I Have Become Too Judgmental and Negative

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People Will Try To Crap On Your Dreams; Don’t Let Them

When I first started blogging I had no clue what I was doing or what blogging was all about.  What I did know was that I wanted to make a difference.   I wanted to spread my net far and wide and have thousands of people read my page.   I set my goals based on follower numbers, primarily setting my aim on the types of numbers that a few other big blogs had-Harsh Reality, Don Charisma and The Public Blogger.

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These blogs had tens of thousands of followers and I wanted to be in their league.  I remember telling a few guys I know about my vision and they said I shouldn’t expect much because most blogs fail and very few ever get more than a few hundred followers. I actually had other bloggers tell me the same thing.  They never said I was crazy to think big, but I could tell from their tone that they thought I was a newbie speaking like a newbie.  Basically they were saying, “Good luck, but it’s probably not going to happen.”

What’s my point?  I am exactly where I had hoped I would be at this point.  Don’t allow what others say to deter you from your vision.  Don’t let other people’s negativity  limit you. Don’t allow yourself to live in the box others build for you.

Visionaries are deemed to be crazy by “normal” people.  Don’t settle.

Is It Time You Challenged Your Beliefs?

I think a lot.

One of the things I like most about the marketing industry is I am able to speak to and watch businesses thrive or die.  This is important for my job because it allows me to watch the actions of business owners which brings about the death of that business, which I can then take and use to help my current clients.  If I can help them avoid the pitfalls I witness in others then I have done my job.

 

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And then of course I am able to look at the parallels of business owners and life in general. One of the mentalities I have observed that almost all of my thriving business owners possess is the willingness to challenge their own beliefs.  They are quick to recognize that they do not know everything and are slow to make assumptions.  They are willing to consider the possibility that they could be wrong or their thinking could be flawed.  And because of this mentality they are able to make decisions which take into consideration many angles and many perspectives.  To assume you know is death.   I was once told by a successful Charlotte business man that the most important question I could ever constantly ask myself is “Could I be wrong?”

I get a lot of comments each week and I get even more emails about posts I create; especially those relating to positive thinking.  I find it ironic that those who express opinions contrary to mine on being more positive are themselves somewhat negative people; and I know this because they tell me they are.  I also know this because positive people generally agree with my view, therefore it is a safe assumption that someone arguing against one of my posts is by default more inclined to negativity or less likely to be a positive thinker.

So I want to lay down a challenge for my readers.

My thinking goes this route: if you are opposed to more positive inclinations (meaning you are reading this and already beginning to construct your anti-comment), is it possible that your reluctance to begin developing a more positive attitude is contributing negatively to your life?  Are you willing to challenge your own beliefs?  Are you willing to consider that you could be wrong?  Are you willing to consider for a moment that your mental inclination does in fact have a profound impact on your life?

For those of you who do not believe in the power and benefits of a positive outlook I am here to inform you there is hope.  I was once just like you.  I was once an incredibly negative person and still battle complaining, getting pissed off at the simplest of things and seeing life through a negative lens.  I was the realist.  I was the naysayer.  I did not believe.  I was a procrastinator.  And I definitely did not buy the belief that I could change my life by simply seeing the world through rose-colored glasses…and I was wrong.

One day about three years ago it dawned on me that I had to make a change.  I looked at my life and what I had achieved and realized if I wanted more, then I had to figure out what was going wrong.  I wasn’t happy in my profession.  I felt like an underachiever compared to my own expectations.  And my research on habits led me to realize that I had created the box in which I felt trapped.  I had created my own mental cage.

The only way I could escape this cage was to go through a revolution of the mind; a coup d’etat if you will.  It was at this time that I began researching the habits of successful people and began to insert these habits into my life.  I began to take better care of my body.  I began to read more history.  I stopped watching television.  I started learning how to become a better listener.  I stopped eating too much junk food.  I started something new and exciting (this blog!!).  In short, I completely revamped my existence and in turn I completely reshaped my view of the world.

Image result for thumb hit with hammerNone of this would have been possible if I had allowed myself to assume I had it all figured out; if I allowed myself to remain in that same old broken mindset.  I can tell from the comments I get that many of you are in the same boat I was in 3 years ago.  I hope some of you take a long hard look at yourself and challenge your thinking.  I mean take a long hard look at yourself, your thinking, and then ask yourself what has your mentality produced in your life.  If the answer is disappointment, failed relationships, hardship, unhappiness, loneliness, financial hardship, etc. then isn’t it about time you challenge your current belief system and adopt one that begins to produce better results?  If you continue to hit your thumb with a hammer and it hurts and bleeds, why would you continue to hit your thumb over and over and over and over?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to stop hitting your thumb?

Challenge your thinking.  Weigh the results you’ve gotten thus far compared to your mindset.  If you like the results then keep on keeping on.  If you don’t, then maybe it is time for your own mental revolution.  Remember this, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten.  If you want something different, then you will have to do something different.

Just something to think about on a Friday morning.

How to Develop a Positive Mindset and Change Your Life Forever

About 2 years ago I realized the toll that working retail was taking on my attitude.  Without noticing I had become much more bitter, suspicious, negative, negative and negative.  Oh, did I mention negative? I didn’t like going anywhere except home after work and made it my mission to avoid other retail stores at all costs.  If you have worked retail you understand me, if not, go to Amazon and buy “Retail Hell” by Freeman Hall and it will provide perspective.

shanaslifeguide.com

shanaslifeguide.com

Working retail can be a challenging situation especially if you work in a store that is located in a more affluent area.  My experience was that customers treated you like a second class citizen, that is if they noticed you at all.  The grind of being on my feet for 40 hours per week was brutal and when combined with corporate performance pressure and demanding customers…well, you get the picture.  Then under girding all of those issues were the difficulties of living with MS.

Negative self-talk and negative talk in general will simply perpetuate a negative attitude and I had one sour view of life.  I knew I had to change.

Do you have a negative attitude or tendencies?  Here are a few characteristics I noticed in myself:

-often complaining
-tendency to see the downside in things
-have a negative effect on others/you’re a drag
-tendency to belittle others
-speak negative
-negative internal self-talk
-frequent use of sarcasm
-rude to others
-quarrelsome
-unfriendly
-judgmental

I am sure there are others, but these are a few that I recognized in myself after I started making an attitude change.  Looking at the list still makes me a little embarrassed, but I own the way I acted then and thank my past self now for making changes!

Needless to say my attitude was poor and I had to change.  I did not like the person that I had become and the thought crossed my mind that if I realized my attitude was bad, then how bad was it in actuality?  Similar to when the drunk realizes he’s drunk, that means he’s super drunk!!  The question was how to change?  How would I change my mindset to be more positive?

In order to change any habit you must change either the motivation behind the habit or the routine that supports it. Insert definition of insanity here!  If you continue the same action expecting a different result…

You must change your actions in order to get different results!

First, I left my job in retail!  Then, over time I implemented brand new actions and thoughts in my life.  Second, I had to start thinking before I opened my mouth, then fill my mouth with more positive speech.  Third, I began exercising and eating healthier and lost some weight.  Lastly, I got back to playing a little golf to relieve stress and increase the joy in my life.

lifehacker.org

lifehacker.org

I will say the thing I enjoy the most about working to be a more positive person is noticing the good in the world  I know it is not realistic to think life is always going to be rainbows, chocolate chip cookies and puppy kisses.  But it is also not realistic to think it’s always going to be cloudy with a good chance of rain and a high probability of ultimate devastation!!

Always know this: you control and create every aspect of your life. The more positive your attitude the more opportunities you will see in life.  My new attitude has allowed me to begin things I never thought were possible; like the Dream Big community!

When you see the positive, you see the opportunities.  When you are negative, you see the difficulties.  Which do you want for yourself?

How to deal with negative people

Not to turn Dream Big into a positivity blog, but we have talked about being careful about your friend group. Negative begets negative, positive begets positive. Check out SpeakzEasy:

SPEAKZEASY

There are friends, colleagues and well-wishers who always desire the best for you.  But there are a few others, who would seize upon an opportunity to put you down, no matter what.  Be it their negative talks about their lives or generally their pessimistic outlook, whining endlessly, feeling insecure, or always giving negative feedback about your achievement / dreams —————- being around negative people certainly isn’t the best feeling.  This might influence you and probably affect your personal life as well.  Here’s how you should deal with them :
(1) KEEP THEM INVISIBLE —- People with negative energy can be your colleague or even your friend.  So, it might be impossible to avoid them completely.  During these times, “picture them as invisible”.  If you have people at work who bog you down with negative talks, try to keep the conversation short.  You can even put your earphones on and avoid…

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