Today’s Featured Blog…Saying What Goes Unsaid!

Saying what goes unsaid

Chris Cornell’s death hit many of us quite hard, and one of the things I keep hearing is that it was especially hard because he was someone who had beaten his demons. I saw very similar comments when the toxicology report recently came out about Carrie Fisher’s death.

There is no denying that it is hard. Mental illness is really hard. But that so many people consider relapses and suicide risk shockingly unexpected outcomes of mental illness suggests a profound misunderstanding of what it means to battle it.

Despite what movies might have led you to believe, mental illnesses like depression and substance use disorders don’t have a single cause — and treatment rarely is a matter of exorcising particular demons (or memories). Even psychologists who believe that there is something to be gained from reaching into and airing out a traumatic past believe that this process requires repeated…

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I HATE YOU, DONT LEAVE ME?

Therapy Bits

THERAPY TODAY WAS A DISASTER WE TALKED ABOUT THE UPCOMING BREAK AND I GOT SO ANGRY WITH EILEEN BECAUSE I DONT WANT HER TO GO ON HOLIDAY NEXT WEEK I FEEL LIKE WE HAVENT REALLY PREPARED FOR IT I TOLD HER I THOUGHT IT WASNT FAIR THAT SHE’D ONLY HAD A WEEK AT EASTER SO WHY DID SHE NEED ANOTHER SO SOON? SHE KEPT SAYING IT WAS OK FOR ME TO BE ANGRY AT HER THAT SHE WOULD WALK THIS JOURNEY WITH ME, THAT ONLY MADE ME MADDER. I TOLD HER HOW MUCH THE KIDS ARE STRUGGLING, SHE ONLY SAID ME AND CAROL ANNE AND THE OLDER INSIDERS WOULD WE TRY TO SUPPORT THEM WHILE SHE WAS AWAY SO THEY WOULD NOT BE ON THEIR OWN? OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT US? WE’RE FEELING LIKE WE’RE ON OUR OWN TOO? SHE KEPT TRYING TO GET ME TO TALK ABOUT MY UNDERLYING…

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New diabetes pen has sugars all over…

Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

It is called Tanzeum. I was wrong with the name the other day. They decreased my oral meds and said it will take a couple of weeks to settle down. I was only 74 the other day than today it was 159. Crazy.

Got my new diabetic shoes. Took forever. The smallest pair is too big for my feet. She had to rig them to fit.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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Life update

Therapy Bits

I’m having a pretty good afternoon. I’m relaxed and in a good mood.
Its nice to feel calm. It feels good.
Strange, but good. I’m so used to feeling on edge, stressed out etc that I dont know how it feels to just sit and be.
I like this feeling.
My dads getting sick. He has something going on with his chest. He is coughing a lot and he also has stomach issues going on. we are trying to get him to see a doctor but he keeps refusing. i told him he isnt going to get better by doing nothing.
Nitro is doing good. He’s happy. He’s such a cuddle bug. Always looking for pats. He has taken to licking my toes lately to show his affection for me. its pretty cute.
overall life is good this afternoon. I hope your all having a good saturday.

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Stomp Out Stigma

Peace from Panic

blog

This past Saturday, I woke up to a cold and rainy morning. My bed was warm and it sounded great to stay home and curl up on the couch with a book and a cup of coffee.

But I had to get moving. This was the day of the NAMI Walk, rain or shine. I’d heard about this fundraiser since I started volunteering almost a year ago, and was excited to finally participate. What a perfect time, since this is Mental Health Awareness Month.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is the largest grassroots mental health organization in the country. There are hundreds of NAMI chapters throughout the United States. The 5K walks are the largest fundraisers of the year.

NAMI uses the money to offer free classes and programs to those affected by mental illness, and also to their families. I’ve seen the benefits of their resources firsthand. I…

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Mania: The Blinding Light on Top of the World

The Bipolar Storyteller

“The blinding light? Wait a minute, I thought that spending life on top of the world was a good thing!” I’m sure that’s a thought that went through some of your minds when you saw the title (If it’s not, we’re just gonna pretend it was, mkay?) I guess in a sense, being on top of the world is a good thing; however, there comes a point when the pedestal you sit upon becomes so tall, the awesome might and power of the light ends up turning you into the demon deep within yourself. The truth is, my manic episodes have caused more pain to myself and those that I love than any depressive episode I’ve ever had. Which is unfortunate, because I’ve spent most of my life sitting high above the world on my manic throne.

For those of you that aren’t quite sure what I’m talking about, let…

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month – Mental Health Post for May 2nd

My Loud Bipolar Whispers

Prevalence of Mental Illness:

  • 1.1% of adults in the U.S. live with schizophrenia.
  • 2.6% of adults in the U.S. live with bipolar disorder.
  • 6.9% of adults in the U.S.—16 million—had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.
  • 18.1% of adults in the U.S. experienced an anxiety disorder such as post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and specific phobias.
  • Among the 20.2 million adults in the U.S. who experienced a substance abuse disorder, 50.5%—10.2 million adults—had a co-occurring mental illness.

(~ Information from NAMI – National Alliance of Mental Illness)

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Moving Forward: Letting Go of the Past

The Bipolar Storyteller

Look, I’ll be straight with y’all.  I’m As I continue to move forward in life and learn to cope with my illness, there is one thing I find holding me back:  Who I used to be.not proud of the guy I was in high school.  I spent so long hiding behind a mask of confidence and a wall of bravado, I honestly couldn’t tell you who I really was back then.  I was so worried about letting people see that I was just a normal human being – that I wasn’t some indestructible superhero – that it turned me into a monster.  I spent so long hiding me feelings, that I just stopped caring about others. I was mean; if I didn’t think you were worth my time, I just didn’t give you it.  I was heartless; I just simply didn’t care about how my actions affected other people.  If I…

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Sugar level was 114…FitBit

Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

Have to recheck it in a bit since I ate more carbs than usual and need to see what it did to my sugar levels.

I  just checked it at the 2 hour mark and it was 271. Way too high!

My numbers come down slowly. They should come down faster. At least they are still coming down.

I wear a fitbit now and keep track of my steps. I made a goal of 1000 and my son changed it to 1500. Still fighting to meet the 2nd goal.

My pain level isn’t that bad today, but I do have the external yeast infection again and that is sore. Have cream to put on it.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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Bipolar Disorder is Either Black or White (Daily Word Prompt is Gray)

My Loud Bipolar Whispers!

My Loud Bipolar Whispers

There are no gray areas.

It is either black or white.

You are either right or wrong.

You are either dead or alive.

With my bipolar disorder I have felt dead many times, but I have never been dead. I was alive, but felt like I had no emotions causing me to feel like I was dead and I wanted to be dead. I may have been one step away from being dead many times as severe deep dark dangerous thoughts of suicide overcame my mind. I was only one step away from swallowing a large handful of medications many times that would have caused a life ending overdose. Then I would have been dead.

However, I survived my many strong desires, suicidal ideations and numerous suicidal attempts throughout my many years of battling and living with bipolar disorder, PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. I am happy to be alive.

There are no gray areas in living.

It is either…

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