The Truth Is I Haven’t Always Been So Positive

DannyAbout once per week I’ll get an email asking me how I maintain such a positive attitude. And I get enough of these emails to make me believe people view me as being a positive person, although, I don’t view myself as a positive person.  The truth is I haven’t always been so positive.

In 2007 I began working for Dick’s Sporting Goods as a PGA Professional.  My job was to manage the golf shop staff, keep the shop stocked with the appropriate types of merchandise, inventory and maintain customer service levels.  For anyone who has worked retail, this short story should register with you.

I worked that job and dealt with customers throughout the store; there were good days and there were really bad days.  And as the years moved forward the really bad days began to outnumber the good days 10 to 1.  Customers in retail are vicious.  They complain constantly.  They drop trash on the floors.  They spill things and use merchandise to cover up the spill.  They leave used condoms in the fitting rooms.  They make messes in the bathrooms that you could never imagine (especially the women’s room!).  They scream, yell and blame the staff for ruining their child’s Christmas.

The list goes on and on.

Dealing with the public turned me into a person who didn’t want to be around people outside of work.  So I began to resent other humans.  I began to hate being around other people.  I saw the worst in humanity and expected people to be awful.  I became a negative person.

Then came 2013 and my retail career ended.  Unfortunately, my negative attitude did not.  It would take me another year or more to eventually purge myself of those negative tendencies and find “Danny’ again.  It was such hard work.  Every day I had to focus on finding the good in people and expecting good things to happen.  I had to go through a complete revolution of my mind to exorcise the negative demons.

It was a long fight, but it was worth it.  I no longer maintain that nasty, negative attitude and I am happy now that people email me asking how I stay so positive.  It’s a great reminder to me that people can change if they want to change.

Positive Quote 09.06

Blog of a Mad Black Woman

There’s still time to change the road you’re on. Choose to see the light, choose to be happy. Move forward with Love in your heart and determination of the mind.

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Have a blessed day all. ❤

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Turning Negatives Into a Garden 2

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This gallery contains 16 photos.

Originally posted on MSnubutterflies:
It’s been a few weeks since the first post about turning some of the negatives I have been dealing with into something positive. I am still struggling physically and with speech or finding words. It has…

Today’s Featured Blog is…Scribbles By Shiv!!

Scribbles By Shiv!

Scribbles by Shiv

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Starting something a new strikes fear into most people, myself included. It presents the unknown, a risk of crashing and burning in a ball of flames or the potential to change lives for the better.

Today I have chosen to take the plunge into the deep end, and step out of my comfort zone (about 200 miles out of it!). I have always admired those who write daily journals, or the bloggers who’s posts keep you coming back with interest. The whole concept projects a sense of catharsis…but who would care to read about what little old me has to say?! It is this train of thought that has held me back for so long. My internal monologue is like a broken record on repeat telling me ‘your lifes not interesting enough to write about’, ‘your writing isn’t good enough’, ‘dont waste your time’ until I just put the idea…

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The Cigarette Lady, Dollar General And A Random Thought

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Is It Time You Challenged Your Beliefs?

I think a lot.

One of the things I like most about the marketing industry is I am able to speak to and watch businesses thrive or die.  This is important for my job because it allows me to watch the actions of business owners which brings about the death of that business, which I can then take and use to help my current clients.  If I can help them avoid the pitfalls I witness in others then I have done my job.

 

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And then of course I am able to look at the parallels of business owners and life in general. One of the mentalities I have observed that almost all of my thriving business owners possess is the willingness to challenge their own beliefs.  They are quick to recognize that they do not know everything and are slow to make assumptions.  They are willing to consider the possibility that they could be wrong or their thinking could be flawed.  And because of this mentality they are able to make decisions which take into consideration many angles and many perspectives.  To assume you know is death.   I was once told by a successful Charlotte business man that the most important question I could ever constantly ask myself is “Could I be wrong?”

I get a lot of comments each week and I get even more emails about posts I create; especially those relating to positive thinking.  I find it ironic that those who express opinions contrary to mine on being more positive are themselves somewhat negative people; and I know this because they tell me they are.  I also know this because positive people generally agree with my view, therefore it is a safe assumption that someone arguing against one of my posts is by default more inclined to negativity or less likely to be a positive thinker.

So I want to lay down a challenge for my readers.

My thinking goes this route: if you are opposed to more positive inclinations (meaning you are reading this and already beginning to construct your anti-comment), is it possible that your reluctance to begin developing a more positive attitude is contributing negatively to your life?  Are you willing to challenge your own beliefs?  Are you willing to consider that you could be wrong?  Are you willing to consider for a moment that your mental inclination does in fact have a profound impact on your life?

For those of you who do not believe in the power and benefits of a positive outlook I am here to inform you there is hope.  I was once just like you.  I was once an incredibly negative person and still battle complaining, getting pissed off at the simplest of things and seeing life through a negative lens.  I was the realist.  I was the naysayer.  I did not believe.  I was a procrastinator.  And I definitely did not buy the belief that I could change my life by simply seeing the world through rose-colored glasses…and I was wrong.

One day about three years ago it dawned on me that I had to make a change.  I looked at my life and what I had achieved and realized if I wanted more, then I had to figure out what was going wrong.  I wasn’t happy in my profession.  I felt like an underachiever compared to my own expectations.  And my research on habits led me to realize that I had created the box in which I felt trapped.  I had created my own mental cage.

The only way I could escape this cage was to go through a revolution of the mind; a coup d’etat if you will.  It was at this time that I began researching the habits of successful people and began to insert these habits into my life.  I began to take better care of my body.  I began to read more history.  I stopped watching television.  I started learning how to become a better listener.  I stopped eating too much junk food.  I started something new and exciting (this blog!!).  In short, I completely revamped my existence and in turn I completely reshaped my view of the world.

Image result for thumb hit with hammerNone of this would have been possible if I had allowed myself to assume I had it all figured out; if I allowed myself to remain in that same old broken mindset.  I can tell from the comments I get that many of you are in the same boat I was in 3 years ago.  I hope some of you take a long hard look at yourself and challenge your thinking.  I mean take a long hard look at yourself, your thinking, and then ask yourself what has your mentality produced in your life.  If the answer is disappointment, failed relationships, hardship, unhappiness, loneliness, financial hardship, etc. then isn’t it about time you challenge your current belief system and adopt one that begins to produce better results?  If you continue to hit your thumb with a hammer and it hurts and bleeds, why would you continue to hit your thumb over and over and over and over?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to stop hitting your thumb?

Challenge your thinking.  Weigh the results you’ve gotten thus far compared to your mindset.  If you like the results then keep on keeping on.  If you don’t, then maybe it is time for your own mental revolution.  Remember this, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten.  If you want something different, then you will have to do something different.

Just something to think about on a Friday morning.

One Simple Thing You Must Know to Change Your Life

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Do you want to know the one simple thing you must know to change your life?  The simple principle on which I base any and all habit changes and on which this blog is founded upon?   Here’s a hint: it begins with your mind.

The two topics I discuss which get the most email response are when I write about being overweight or the power of positive thinking.  I was going back through email responses to some archived posts and found an interesting pattern-every single email arguing against the law of attraction came from self-professed “realists” (the word I used to describe myself when I was a more negative thinker) who had never tried to implement the principle.  On the other hand, those who emailed to express their belief in the power of positive thinking were former negative thinkers who had used the principle to change.

It seems that any time I express my belief that you can alter the course of your life by simply changing the way you think, people come out of the woodwork to debate me-or should I say negative people come out of the woodwork to debate.

Change begins at the moment you change your thinking. 

I am a people watcher as many of you know.  I watch successful people and I pay attention to their life habits.  I also watch less successful people and I pay attention to their life habits.  It was this type of comparison thinking that led me to change my thinking about 2 years ago.  I determined that I was not pleased with the results I was getting and decided to change my daily habits to mirror those of successful people.  To that point my habits were not producing the results I wanted and I recognized that I needed to make changes.

I began by making my bed every morning.  I began watching the foods I put in my body.  I started exercising a little.  I started to read a bit more.  I eliminated television from my life.  I started this blog.  I completely restructured my daily habits and slowly but surely my life began to change.  It wasn’t easy, but it happened.  nj7373-433a-i1-0

If you are not happy with what you are getting from life, then maybe it is time for a mental revolution?!  Maybe it is time for you to take back some control of your life.  Maybe it is time for you to take a serious look at the destructive force that is your own thinking.  Change happens in a split second at the moment you realize you can no longer continue as you are and something new is required.

Call it the law of attraction or the power of positive thinking or whatever you want to call it-I call it the truth.  Know this my friend-if you leave your life to the roll of the dice, your life will be unpredictable and random.

Rockets of Desire!

This is Insane Roots!!

Insane Roots

I am so excited! I have been exploring the teachings of Abraham Hicks for a few months now and I finally think I am getting the hang of it. I was making it a bit too difficult at first (of ‘course I was), by actually changing every negative thought I had. I realize now that by focusing so much attention to negative behavior, I was only attracting more struggles with my negative patterns. I now realize that it is more about paying attention to your feelings and what they are telling you about any individual moment in time. It’s about recognizing what you don’t want by being aware of the source of the feelings connected to those things.

Over and over again Abraham has said “By knowing what we don’t want, we can better understand what it is that we do want”.

The main goal in all of this is…

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Why a Dream Life Will Require You to Change

stock-illustration-13079513-cute-professions-setWhen we were kids we dreamed of being police officers, firemen/women, fighter pilots, princesses, presidents, deep sea divers, astronauts, etc.  Contrary to our dreams we ended up being bartenders, accountants, retail workers, engineers, sales staff, etc.  Not that these occupations are not admirable, but I don’t know many 8 year olds that say they are going to be an account executive for a bank versus a fighter pilot when they grow up.

I have a Walt Disney World stock certificate hanging in the bedroom which contains a quote from the visionary himself, “That’s what’s wrong with the world today, too many people grow up.”  And I think about that quote every single day and make sure that I just act goofy enough to remind myself that this life is a game and I try to play it like a kid.

I allow myself to laugh to tears at any chance, I tell stupid jokes that make no sense, I sing-song what I want to say every day (completely annoys Evelina), I look online at toys I had when I was young and reminisce about my youth, I fight each and every day to keep the kid in me alive and well because being an adult is so completely boring!!

So we exit childhood, head off to college or enter the workforce and work to obtain steady pay to take care of bills, get married, start a family and then live through the lives of our children…right?  Occasionally experiencing a moment of nostalgia in which we recall the person we used to be and the dreams we once had.

A 2013 Gallup Poll estimated an alarming 70% of those surveyed either hated their jobs or were completely disengaged, and not even incentives and extras were enough to change their views about their job.  Are you kidding me that 70% of us are working jobs that we hate??

So why not dare to dream?  And why not dare to be extraordinary?  Either that or you could spend your life working a job you hate only to get terminated after 10 years and then what are you left with?

Several months ago I had a friend of mine share with me how much he hated his job and felt trapped by it as he had to support his family, pay bills and take care of his responsibilities.  His thought was to just keep the course and maybe things would get better, but in the end, his focus needed to be on his family;  keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.  My first thought was…”are you kidding me, that is a horrible plan!!!!”

Debt concept.

Debt concept.

But I pulled myself together and dove deeper.  Come to find out he had zero financial freedom and couldn’t take a job he enjoyed and make less money nor could he take the risk of starting a business.  So my advice to him was to focus his entire life to becoming debt free!  Ultimately his issue wasn’t that he couldn’t find a job he enjoyed, it was that the way he lived his life disallowed him to attain freedom from a terrible job.

Remember, #2 in the rules of the universe is you must determine what you are willing to sacrifice to get what it is you desire. His life focus, mission and energy has to become solely focused on freeing his family from the horrors of debt.  And the debt must be attacked with faith, perseverance and desire!  Stop going to restaurants, stop drinking, stop smoking, disconnect cable, stop buying $1500 televisions, stop using credit cards and sacrifice for as long as it takes to gain freedom!

Identify the real problem and take action immediately!

One of my favorite past times is people watching as it is so much fun (and very educational)!  I especially like listening to people complain about their current life situation and troubles, which often revolve around relationship problems, loneliness, friend drama, or money; but mostly money.  I then look at how they squander their resources and the problem is usually evident!

Pinpoint an area of your life that is holding you back from living your Dream and work toward fixing the problem!!  If you are in too much debt then make your life mission to be debt free!  If you want a better job, then start taking classes to get a specialty degree and get that job!  If you want to meet that special someone, get off the couch and find ways to meet people!  If you are not happy where you live, then find a way to save money and move somewhere that you enjoy!

You are the commander of your life, the dictator of terms, the architect and designer so pick one thing to change and see it through, then pick another, then another, then another…build positive forward momentum.   Do not be afraid to identify with your dreams.  Don’t let naysayers tell you that you can’t.  Don’t allow fear and doubt to dictate your life course.

I challenge you to be extraordinary, bigger than life and fulfilled!