AFTER A WHILE

cabbagesandkings524

I find things in my archives, some of forgotten provenance, such as this poem from long ago. I don’t recall now when I either wrote it or found it. If I did find it, I apologize to the author for having lost the reference, and ask that if anybody recognizes it tha they tell me so I can give credit where it is due. It is about partings, the subject of so many songs and poems. It is about those times when the ship has sailed or the train has left the station, and how little it matters whether one is on the ship or the shore, the train or the platform. In song, the play list is too long to put here, and besides, every one has their own. Which parting brought this into my journals, I don’t know. Perhaps it was that girl from the North Country, perhaps…

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Just six months

I Am My Own Island

I think i’m in a much better headspace then six months ago but I have a low stress job. I do wonder if I can keep this self love train going. It seems I’ve been pretty stable since the new year and I like it. No it’s not been perfect but tolerable. I feel different… more content. I’m anxious about this next week. I don’t have enough work to see me through so i’m afraid it’ll be a long week. I’m just babbling I think at this point but it’s what’s on my mind. Thanks for listening.

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Let It Be 2-7-19

fiercefabulousfunny

I’ve always loved this song. Even when I was a young girl this song would hold a special meaning. It never failed, it came on in the Knick of time to offer me the comfort I needed at that time. It reminded me then and still reminds me today to….Let It Be. I’m posting in the hopes that if anyone is struggling that this song will come as a reminder that whatever you’re going through….Let It Be. Everything is going to be ok. Many if you may not know the true meaning of this song, but here it is.

Paul McCartney wrote this song. It was inspired by his mother, Mary, who died when he was 14. Many people thought “Mother Mary” was a biblical reference when they heard it.

According to McCartney, this is a very positive song, owing to its inspiration. One night when he was paranoid and…

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Pretty Hearts, Parents and Husbands

Tea and Tales

As we have been busy making heart garlands and pouring glitter over styrofoam hearts and other crafty things someone let winter in again! I’m not going to say anything about who that may be but someone did say they were sending me some snow!

I personally did not know about this development until 3 a.m. when I received a text saying there would be no school today. Or Library due to weather conditions. I looked out the window and didn’t see anything but apparently it rained last night and the temperature dropped to single digits and the roads were solid sheets of ice. On I-40 there were at least 40 semi trucks lined up on the shoulder of the highway. The sun is acting like it has no idea what is happening, just shining bright as ever but it’s 20 before the wind chill and the wind is vicious.

No…

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Giving myself a try

Return of Conflict Girl

I’ve heard people say before that when you get really sick of the status quo, that’s when you’ll truly make significant changes.

All along, I thought that I didn’t really have that much power over what happened to me. Especially once I got that multiple sclerosis diagnosis: a lot of people started to see me as horrifically sick. Not just a little challenged, but doomed. Incapable of anything ever again. I was strongly advised to just go on disability because, you know, I was so sick.

All of a sudden, though, once I sought help from an attorney, I started becoming even more certain that I really didn’t want disability.

From there, I paid for the grueling 8-hour exam by a neuropsychologist of my functioning and an MRI of my brain. The original intent of those was to prove how much I was trying to get disability.

Similarly, since my…

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February 7: Flash Fiction Challenge – Signs

But I Smile Anyway...

It’s time to get back into Charli’s 99-word flash fiction challenge!

February 7, 2019, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes a sign. It can be a posted sign, a universal sign, a wonder. Go where the prompt leads.

Here goes.

Why Did I Get Up?

Why Did I Get Up?
Nina dragged herself to sitting position. Why did the alarm have to go off?
She swung her feet out of bed and one landed on a squidgy mess.
Great.
The cat had been eating silly things, and deposited his sick at her bedside.
The shower was no better. Her flatmate had used up all the hot water.
Even her morning coffee was blighted with the fact there was no milk left.
After three hours of sitting on a bus, trying to reach her workplace, Nina gave up.
All signs that she should…

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Come on down this is your time #67

Its good to be crazy Sometimes

Have you heard of this great party that happens every weekend on my blog? Its the share weekend, if you want to get to know more, then click here and join in, you can post or just read some of the great blogs and posts that are being shared

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Diary of an Author With Multiple Sclerosis – Feb 19

Author Steve Boseley - Half a Loaf of Fiction

Author with Multiple SclerosisIt’s been just over a month since my last update, but I’m trying really hard to keep updating as regularly as possible. Once a month seems about right for this series. So what’s been happening since last time (writing first)? Writing problems and solutions!

Writing

I’ve been writing reasonably seriously for about four or five years now, mostly short stories, with a couple of novellas. I want to get a novel written. Something longer. Do I have it in me? I hope I do, but I don’t just want to write 70K words and call it a novel. I want to write 70K words that make sense, that go together in a way that makes an actual story. I don’t need it to be an instant best seller, I just want it to be complete. I’ve been doing a lot of my growing here on the internet and have…

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Where Do You Get Your Oxygen From?

Untangled

She is the embodiment
of the questions we pondered
on a sunny afternoon.

Knowing the hype of the
newest workshop and buzzwords
would all have their moment in time
we asked each other, What Comes Next?

What is…
The driver of contentment?
The reason to try one more day?
The song we sing to our inner-self?

With quiet wisdom, and wonderous curiosity
she asked, “Where Do We Get Our Oxygen From?”

Today I danced as if it was warm and sunny outside
As if the world can someday be just, fair and peaceful for All
Believing that alone and collectively we make a difference
to ourselves, our neighbors, and our world.

Smiling huge and with a nod to the snowbirds
soaring above me on this winter’s day
my thoughts went to my teacher, my friend
I thought back to that moment when she asked
“Where do we get our Oxygen…

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Dissociative Identify Disorder: A Sliver of Grief

Art by Rob Goldstein

It was easy to get lost in a virtual reality; I’ve always lived in one

My experience of dissociative identity disorder is unique yet part of
a pattern of signs and symptoms expressed by different people in
similar ways.

Each person is unique but our bodies are variations on a theme
shared by all animals.

I like to give a clinical context to my discussions of life with DID.

People with DID are not crazy, I use reason to cope with a chaotic
inner world.

I’ve addressed the experience of psychological regression in earlier posts.

Digital painting of a child weeping in a pool of blood

Regression: n. a return to a prior, lower state of cognitive, emotional, or behavioral functioning. This term is associated particularly with psychoanalytic theory, denoting a situation in which the individual reverts to immature behavior or to an earlier stage of psychosexual development when threatened with overwhelming external problems or internal conflicts. —regress vb. —regressive adj.>>>>

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