My A – Z Codependency Challenge – D

Diary of a Recovering Codependent

Denial, Delusional, Deceit, Debacle 

Oh good grief! When I started this little A-Z challenge I don’t think I really thought it through well. I’m laughing at myself now because it’s only day 4 and who wants to admit these damn words?

Delusional: having false or unrealistic beliefs or opinions – Yep, I had false and unrealistic beliefs of my life. I believed my life was good for the most part. I believed I was truly helping people who needed me. I believed someone loved me when they told me they loved me. I believed I was put here to help others regardless of what it did to me. I believed my needs, wants, hurts, disappointments, even successes were not as important as yours. Oh good Lord was I delusional!

Denial: disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing – Yep, I lived in denial. I did not believe how…

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thursday was good, got some good news, and helped a friend, also got new books too

Therapy Bits

todays been good. my pa came this morning. as usual she was early, i was barely awake when she arrived. that was ok though, i’m used to her being early by now. if she was late i’d be shocked. i had breakfast, i kinda didnt stick to my healthy foods today, i had sausage and hash browns that needed to be used up so i got her to cook those for me. then i got in the shower while she started cleaning. she vacumed, mopped the floors, made the bed, cleaned the kitchen, etc. all while i was showering, getting my hair dried etc. lol we make a great team.
we chatted then for a while. we mostly chatted about dogs. she is a huge dog lover and well so am i and we just chatted about our dogs. then i got her to go to the store for me…

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Danny’s World: A Few Blogging Tips

Danny's iphone 022It has been quite some time since I posted anything about blogging tips so I thought I would take a few moments and answer some common blogging questions I get via email. Here goes:

Tags – More Isn’t Better!

Some of you don’t know that WordPress limits tags to 15 including a category designation.  If you use 16+ tags it’s like using zero.  Don’t use more than 15.

I think I write good content, but why do people not seem to want to engage with my page?

There is no hard, fast rule here.  I have 2 basic principles based on other pages I have followed to help you with this: 1. post content which appeals to the masses, or 2. write specific content which appeals to a specific group of people of which there are considerable numbers.  I’m not sure where I fall in this paradigm, but I believe I would be more along the lines of option 1.  With that said I follow a page called Lucky Otter’s Haven which appeals to people dealing with narcissistic relationships.  The content is incredibly informative and Otter gets a ton of views each month.   Regardless, your content still must be helpful, informative and high-quality.  

How do I grow quickly?

For those of you who do not want to wait you must be willing to reach in to the change purse.  The route to fast growth is to operate a self-hosted blog, use Google Adwords, practice incredible SEO tactics and advertise on higher volume blogs.  Then, connect your page to every possible social media site and be active.  Then (and probably more important than any of the previous stuff) you must produce relevant, helpful, quality content.

Why don’t you visit my page more often?

I get this question a couple times per month.  The truth of the matter is I try to get to every blogger’s page who follows me.  But even if I could read 100 blogs per day, it would still take me over 3 months to read every page.  This brings me to a tip on engaging with your readers…Each day I visit 50 pages and I select those pages directly from my notifications.  I recommend you use this tactic as well.  After all, it is a good practice to engage deeply with those who are choosing to comment and like your posts. Then engage with those bloggers who you follow in Reader.  If you use these 2 tactics you should be able to cover a lot of ground and do so efficiently.

What can I do if people are not commenting and liking my posts?

There are many reasons why we blog.  Some do so to vent and purge.  Others want to make an impact on the world.  Some people want to display their poetry.  Etc, etc, etc.  But we are all here to have others look at our stuff.  If this were not the case then we could simply keep a journal in a notebook instead of displaying it for the world to see.  If you want people to comment and like your content, then you need to write content worthy of receiving a comment or like.  I think a lot of people miss this simple point: people are under zero obligation to read anything a blogger writes.  They are under zero obligation to engage or care.  The blogger must give people a reason to care; a reason to engage.  You must be unique.  You must be profound. You must be informative.  You must be engaging.  You must be creative.  If you are not one or all of these things then you are…….INVISIBLE.  Getting people to your page is easy. Keeping them coming back is not.  Getting them to engage is nearly impossible in a crowded digital world.

 

Last, but not least, remember this one point…

…blogging is a verb.  Blogging is all about interaction.  When I first started blogging I thought I would write great content, hit publish and people would flock to my page to read my wonderful views on the world.  The truth is blogging is action.  In order to get comments, you must comment.  In order to get LIKEs, you must first LIKE.  In order to get interaction, you must first interact.  If you sit back and wait, you will spend your whole life waiting.  Get active.

 

I hope this helps a little.  If you have any questions for me you can always contact me through the contact page here.  Have a great Tuesday!!

Another Hospital Trip, Another Purple Dress

h048017_13Daily Prompt – Better

I am late to the party on this daily prompt word (it is from Saturday). However, when I finally checked it I couldn’t resist as it is the perfect word on so many levels.

  1. On Friday at 2:20 pm (exactly 2 hours late), I was wheeled into the operating room for my hernia repair. The on-again-off-again-on-again surgery was finally happening. Since I only had around 48 hours notice, I was feeling better about it – not so much time to stress out.
  2. Much of the stress I was feeling about moving also melted away with the surgery. I can’t lift for 2-6 weeks and we are going to be in our new place two weeks from today (Saturday). I have packed about all I can and now I just leave it in the capable hands of Hubby, friends and, of course, God.
  3. I was able to handle…

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Danny’s World: A Common Question

“How do I grow my blog fast?”  This is the most common question I receive via email.  As a matter of fact it has become a back-n-forth email game Jason (Harsh Reality) and I play. The reason being is that the requests for help get incredibly forward and sometimes downright aggressive in nature.

Danny's iphone 022Currently a quarter of my followers (around 10,000) are bloggers themselves so it makes sense that bloggers want help growing their network.  I sought help when I first began and OM was gracious enough to help me understand the nuances of blogging.  He is the person who taught me the meaning of “blogging is a verb”. And to this day most of what I know I attribute to his tutelage.

The answer to the question is not a secret.  Growing takes a lot of work.  Growing requires time.  Growing demands dedication.  When you put in the hours, grind it out day-after-day and give it time, growth will occur. But it’s more like watching a tree grow than a house being built.  It takes years not months.

When I first started blogging I worked my blog around 60-70 hours per week.  I started early in the morning and I continued until late in the evening.  I adjusted my daily schedule so I was always attending to the blog.  I have always tried to give my page a “live” feel by responding quickly to comments, keeping new content posted and sharing other bloggers’ pages to provide a variety of information.

I hope this helps those of you interested in growing.  You must be active and patient; in time growth happens.  Tomorrow I will have a brand new post with blogging tips so be sure to check back in the morning!

 

Dizzy, MS and possible redundancy…

Dinosaurs, Donkeys and MS

Me and Dizzy had abit of a stressful week last week. For the first time we’re facing possible redundancy and it’s got us thinking about employment and MS.

dizzy-work

Having MS has always made me feel vulnerable when it comes to work. I’m one of those people that worries far to much about letting people down and I’ve always worried what my employers would think. Would they think I was too unreliable? Not fit for the job? This is partly why I kept my condition a secret at work until recently. As it turned out they’ve been amazing about it! 🙂

Loads of positives have come from this and it’s made me feel so much more secure in my job. Until this. First I sat and worried about whether my condition would effect their decision and then I also started worrying if I am made redundant what do you tell people at an interview?! I know it’s illegal…

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My Journal: Falling…and Getting Back Up

The Purple Almond

I have fallen away from

my goals over the past 2 weeks…

Well, I think I dread writing this entry more than my first one.  At the end of my first journal entry, posted on May 4, I added these goals:

  • OBVIOUSLY-stay away from soda
  • Drink 100 ounces of water a day
  • Log all food/meals
  • walk 2 miles a day
  • do yoga 3 times during the week
  • meditate every day for 30 minutes

I was doing very well. I had been away from soda for several weeks. I was logging food every day and meditating each morning. Water is never a problem for me. I was even walking 2 miles a day. The only thing I struggled with is finding time to do yoga.

Then Monday May 8th hit…

As many of you know, on that day, my son was in a bicycle accident in which he broke 3…

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New diabetes pen has sugars all over…

Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

It is called Tanzeum. I was wrong with the name the other day. They decreased my oral meds and said it will take a couple of weeks to settle down. I was only 74 the other day than today it was 159. Crazy.

Got my new diabetic shoes. Took forever. The smallest pair is too big for my feet. She had to rig them to fit.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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Counting My Spoons

Tripping Through Treacle

Many people with a chronic illness will have heard of the ‘spoon theory’; the idea that you start your day with X number of spoons (i.e. the energy needed to complete a task) and that every activity in your day uses those spoons up. It goes something like this :

Start my day with 12 spoons

1. Wake up and have a shower uses 1 spoon

2. Getting dressed, doing hair, putting make up on uses 2 spoons

Showering and getting ready is exhausting; for many people with MS, including me, the warmth of the water exacerbates symptoms. I love baths but they are a distant memory for me now, due to the adverse effect they have on my legs. My shower stool is my friend.

I usually try and rest for 5-10 minutes after my shower to allow my legs time to rest. Obviously, this is not always possible…

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Life update

Therapy Bits

I’m having a pretty good afternoon. I’m relaxed and in a good mood.
Its nice to feel calm. It feels good.
Strange, but good. I’m so used to feeling on edge, stressed out etc that I dont know how it feels to just sit and be.
I like this feeling.
My dads getting sick. He has something going on with his chest. He is coughing a lot and he also has stomach issues going on. we are trying to get him to see a doctor but he keeps refusing. i told him he isnt going to get better by doing nothing.
Nitro is doing good. He’s happy. He’s such a cuddle bug. Always looking for pats. He has taken to licking my toes lately to show his affection for me. its pretty cute.
overall life is good this afternoon. I hope your all having a good saturday.

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