Back to one

OM is getting back to his roots!!

HarsH ReaLiTy

It will just be me for awhile. I won’t have guest bloggers or promote authors this year. I also won’t schedule any posts or respin old ones, so this website may get a bit boring. I also won’t reblog as much this year due to time.

I’m back to realtime blogging, back to the way this blog began. Just with more breaks because I’m old and tired. And grumpy.


-Opinionated Man



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Can I get some peace of mind?

This is Oaktown Vibes!!


The world is full of distractions. Its hard to get a lot done or to even find some peace when your mind is cluttered with all the news of imminent doom or even with your own personal stress and inner conflict. Finding peace is something that many of us never accomplish, because we believe that focusing on the problem, will fix the problem.

Even more valuable than money or finding the perfect lover, is finding peace. When you achieve peace of mind, life becomes more clear and you begin to think with more clarity. The real question is “how do I go about finding this peace…?” There is no one size fits all answer but we can definitely trace it back to the beginning foundation…you.

Nothing in the outside world can hurt you, once you have found peace within. You have to quiet the mind first and then begin to do what I call…

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What got me to where I am today… 3/3

I would like to introduce Cyranny’s Cove!!

Cyranny's cove

As part of my new Let me be your voice chronicles, here is the third and final part of the testimony I recieved from one of you Lovelies…

Here are the first two parts, if you’d like to read them;  Part 1  Part 2

If you too have any untold story you’d like to write about, but are uncomfortable publishing on your own blog, just send it to me through my “Get in touch with Cyranny” page… It  will be a pleasure for me to post it in the Cove anonymously… So you can see the eventual response your story brings from readers…


I thought John really did, want me that is.  He went back to England after his short holiday in SA, sold his house over there, resigned from his job where he wasn’t very happy working, and came back to SA to marry me.  The wedding was just…

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Impact Each Other with Kindness

More great advice from Peace From Panic!

Peace from Panic

The line reached the door. My stomach grumbled as I slowly made my way up to order lunch. I was at one of my favorite fast-casual dining places. Employees in the kitchen were in a frenzy, rushing to grill meat, make guacamole, and chop onions and peppers. The workers moved quickly and systematically, trying their best to get the orders right. I finally reached the front.

“How can I help you?”

“I’ll have a burrito please. Brown rice, black beans, chicken.” I moved down the line, where another worker scooped guacamole, plopped on salsa, and sprinkled on cheese and lettuce. He expertly wrapped the over-stuffed burrito, taking care so it wouldn’t burst open.

The cashier asked if I’d like anything else. “Chips and a drink.” I made some small talk and asked how her day was going.

“Fine, thanks.” She smiled.

I smiled back.

What she said next took me…

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What Space Do You Occupy?

I recently heard someone ask a deep and interesting question: What space do you occupy? There was no explanation to what the question meant or intended; it was simply asked and left to simmer.

Is it a question of proximity?  Or maybe a philosophical musing?  So as I tend to do I sat down quietly and unleashed my Achilles heal: my mind.

What space do I occupy?

In my mind, the question pertains to the concept of what one is accomplishing with one’s life.  As in, what difference are you making in the world?  What is your stamp on life?  It is my belief that each person is a small piece to a universal jigsaw puzzle.  We each must express our uniqueness to the world so that the world is complete. And without each individual expressing their uniqueness, the world is incomplete; much like a puzzle with missing or duplicate pieces.

So I ask you the same question.  What space do you occupy?  What are you doing in this world to make a difference?  What uniqueness are you expressing to help complete humanity?

I believe one person can make a difference.  I recall a quote:

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke

The “evil” referred to my Burke is not necessarily the devil or demons or dastardly deeds. Evil in my understanding takes on a much more universal, human-condition connotation. Evil can be seen as a person never experiencing the joy of fulfillment or the lack of love in one’s life.  Much like darkness is not an actual thing, but a condition in which light is not present.  So in this context the only thing necessary for someone to never experience true fulfillment is for them to do nothing.

What space do you occupy?

Are you hiding your unique talents?  Are you running from a calling?  Do you feel that you are meant for more or meant to do something meaningful?

I love this question so much.  It allows my mind to run rampant with thoughts.  Most of the time I talk these types of things out while I walk the dog.  I enjoy talking out loud to process philosophical thoughts.

Many adults identify themselves with what they do for a living or being a parent or being a socialite.  At speaking events I cannot wait to get through speaking in order to get to the Q&A, so that I can ask questions of those asking questions.  One of my favorite questions to ask is, “Who are you?”  Those with kids usually begin their answer with “I am the mother/father of 2 beautiful boys.”  And the rest of the answers vary greatly.  But each time I ask this question the person pauses for a considerable amount of time.  Much the same way a kid will stop and process math in their head.  You can see the person thinking.  I like to ask this question because the first thing out of their mouths reveals what that person considers the most important thing in their life.

What space do you occupy?

If humanity is like a giant jigsaw puzzle and each of us displaying our unique talents and characteristics are the pieces,  then what uniqueness are you expressing?   I have talked in the past about conformity and how it is necessary in human development, but that we take it too far sometimes and dull down individuals. I am not sure why we make fun of those that are different.  And I have no clue why humans desire to make everyone the same.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

But, I do know that it is important for each of us to take time and contemplate our lives.  I believe we must figure out what is it that we are here to accomplish.  What is your piece to the jigsaw puzzle?  Should you be expressing yourself through your art or maybe writing? Maybe your gift is poetry?  You might not know yet and that is okay.  The important thing is to always be seeking, learning, experiencing and expressing yourself.

What space do you occupy?  What are you doing to complete the picture of humanity? What difference are you making?  What will be your legacy?

Something to think about on a beautiful Friday morning!  I hope everyone has a safe and joy-filled weekend!



Fearful of freedom

Meet A Blog a Day Keeps the Sadness Away!!

A Blog a Day Keeps the Sadness Away

This might sound absolutely absurd to most people.. but I am terrified of freedom.  The freedom to choose my fate, my career, my friends, my boyfriend, my car, my breakfast, my outfit.. my life.  That’s a lot of pressure because what if I screw up?  What if I make a horribly bad decision?  There are no take-backs in life.  My ENTIRE life I have been doing what I either was told to do or what I thought I was supposed to do.  I played sports because my dad played sports and that’s what he would have wanted, right?  I played the flute because my mom played the flute and that’s what she would have wanted, right?  I got good grades and joined lots of clubs to make my parents proud and to get into a good college because that’s what they wanted, right?  I went to college because that was…

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When the Gentle Whispers & Loving Hugs of a Stranger Meant so Much

The Kindness Blog was my first follow 10 months ago. It is still one of my favorites!!

Kindness Blog

Eleven years ago, when I was a freshman in college, my boyfriend at the time fainted and busted his head pretty bad on the concrete outside of the cafeteria.

I have panic disorder, and at the time I was untreated, so this sent me into high anxiety while waiting in the ER waiting room.

I was crying hysterically and in the middle of a full-blown panic attack when this incredibly old woman walked across the waiting room and held me.

She kept whispering in my ear that everything would be OK and hugged me for a while until my sobbing calmed down.

She helped me through that panic attack and then just went and sat back near her family.

I thanked her, and I will never forget her kindness.

by ~ HoopyFrood

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