Plus, toxicity is contagious, and when you’re infected, you become toxic yourself.

You may have noticed your friends distancing themselves from you recently, maybe one of them has even called you out directly. Maybe you can recall a…

View original post 738 more words

10 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Lose Weight ~

The Purple Almond

As someone who is in the nutrition field as a profession AND trying to desperately lose weight on a personal level, I know just how hard it can be to stay motivated on the journey to health and happiness. I recently took a “vacation”, which also led to a “vacation” from my weight loss regime. I’ll talk more about that in my Fit by 50 journal. Suffice it to say, I’m starting from scratch and looking for motivation, the perfect topic for today’s “Walk to wellness” article.

fit-woman-making-smoothie-thumb source:

I set out to research the topic and found a ton of information. This article from, is perfect, and includes 16 ways to say motivated. I’m going to summarize my 10 favorite ways below. (1)

  1. Have realistic expectations: I’ve had problems with this area before. As tempting as it is to set lofty weight loss goals, with…

View original post 939 more words

Project Smile Revisited

Being Lydia!

It has been a long time since I have written in this series. This is partly, or even mostly, because there wasn’t much to tell.

I disagreed intensely with my wonderful dentist about partial plates vs. full dentures. He wanted the former and I the latter and neither side was giving in. I was so stubborn that I consulted two other dentists (who both said the same thing as mine) and called a denturist who said they would gladly help but I needed to find a dentist to pull the teeth. Plus the cost was way through the roof in comparison to the reconstruction and plates because my plan would cover more that way than for the full plates.

To recap what was going on, I have several teeth missing top and bottom and I had two teeth on the right bottom that were falling apart and needed crowns. This…

View original post 282 more words

Confusing patterns.

Lucky Otters Haven


In the almost year and a half since I’ve been blogging, an interesting picture has emerged. I started to blog after I went no contact with my ex (actually very low contact since we have children) as a way to process having been a victim of narcissistic abuse, first by my family of origin, then by my ex. My focus for the first six months or so was primarily on my abusers, and my rage at narcissists in general. Most of my articles were about narcissists and narcissism, and I read everything I could about it too. I became close with other ACON (adult children of narcissists) bloggers. I wasn’t ready yet to take a good long look at myself and what I could do to help myself, other than staying far away from abusive people. But it was a very good start to a journey that proved to be…

View original post 1,097 more words

#OctPoWriMo 2018 #9

Tessa Can Do It! Positivity is Catching!

by Tessa Smeigh October 2018

cool winds blow

leaves fluttering by

reds, orange

yellow too

sudden whirlwinds passing by

covering up the ground




Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog

View original post

Words of Thanks

Peace from Panic

Years ago I gave my mom a birthday present she’ll never forget. A Gratitude Journal. She  says it’s her favorite gift she’s ever received from me. She was turning 65. I bought a blank book, and numbered the pages 1-65. On each page, I thanked her for ways she’d impacted my life.

At first, I thought, “How am I possibly going to think of that many things?” Once I got started, gratefulness gushed out. I brainstormed, and remembered dozens of times she’d supported, loved, and cared for me.

For instance:

“Thank you for making me go to church when I was little. Faith is now a huge part of my life.”

“Thank you for taking me to the beach every Tuesday in the summer.”

“Thank you for going on walks with me. And when we had nothing to say and I thought it was an awkward silence, you told me…

View original post 225 more words