Here Are 10 Rock-Solid Life Tips

Danny

I love lists.  I also love striving to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday.  For that reason I’ve written 10 Rock-Solid Life Tips I try to live by:

  1.  Be careful not to burn bridges as you never know with whom you might interview one day.
  2. No one can make you want to be great.
  3. Try not to have someone else’s name in your mouth when they aren’t around.
  4. There is never a wrong time to do the right thing.  Conversely, it is never the right time to do the wrong thing.
  5. If you could develop one skill, develop the skill of self-awareness.
  6. The world will take from you as much as you are willing to give it so be careful how & where you invest your efforts.
  7. Be slow to speak, but quick to listen.  You’ll learn more.
  8. In all things seek to add value to the world around you.
  9. There are “reasons” and “excuses” so be certain to understand when each is in play.
  10. There’s a difference between knowledge and wisdom.  Develop wisdom.

Energy Vampires Are Lurking

Danny

Energy vampires are lurking…

One of the most difficult things to do is to cut bait from people who use up our energy in a negative way.  I judge the people I allow in my inner-circle on whether they fill my energy tank or drain my energy tank.  If I find a person to be more draining, then I distance myself from that person.  I am incredibly guarded in that way and I am like that for a specific purpose…I simply don’t have the patience to deal with people who are energy vampires.

If you have followed my page for any time you may know that I am particular about the people I allow to hang around me.  I want positive, goal-oriented and intelligent people in my corner.  I don’t want lazy, junk food eating, uninspired and negative people in my life.  Maybe I have gotten to the age that I realize time is important and I am no longer willing to allow for too much drama.  And when I take a deeper dive into the makeup of the energy vampire they are usually self-absorbed and negative; two characteristics I will not allow to have a place in my life.

Energy vampires are easy to spot.  They might exhibit any of the following characteristics: stubborn, opinionated, high sense of self, controlling, negative, demeaning, angry and/or pity themselves.

When I see any of these character traits I watch closely to see what is going on behind the scenes.  If I then discern the person is legit, I allow them a little closer.  But they are going to have a lot of work to do to prove to me they are worth any effort on my part.

I guard my inner-circle closely because it is crucial to my success to have positive people around me, not naysayers and Debbie Downers.  And at this point in my life I simply don’t have the time nor the patience for dragging anchors.

Danny

Developing The Skill of Patience

DannyDeveloping the skill of patience…

Now, now, now, now, now!!  My mind screams at me sometimes which reminds me of how far I have come, but also is a process check on how far I have to go.  I am not always the most patient person, especially as it relates to me getting ahead.  When I set a goal I want to reach said goal as quickly as possible.

And as much as I work on being patient there are those moments when I get frustrated because things are not moving at the pace that suits me.  Then I try to curtail these thoughts of frustration with “everything happens for a reason and in the right time and in the right order.”  I have to remind myself of this mantra often.

In the world we live I can have virtually anything I want when I want it, how I want it and where I want it.  I click a button and 30 minutes later food from any restaurant I choose can be on my doorstep.  But as convenient as life has become in the civilized world there are still inescapable facts and one of those facts is that sometimes we have to wait.  Honestly, it pains me to even type that last sentence.

Waiting is tough.  Waiting means certain parts are out of our control.  Waiting means you might not be ready.  Waiting means the timing might not be right.  Waiting means discipline.

Here’s the thing: patience is a skill that can be developed.

For some patience comes more easily than for others, but patience can be honed and crafted into a weapon.  And I believe patience might be one of the most under-appreciated weapons in an achievers arsenal.

Danny

 

Hazards of Instant Gratification

I came across this post on instant gratification on Insane Roots and thought everyone would appreciate. Enjoy!

Insane Roots

In today’s society the concept of instant gratification is running rampant!

I think we may have forgotten the true meaning of important. People are so wrapped up in themselves that perhaps they forget to take the time and effort of others in to consideration?

I get emails daily flagged as important and they are almost always not in regards to any matter of life and death. So in essence that exclamation point added to the email tells me that you feel your time is more important than mine or that of others. Demanding something be done immediately that in all reality doesn’t need to be or can not be done immediately really grinds my gears.

There are people starving, battling cancer or any other number of life threatening circumstances. In my opinion, that is what is truly important, not sending you information you should already have if you used…

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The Traits That Make Up the Real Vitruvian Man

If I am continually working hard to improve myself, then what type of person am I striving to become?

Personal development should be a positive process, not a “fixing what’s broken” process.  That is just my opinion, but I find making changes in life happen easier for me when I approach them from a “I want to start doing this or that” versus “I need to stop doing this or that.”  Does that make any sense?

At any rate, here is a list of the traits I believe make the real “Vitruvian” man or woman.   In no particular order:

Kind

Patient

Wise

Slow to speak

Humble

Self-aware

Compassionate

Loving

leonardoEducated

Discriminating

Adaptable

Focused

Committed

Persevering

Good Listener

Slow to anger

Physically fit

Healthy eater

This is basically a free-association list.  What traits would you add to the list?

Being childlike without being childish

Possibly one of my favorite attributes of children is how quickly they forgive and move on with life. Also, they make friends easily.

Flatlander Faith

“When I became a man I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

That would be things like:

-wanting to be the centre of attention
-wanting to be entertained
-wanting what somebody else has
-wanting other people to do what I want
-feeling sorry for myself when things don’t go the way I want
-trying to get even
-boasting
-whining
-not admitting when I have done something wrong
-blaming somebody else

“And a little child shall lead them” (Isaiah 11:6)

” Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3-4).

Childlike qualities:

-willing to trust
-taking delight in unexpected beauty
-feeling happy because others are happy
-feeling sad when others are hurt
-giving without counting the cost
-forgiving
-eager to learn

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Setting the tone

I was once told “you cannot control what others say or do, but you are in full control of how you respond to what others say and do.”

HumaAq

It takes a whole lot of effort to set the right tone around the house. In between all the chaos kids make, one cries another definitely screams, the patience and being polite becomes a challenge. Annoyed just as much as you are, you ave to keep it calm.

It’s just as similar when we leave the house and go outside. There is a chaos, there is irrationality and negativity around. What’s the best attitude you bring is all what counts. Because in the end it’s you who get effected. So will you be patient and still be polite? Why would you want to be polite, for children you bear a lot but for others? But why not? Set the tone right. Maybe, you’re the change its needed.
Rushing thoughts while watching movie Whiplash

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Waiting is not my strong suit!

I want to introduce you all to The Thoughts and Life of Me!

What I saw when stopping to stretch my back when I was out picking blueberries.

The thoughts and life of me

What I saw when stopping to stretch my back when I was out picking blueberries. What I saw when stopping to stretch my back when I was out picking blueberries.

As I mentioned a little over a week ago I had two job interviews last week. I was quite neutral after both interviews. Left with a feeling that it could go either way. But it is really after you come out the real challenge begins. You have currently done all you can and all you can do now is to wait.

Waiting is not something I’m not very good at. I probably should be by now as I have an extreme aversion against being late for anything and always turn up early. Having a lot of friends that is chronically late I have waited a lot in my life. I still haven’t gotten very good at it. At all. In any way. But sometimes it’s all you can do. And so you just have to…

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Tips To Replace A Bad Habit

How many times have we realized we need to make a change, but just don’t seem to be able to beat that bad habit?  Smoking, drinking, overeating,  biting finger nails, shopping, etc.  Often times we realize some of our bad habits are seriously detrimental to our health and/or family’s health, but changing one’s behavior can be extremely difficult.  The good news is that you can find success in changing undesired habits and I am going to help you!  So relax, read and begin to believe in yourself!

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1. My first step in changing a bad habit is to identify the habit.  I advise that you start with one habit you need to change versus multiple changes at one time.  I use the term “Build Positive, Forward Momentum.”  I use this term to encourage people to reach success via a series of small successes, much like winning a war through small battle victories or a snowball rolling downhill. So only commit yourself to one habit change at a time and build some momentum.

2. Once you determine the habit to be changed, you must develop a plan.  I am going to use smoking as an example.  Once you determine you want to quit smoking you must develop a plan to help you succeed.  Understanding triggers will be a huge part of developing the plan.  Buying an assisting device such as a nicotine patch might be a good step or maybe visiting your doctor.Whatever your plan it needs to be specific to you.  Maybe your trigger is boredom at work, maybe drinking alcohol, maybe friends trigger your smoking habit.   During this step I try to analyze every aspect of the habit: possible triggers, benefits, why I enjoy or hate, past attempts to change, etc.  This analysis helps me when I begin to develop my plan and it allows me to decide in my mind that I must make a change and understand why it is important for me to change.   Be sure to provide yourself a counterpoint to your trigger!  “I smoke when I hang out in bars and drink.  Therefore, for the next 30 days I will avoid alcohol and bars to reduce the stress of quitting cigarettes and give myself a better chance of succeeding.”  Or “I smoke when I get bored at work, therefore I will be aware of my boredom and go for a short walk instead.”   After analyzing your habit write down your plan and commit it to memory!

3. Be aware that one key to changing unwanted habits is to replace the unwanted action with a more desirable action.  I have known folk that quit smoking cold turkey and used shear will power to do so and it is impressive to observe.  And their success revolved around immediately committing themselves to any other action when hit with a craving.  Going and working on the car, chopping wood, going for a walk, washing the car, organizing and cleaning the house, chewing a stick of gum, etc.  You will fail if you try to eliminate an undesired action by simply stopping the action.  You must replace the undesirable with something more desirable and distracting.

4.  Be patient!  Rome was not built in a day and habits do not change overnight.   When you stumble, dust yourself right off and get back to your plan.  You might experience lots of small defeats, but if you stick with it for the long haul you will overcome.  It is very important to cut yourself some slack by remembering change is a marathon not a sprint. Learn from the mistake, but do not continue to beat yourself over and over!

5.  Set your goal at 30 days.  Your mindset should be “I am going to focus on changing for 30 days.  Failures will be a part of this process and I accept that fact, but I will not let them stop me.” 

6. Don’t go it alone! Find yourself a buddy to hold you accountable and to lean on in tough times. Life in general is better with a friend and is crucial to helping you find success in changing bad habits.

7.  Keep yourself motivated.  The best motivation can be education so read, read, read!  Find success stories related to your habit change.  Read books about improving yourself, habit changing, benefits of changing your particular bad habit.  All of these things will keep you constantly focused and motivated.

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These are tips that I have used in the past and that I use still today.  Remember, changing habits is not easy and failures will occur.  But if you are determined in your mind and are resolute in your decision, then you can change your behavior.  Be patient, don’t be hard on yourself and expect success.  Also, be sure to share this with your friends to help spread the word! 

Be sure to LIKE my Facebook page, Dream Big, Dream Often and FOLLOW me on Twitter, @BigDreamer0323!

Always striving to improve,

Big Dreamer