When she has nothing more to say to her Birth Family….I have failed as an adoptive mom.

Lifting Taboos

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I think there comes a time when we adoptive parents need to try, without telling them we are trying. We need to make an obvious effort without forcing them to know about it. There is a time when we adoptive parents need to be the anonymous donor, supporter, helper WITHOUT their knowledge. 

This weekend was a hard one for our daughter who is almost 14 years old. She has been with us since she was around four but she has a real mom and she has a real family.

She has a family that she is connected to by blood but not connected to in the physical sense. She does not live with them and because she has a romanticized idea of who they are and are becoming, she can’t connect.

I am at fault for this. We adoptive parents are at fault for them not being able to connect.

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Fresh start

Forty Something Life As We Know It

As a Forty Plusser you just know that not everything in life goes according to plan. Yes sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zone. Actually a lot! Sometimes you need to change direction for the sake of you own survival and sanity!!

Okay, I have depression(bipolar). So there are days that I really don’t see any future at all! Like just wanting to quit…  But then again, I have lots of normal days. It is days like these that I totally embrace. Sometimes life can be a real struggle. But the fact that I am a mother and a wife forces me to find a way to “make it work in life”. This is a conscious decision I make on a daily basis, because to be quite honest…the visit to the psychiatrist only helps that much!! I have to find a constant way deep inside my soul…

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Song Lyric Sunday | “Dreamin” by Vanessa Williams

Nesie's Place

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Song Lyric Sunday was created by Helen Vahdati from This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. For complete rules or to join in the fun, click here.

The theme for Song Lyric Sunday this week is “picture/photograph.”

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Took a walk on the wild side of this week’s theme and came up with two great songs…about dreams – pictures in the mind!

1 – Originally performed by the family group, Guinn, Vanessa Williams recorded Dreamin in 1988  and released it as a single from her debut album, The Right Stuff. The single was Williams’ first top 40 and first number-one hit on the Billboard R&B chart, where it stayed at the top of the chart for two weeks. On the Billboard Hot 100 pop chart, “Dreamin'” peaked at number eight.

2 – Posthumously released as the lead single for her fifth studio album of the same…

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Monday Thoughts

Random Writings on the Bathroom Wall

us-vs-them

I’ve had a hard time of late getting all fired up for one political party or the other.  One of the good things about being an independent is I can vote for whomever I think is the best candidate versus voting the party line.  One has to be flexible in Minnesota.  And before anyone asks, “NO” I did not vote for El Presidente nor did I vote for Hillary.  I voted Green Party much to some consternation of some people.  “You wasted your vote!” is what they told me.  I can’t tell you my retort because one never knows if lil’ old blue haired ladies, little kids, priests and nuns are around WP.  Nah, they wouldn’t like the words that I used.  Especially the nuns.

But I am wondering who is going to get my vote this coming mid-term election.  Neither party is inspiring any kind of confidence…

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The Dreaded Decade

WRITE OUTSIDE

 

I remember when the first month had passed. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard your laugh or felt one of your loving hugs in thirty days. Unfathomable. Today marks ten years. The dreaded decade mark I can’t believe is here, a decade since our last mother-daughter moment. It seems impossible that I have moved on without the foundation you created. In the time since you were ripped away, I carved a new foundation and learned new ways to thrive.

The earthquake your death caused forever changed the landscape of my life, but for every beautiful memory and life lesson you gave me, I am surrounded by plants and flowers of every shape and color. You are everywhere. In honor of you, I continue to live. I continue to find new adventures and live in the now. But I will always miss you.

For June 22nd 2018 I am sharing…

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Face It, Without adoption, Wendy’s Wouldn’t Be Here.

Lifting Taboos

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NO! I was literally sucking in the rhetoric that prompted this blog.

NO!

Once again, adoptee’s voices are being crushed left and right. Everywhere I go, I see adoption being thrown in my face, appreciation being required or else, and the “good adoptee” narrative being used against me as if I’m some kind of criminal for being opposed to this narrative.

Are there “positive” adoptions? Yes. I do believe there are. But this in no way means that loss, trauma, and sadness is not involved.

For Dave Thomas, his adoption must have been “amazing”. I mean, he created a family restaurant that is filled with racism, injustice, food that can be dangerous, and inconsistency with its message. I don’t think he intended to do this. However, when money is involved, people do interesting things. Intent vs Impact…right?

But why must he make other adoptees feel like Wendy’s would NOT have…

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A hug for Saraa…

Cyranny's Cove

Dear Lovelies,

Today I break my blogging-pause silence for a good reason. Not a happy one, but something worth a mention…

As you all know, blogging is about sharing thoughts and stories, but it is much more than that. The Bloggosphere is a community, and a place we come to when we need some support.

This morning, terrible news awaited me when I turned on my tablet.

You might already know Saraa, from It’s me Saraa. If not, you should really get to know the bubbly, witty, sweeter than sugar girl! This bright young woman always manages to put a smile on my face, but not today.

To make a long story short, Saraa’s little brother took his life yesterday. Knowing how important family is to her, I can hardly imagine how painful it is to go through life for her at this moment.

So if you have…

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The Fruit of the Spirit – Kindness

veldaville

kindnessOne of the positive aspects of our society is the fact that we witness acts of kindness being demonstrated daily to others. Persons donate money and material things to help victims of tragedies to get back on their feet. They help elderly persons to cross the road safely. Motorists on the main road will allow the other driver coming from a side road to exit. A few days ago, my wife’s money fell from her purse; a gentleman who was passing alerted her to what was happening. These are all acts of kindness that we are familiar with in our society.

King David in 2Samuel 9:1-12 deliberately sought after a descendant of King Saul for the purpose of showing him the kindness of God. Through his servant Ziba, David found out that Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan and grandson of Saul was still alive. Saul had made David’s life miserable…

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The marriage saga- and why this generation is afraid of it.

Long Island Iced Tea

Let me be honest- the idea of marriage petrifies me and as I sit here typing these words out, my folks are probably busy sending my marriage-worthy-profile-photo to someone else, whose son, I believe would also be as jittery of this development as I am. (For those of you who are curious, I am talking about arranged marriages). This is funny given the fact that we, as girls, have been raised since the beginning of our childhood in a very prepare-your-daughter-for-marriage environment. I bet almost all of you ladies would have heard the sentence ”If you do this, who is going to marry you!”. The only difference is these words actually instilled fear in me back then and these same words evoke a response of “so what” now. So how did a child who wanted to grow up and get married ended up repelling the idea of marriage, HOW?

Well…

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